LateNight and SnuggleNaps

Yesterday was a VERY long day.
It started with such possibility. The tomatoes slept until 10:45am, when I finally woke them. I seriously hate waking anyone, especially babies, I think sleep is so important. But they needed to wake up with enough hours left in the day to fit four more bottles in.

Jackson, with his feeding frustrations, does best when the bottles are evenly spaced. But with waking up so late they ate later, this put their next two bottles pretty close together. Let's add Sara being there hovering to take in every aspect of how I feed Jackson (she just wants it to get better and if she can learn something that might work, she's willing to put in the effort), both Jackson and Tabitha being exhausted because after sleeping in so late their morning nap was tiny equals Jackson's tolerance being very low and him eating a bit less than usual. But pretty good.

Then the housekeepers came late. Sara was home to take a nap and we were pretty much shoved out the door to take a walk. I'm not complaining about the walk, I LOVE walking. Our location lends to visual interest and diversity. But my babies were tired before we started. They snoozed on the walk but nothing more than a fifteen minute stretch each. By the time our evening snuggle-nap* rolled around they were toast!

Exhaustion and feeding Jackson do not mix. Given the choice this tomoato would choose sleep over food in a heartbeat. So his evening bottle, with Roger and Sara both hovering over my every breath (what can I say? They are trying.), didn't go as well as I would have liked. An ideal bottle for Jackson is 200mL/cc. In the evening he takes between 30-60mL/cc for Roger and Sara. Last night for me he took around 160mL/cc. So he did alright. I wish I could say that I'm steadfast and what I do always works, but I'm can't. I do my best and sometimes it's just not as good as I'd like.

I believe in sleep and encourage it like crazy, but babies need to eat. Jackson needs to eat. Tomorrow Jackson and Tabitha go to get their 1st RSV shots. They will weigh them and as long as Jackson is growing we don't need to worry.

*Snuggle-nap; evenings are tough for many babies. Some call this period the 'witching hour' and it generally falls between 4-9pm. No matter what they do during the day my babies are tired around 4:30pm but have a tough time falling asleep. Because Roger and Sara won't regularly put them to bed in the evening we cannot establish a catnap. Our compromise/balance for this is a sling-nap when I'm there and when Roger and Sara are home one holds Jackson while he naps and they let Tabitha fall asleep in the swing for a short nap. I put on the sling, add one baby at a time then rock in the rocking chair for 30 minutes to an hour. Ideally they both sleep, if not they benefit from the body contact, being close to each other, navigating tight space with their twin and calm relaxation. On really great days they both fall asleep early on and as I rock I doze with them. But it is just as nice when one of them just looks around and touches the other during sleep. There's no crying during this time and we all enjoy the snuggle.

Early to Bed

Tonight I'm staying late so that Roger and Sara can meet with some like-minded folks and do some filming. In preparation for my long day today I planned to get to bed early last night, really early. Norah and I rushed home and immediately started dinner.
As we were finishing I received a call from Roger, Jackson was refusing to eat again.
Sara was exhausted from trying.
Jackson and Tabitha were already in bed.
Roger's reason for calling was to see if anything, anything was different during Jackson's feeds during the day.
As I had told him before I left his house an hour earlier, Jackson had a great day. Ate wonderfully. He possibly had an even better time eating than previously. I didn't know what the problem was.
Roger continued, pushed, rephrased the same question, asked multiple times.
I repeated myself, tried to remain calm and not push, although he was pushing like crazy.
Finally, I told him that although I couldn't offer any insight into Jackson's feed, I suggested they not start the 9pm feeding cycle again. If Jackson didn't want to eat, then don't keep offering him food all night.
Of course this frustrated Roger and he basically said that they'd feed him if he wanted to eat.
I told him that if Jackson thinks he can make it until the next feed why would he invest himself in this bottle?
Roger tells me, for the second time in a month,
"Samara, I don't believe Jackson 'thinks' about anything. He's smart but not that smart."
Norah reminds me to breathe.
I star again,
"Roger, you can choose what you'd like to do, I'm not telling you that you need to starve Jackson. But I think this is behavioral and feeding him again tonight will encourage him t repeat this routine tomorrow night."
"Samara, I doubt this is behavioral. You and I both know all those behavioral ideas are good in theory but when it comes down to it we need to follow our baby."
"We do follow the babies. When Tabitha needs to eat, we feed her. We adjust what we offer them, but I believe it IS behavioral because he doesn't do it during the day. You've given him the option to eat, now let him sleep."
"I know he doesn't do it during the day. That suggests we are doing something wrong..."

Okay, stop. This was where I reassured him, told him that didn't have to be the case and that it could be a habit they've all formed together. Parents have such a tough time, there is so much uncertaintity and doubt. It is not my job to add to this. I want to guide them and build their confidence. Parenting isn't easy and I never lie to my parents, but telling them they are the problem, true or not, when they are feeling terrible, out of control and like they are losing hope, Never helped anyone. I will continue to encourage them in the direction that I know works. they will continue to hear my perspective and choose. In this we will find a balance that best benefits these babies.

After all of this Jackson decided to sleep all night. Roger and Sara would have rested and started over today but Miss Tabitha decided 1am was playtime. She, Roger and Sara were up until 4am. I'm not sure what all of this is about but my gut tells me both Jackson and Tabitha are very smart and they are testing Roger and Sara. We'll see how this all plays out. Tonight I'm putting them to bed.

Today's Public Blog-o-vision

Yesterday was a rather perfect day, as far as days go. The tomatoes napped beautifully, ate ideally and playtime was relaxed but fun. We took a nice long walk and met this wonderful older lady who told me all about her two adult sons. One's a surgon and the other a lawyer. She raised them alone and was very proud to talk about them. The especially nice part was that although she knew I wasn't their mother, she asked, she asked about their mother, remarked on how beautiful the babies were and told me that it is important work I'm doing. It was very kind of her and I appreciated it.

Today has been a little choppier as far as naps go but with such awesome naps yesterday they likely have extra energy today. I'm glad the rain has stopped and we'll get another nice walk later this afternoon.

In other news, I can't stop thinking about getting pregnant. I'm dying to get started and be on that road. I love kids, parenting and Norah so much. We make a great team and I want us to have our family for Christmas. Maybe by next Thanksgiving.

Today's post is brought to you by the number 5, the letter B, for baby of course!

Hooray!!! Back at work!

I couldn't help myself, I had to dress them extra matchy-matchy today. Aren't they sweet? You can't see them, but they really are.

I'm back at work today! I'm so happy!

Last night I was dancing around singing, I'm go-ing to work to-morrow. I'm go-ing to work to-morrow.

It is a good day. It is sunny and crisp and beautiful. I'm so glad to be back to work.

The tomatoes are good. Their hands and feet have really grown. I hope that means they will be tall and not be held back because they were so premature. Starting life at less than two pounds each, you continually wonder how they will grow and develop. How long will they play catch up. I know that they should be caught up by three years old, but they missed and entire trimester in the womb. That is a lot to miss.

Of course, being back to work after missing five days, two were the weekend, comes with consequences. Jackson is having a tough time eating and feels thinner. Very worrisome. And Sara says Tabitha isn't napping for very long at once. I'm not sure if Sara thinks this is a good thing or not. I'm definitely a supporter of longer deeper sleeps over shorter, lighter ones. I'll keep you posted as the week progresses. Right now Jackson is having trouble turning over at the 45 minute mark, tired little tomato!

Worth a thousand words...

Since I'm not working, groan, I have a bit of free time on my hands. I've used this [opportunity] to add to my blog. While I can't go back and remember exactly what I was feeling on each day, I do have dated photos to remind me. As they say, a photo is worth a thousand words, too bad I can't post pictures. You'd definitely enjoy them, everyone does!

Home Again

Tomorrow I'm staying home - AGAIN! I'm so bored and ready to be back at work! They want to play it safe though and wait until Monday. Oh my goodness!! I miss those tomatoes! Basel is cute, see above, and I love Norah, but working is what I do! I'm busy. I'm efficient. I get more done in two hours than most people get done all day, when I'm at work. But when I'm at home, forget it! Tomorrow I will be productive, even though I'm not headed to work. I'll go and get my flu shot. No choice on this one. Pediatrician says we all have to have flu shots for the tomatoes' sake. I'm the last one. Sara doesn't believe in them either but she went first, then Norah, then Roger and tomorrow me. Yick.

Hope everyone else's weeks have been better than mine. Enjoy Friday.

Home sick today

Yep, today I'm at home, sleeping like I'm being paid for it. Oh wait, I AM being paid for it! The tough part of that is "what if I'm not sick?" I have some early sickness symptoms but nothing big and full-fledged. On the other hand, what if I am sick and I have to miss more work? As much as I love to sleep in, I hate missing work. Honestly. I get really bored at home and I seriously miss those babies!

Preemies make it extra tough on parents as far as sick/not sik caregivers go. They have to make the call, should we risk my tiny bit of symptoms so that the parents can go to work or should we play it safe so that we know the babies stay healthy. Add to that twins infants that most parents aren't sure they could actually handle for the entire day by themselves and you have a definite conundrum. My last family ALWAYS risked it. Unless I was really sick, I came to work so Clover could go to work. [Stephen wouldn't consider staying home, are you kidding?!] Today is the first time this has been an issue. I called this morning and after some debate, seriously, Sara decided I should stay home and rest. Maybe it's nothing but let's be safe. Sara's babies were also born six weeks earlier than my last twins and were on the cusp of life or death at birth because they were so, so early. That also mean that they are older now than Madison and Addison were for their first winter. This means they have better immune systems. And they are much more hearty too. Madison and Addison were always smaller and more tender little chickens.

Speaking of my hearty little tomatoess, I miss them. But I'm exhausted so I'm going back to bed!

Old & New

The end of September brought our farewells to visiting family. Grandmommie had been here for three weeks and as a means of saying goodbye and capturing the moment I set up our first real photoshoot. There are a few great shots, three generational photos, Tabitha photos and Jackson photos. Out of the batch the favorite is a photo of Jackson and Tabitha together. They are cuddled close and relaxed just being babies.

On Friday of last week, the very beginning of November, I thought we'd try to get another shot of the two of them with a similar feel. There are a few cute shots but nothing truly outstanding. I'd love to show you these two photos compared to one another but as I've had some bad press (read: UPDATE) I can't share with you our sweet tomatoes cuddled together. But take my word - they are adorable!

Activity on the baby front continues as usual. Tummy time is still a battle as is getting Jackson to eat. I'm not sure whether he's formed a negative habit, acting out to get the extra attention it always brings or just really frustrated. If indeed it were the last we'd want to do whatever possible to help him figure this out. Although it is hard to believe that he's having an actual problem when his issues are terrible with his parents and not so bad with me. It could be that my experience feeding babies gives me more confidence, persistance, patience or ways of feeding him that allow us to have more successful bottles thus increasing our likelihood of having having better feeds more often creating a pattern of success. But maybe not. I really can't give you the hard and fast answer, this isn't a precise science. It would be nice if is were though.

The only other news around here is that Tabitha needs the next size of diapers. She's leaking frequently and has gotten a very random rash. It is along the legs and waist holes of the back of her diaper area. Not anywhere in the middle but where the elastic is too close against her skin. So missy Tabitha will be moving up to size three diapers - a far cry from the teeny premie diaper she had falling off of her bottom in the NICU. Grow baby grow!

As far as our world goes I'd say life is plugging along quite well. We'll get past this feeding issue and come into something new, and it will continue, us moving from one thing to the next until I'm reporting new words, steps and more adorable personalities, at which point it will continue still!

This week

Jackson is still having lots of trouble eating for Roger and Sara. He took about half his normal amount each day, if not less. It is very defeating for them and I'm not sure how to make it better. He doesn't seem to be having the same issues with me. During the day he eats whatever I offer him, no problem. But in the mornings and evenings he eats 1/3 or less of his bottle for Roger and Sara. I suggested to Roger that maybe Jackson prefers the snuggle and being put to sleep that they do. Which looks like this; he eats enough to take the edge off then he fusses/refuses to eat, they snuggle him, sing to him, rock him, do whatever it takes to calm him, which ends in him asleep on them nearly every time, and then the bottle is over. If he fusses/cries a little while later they will start the process completely over which means instead of a 7pm bedtime he's been going to sleep in his bed around 9-9:30pm lately. When I suggested this to dad he looked me square in the eyes and said, "Samara, he's smart, but he isn't THAT smart."

Yeah. Okay.

Tabitha is doing wonderfully. Eating at mealtimes, burping at the end of her bottle, and sleeping, for the most part, during naptimes. She's getting more demanding though which I find exhausting. Roger and Sara say they want the kids to be patient yet never give them any opportunities to learn patience. They themselves aren't exactly models of patient-people.

This week EI is coming with a Gross Motor Consultant. I'm not expecting that to go very well. These tomatoes don't do much. We play on the floor during the week as much as we can but during the evenings, their biggest awake stretch, and weekends they don't do much playing on the floor. Tabitha would much rather be held. But we'll get there eventually. I hope.

Exhausting weekend.

Friday, the weekend and Me!

Thursday turned into an exhausting but awful day. Honestly. Tomatoes were exhausted and needed much more sleep than Roger and Sara said they should have. They ended up having the two one hour naps Mr. Pediatrician had suggested. Is he insane? They were basketcases. When Roger and Sara tried to do their nighttime routine, Jackson refused to eat. He finally took 50ml (almost two ounces) and promtly threw it all back up. Awhile later they convinced him to take 50-70 more and he kept that down. But all he realy wanted to do was sleep. They had an equally tough time feedimg him Friday morning.

On good Fridays Norah joins me at work. Oftentimes there are other more interesting things to do and she tries to get out of it, occasionally succeeding or compromising and only doing half the day. Because of Thursday she stayed all day Friday without the tiniest complaint. The reason I couldn't blog yesterday, are you ready fo this?

The day was awesome! Jackson caught up on his sleep. He ate wonderfully except one tough part of one feed. Tabitha slept, played and caught up a bit too. Norah and I grabbed lunch from this deli around the block. It was a really great day! I was so busy enjoying it that I didn't have time to blog! And we had a photoshoot. Photoshoots are always better when Norah can help. She has different ideas, perspective and her own set of hands. She's also completely willing to just do as I ask if I have something specific in mind. An opportunity to work with four hands?! Who wouldn't love that?

And today we are having a party in our tiny apartment. I'm very, very excited about it. We moved here over the summer and it is really, really small. This may sound awful but quite the contrary. I love it! There are only the two of us and Basel and it is perfect. We haven't really had many people over since we've been here, still settling, organizing, etc. So tonight is our big debut. I think the place looks good, the menu is perfect and now to decide what to wear...

Have a great weekend.

Expectations

This pediatrician thing has been stuck in my mind. I can't stop thinking about it. Norah can't understand why I'm so bothered by it, there are many people in positions of power with low expectations. Why do his low expectations bother me so much? And then it came to me, the reason it just gnaws at me. It was as if he said,

"Roger and Sara don't have a clue anyway. Why bother to teach them? You can't help everyone so do the minimum, expect nothing and you'll get by."

How can anyone that knows infants and children feel that way?! If caregivers, parents, grandmommies and pop-pops, aunties, uncles, friends, neighbors, nannies, etc, are willing to put in a little extra work followed by consistancy then the benefits are infinate.

The parent or caregiver of an exhausted child gets less alone time which means fewer opportunities to think, reflect and consider their children, actions and large number of possibilities.

The parent or caregiver of a picky eater spends more time worrying about food [how to get the child to eat, whether the child has eaten enough, what if they stop growing?] than about how to have fun, relax and try new things.

Children who get too little sleep get colds more often.
Children who don't get enough fruits and vegetables aren't as prepared to deal with illness as those who do.

The list goes on. So why, WHY would a pediatrician say it doesn't matter? Who cares? Why bother? It is very, very frustrating to me and it's nice to be able to vent about. I apologize for going on and on though.


On the schedule front, we're back to 'Roger and Sara's rule.' Jackson and Tabitha take a bottle before bed because they can't imagine putting them down without food, who cares about their teeth? Breathe Samara. In. Out. We'll change it later. No 5-6pm nap, they can make it, we're expecting too much of them, "they deserve it" is what Sara says.

I'm not sure how long I'm going to last at this job, with Roger and Sara being so inflexible. They are gone 5/7 of the week and want me to do things the lazy, no-forethought way. Which isn't the way that I work. If it's better for Jackson and Tabitha, even if it's harder now, then we should do it the best way.

As a follow up to this post, we're back to napping on blankets around the house. We're definitely having a transition period, but I'm excited about the product and think the benefits far outweigh the short-term re-learning curve.

Halloween 2007

What a long day.
Norah and I went trick or treating with our dog. It was great and relaxed and fun. After a bit of wandering through the busiest trick-or-treating area in downtown we decided to grab a bite, at our favorite pizza by the slice place. Like other nights before we leashed Basel to a parking meter and went inside, always keeping an eye on our spoiled puppy getting loads of love from passers-by. As we were relaxing into our second slices in trots Basel. No lie. He'd pulled free of his collar and thought he'd come in for a slice. The best part was, he walked right inside to us. We were tucked back in a corner because the place was so busy and he knew right where we were. As appaling as it was to have Basel in the pizza place we were both secretly proud and glad he'd came straight to us instead of wandering off in search of friendly folks with candy. When I took him back outside, sans pizza, to leash him back, there was his collar dangling from the leash, I can't imagine how sad I would of been had we come out and found that rather than having him come in and find us.

On the nanny front it was a very long and very exhausting day - in all of the best ways.
Roger, Sara and I took Jackson and Tabitha to visit the pediatrician. He said they looked great and then prattled on some crap low expectations, generalizations and complete lack of insight. He really annoyed me today and I disagreed with 90% of what he said. Aside from that, Tabitha is up to 13lbs4oz and she grew two inches! Jackson is up to 12lbs even. They both gained double what we'd like to see - way to go babies! He increased Jackson's z@nt@c because he has been having a tough time connecting to the bottle but not really spitting up. I don't know if he needs more medicine but we'll see how it goes.

The afternoon was even more exciting than the morning. While the tomatoes slept, Tabitha on Norah and Jackson, good boy, in his bed, Roger and Sara carved their first pumpkin!!! We'd been talking about it for days and I tried to prepare them for as much as I could, the shell is hard, the insides are goopy, it is fun, messy and an experience. You can do it.

It was excellent. Sara cut open the top.
"This is hard work."
Roger came in, saw the pumpkin was dirty.
"Can I wash it? Can I use the sponge?" (we had a very clean pumpkin!)
They scraped out the insides - saving the seeds for baking and eating later. Then worked together to choose a face. Sara wanted heart eyes, Roger thought that would be too tough, so he made circles. Sara wanted a trianlge nose, done. They wanted a smiley mouth with teeth, tough but excellent work. Their process and final product looked like a first experience and it was PERFECT! I'm very proud of them and impressed with the work they did. I took loads of pictures and but lost a huge chunk in the middle too. I was extremely disappointed, but as I'm the one who knocked my camera off the table I can only be annoyed with myself.

It was a great day, a wonderful Halloween and now I'm beat!
Hope tomorrow is quiet and boring. :)

Follow-Up, Routine Change

The Talk about the television issues I was having went about as I'd expected. I stated my perspective and frustrations, Roger said we'd never agree on this issue because they are an everything in moderation type family and my view on this is extreme, but that he does respect my opinion and Sara was the peacemaker, as she has been in the past.
" Samara we respect your view and will talk to eachother to see where we stand. If you have some websites or the reseearch you've mentioned I'd love to look at it. We haven't really researched this and what happened over the weekend was more of an experiment than a plan."

I'm hoping that we can find a balance that suits us both. As noted by yesterday's post I do not see any benefits to babies watching television. I think they miss out on other things and the parents use it as a default and miss excellent opportunities to use their imaginations to come up with suitable activities for the babies and themselves. They think that twenty minutes each week, which will become forty before two weeks have gone by, is fine. The main reason they think this is fine, both Roger and Sara said specifically, is because I'm here all week and I do such a great job with them that on the weekends they don't have to try so hard. Hmmm, and how does this make me feel?

Frustrated.

I understand this perspective and can see it's validity. But I'm here for a few years max, they will be with thier children FOREVER. And shouldn't the best quality time be spent as a family and not with their nanny?!

Unless something changes, I will try not to bring this up again. I'm not using this blog as an outlet for my frustrations but as an opportunity to share what I do. Most folks don't understand, respect or value nannies and I'd like to see that change. I've been doing this long enough to know what works and what doesn't and I feel I have a lot to offer. I work very hard and put 100% into my job. I also love my job and make a pretty good living considering that until Norah finishes her doctorate I'm the primary breadwinner.

UPDATE: Jackson and Tabitha haven't watched television since this event. Sara had no idea about all of the research and has told me it was more of an experiment than anything. We all joke about it from time to time, "it" being my extreme response. I think because I responded so seriously they stepped back and re-evaluated. I'm very happy with the outcome and the discussion made us into a stronger, better communicating team that trusts each other more.

All that aside, you may be wondering how scheduling and naps are going, at least I'd like to think that you are. Things are changing again. Jackson is having a really hard time eating. He screams at his bottle before starting to eat. I've noticed that this is worse when he is tired. Which makes sense, tolerance is lower when we are tired. They are both eating less at certain times and we've been having trouble with the last two bottle of the day running into each other. Roger and Sara have decided the third nap of the day is optional. They decided to skip it all weekend. I think that this is contributing the the sleep issues, both babies being overtired. Because one, a nanny, has to choose her battles, I'm letting this one go. I can't control what they do on the weekends and have other concerns surfacing.

If we drop one of the bottles we can make an actual dinner-bottle and drop the going to sleep bottle. This opens up the bedtime routine to actual together time. Right now it focuses on food. They don't need that and once they start getting teeth that would need to change anyway. Since they are five months that could start happening anytime. It is unlikely because they were three months early, but it is indeed possible. Changing the bottle schedule and bedtime routine opens a lot of doors and only closes the door to needing a bottle to go to sleep.

The bedtime routine looked like this last night;
6pm Samara leaves, playtime begins
bath, bottle, snuggles before bed at 7-ish, this is always variable because playtime, bathtime, feeding time, burping time, etc are all variable. Removing some of the parts of the equation should make this period more predictable.

In turn the wake up time would become more reliable. On an average day they wake between 6-7am to have a bottle then go back to bed. The later they go back down after this bottle the less likely they are to actually sleep, the more likely they are to start their day tired and short-tempered.

With the last bottle of the day happening before I leave, at the same time each evening, the morning bottle should follow in line behind. We'll see how this goes. If this works then the evening catnap is gone and morning predictably reigns.

I'll keep you posted!

Yesterday I photographed the babies bottles because there were so many and after I took two out the pattern surprised me. It was also the end of their little square containers. Now there are fewer bottles because we are now at four per day. Wish us luck!

Precious Time

During this weekend my little tomatoes were subjected to Baby Einstein.

Sara's justification to me, went like this,
"I said Roger don't tell Samara! ... I know that you don't think they should watch tv but it isn't like we let them watch four hours of television like some people. ... I think in moderation it is okay. Just twenty minutes a few times a week isn't a big deal. ... I watched it with them. ... " And so on.

If something needs that much of a confession followed by six justifying reasons from Sara and a few thrown in by Roger - do they really think it is okay?

I'm really, really upset about this. Babies have so much to learn, so many experiences to have while they are making those synaptic connections. Their rate of learning drops off significantly at six months, then stays steady until three years when it slows considerably. Why would you waste any of those precious moments on flashing pictures and good music simplified into annoying bits of noise?

People have to work, I can understand this. But your baby only has so many waking hours each week. If I'm spending the bulk of those hours with your children, shouldn't you cherish the 25 awake hours with them? Especially considering that during those 25 hours you subtract twelve for napping? That leaves 13 hours each week that these parents can spend with their TWO infants and they threw away half an hour on nothing? I'm shaping these kids five out of seven days and their input is sitting next to each other and not thinking? Setting up habits and patterns that could lead to speech delays, psychological disorders, sleep problems, irritability and obesity?!

What a waste.

I looked up some more info on the internet. If you are interested, it supports my views that watching television with babies is a waste of time, energy and brain power.
ADHD

Basics:
No child under age two should watch television at all, the Academy of American Pediatrics advised in 1998. Doctors blame TV for increasing aggression and obesity in children, now they add ADHD risk to early TV use.

Babies brains grow rapidly
Even a child playing with its own fingers has the neural patterning that comes from bending, flexing, stretching and grasping. Scientists tell us that the brain develops in completely unique ways between birth and three years. As a kiddie viddie baby sits "mesmerized", neural paths are not being created. This is crucial brain development that stops by age three.

Delayed Language skills.
The Seattle team surveyed more than 1000 families in February 2006 and found that — on parents' reports — infants between eight months and 16 months who regularly watched Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby videos knew substantially fewer words — six to eight out of 90 — than infants who did not watch them.

Less time spent interacting with others.
Researchers fear that excessive exposure to media among very young children may lead to problems of attention control, aggressive behavior and poor cognitive development.

Aggressiveness.
We know from studies of newborn rats that if you expose them to different levels of visual stimuli ... the architecture of the brain looks very different."

Watching TV can become a habit for your child. Help your child find other things to do with his time, such as the following:
• Playing
• Reading
• Activities with family, friends, or neighbors
• Learning a hobby, sport, instrument, or an art
The following people and places can provide you with more information about the proper role of TV in your child's life:
• Your pediatrician may have information about TV or can help you get it through the American Academy of
Pediatrics. Ask for the AAP brochure Understanding the Impact of Media on Children and Teens
• Public service groups publish newsletters that review programs and give tips on how to make TV a positive
experience for you and your child. Check with your pediatrician.


ADHD Link.
TV watching "rewires" an infant's brain... 
Even a child playing with its own fingers has the neural patterning that comes from bending, flexing, stretching and grasping.

ANGRY!!

I am so ANGRY!! Mondays can be tough, especially when it comes to transitions between parents and nannies with infants - toddlers and children as well. But what happened this weekend has just had me fuming all morning. I'll post as soon as I can get some cohearent thoughts together.

Lizard

There was a lizard in our kitchen sink when we came home last night. Norah freaked out and climbed up on a bar stool - should have taken her picture rather than the lizards - she's 5'9" and was petrified in such a girlie way! It was a teeny-tiny lizard and so scared! I think it must have came from one of the two plants she'd bought earlier in the day and put up over the sink.

Poor little lizard! I caught it in a vase and took it outside to a tree, across the street rather than the one nearby that Basel likes. I apologized to it, poor little lizard, it was a tree in the middle of downtown - not really getting back into the wild! At least it is back outside!

My "Aha!" moment

Yesterday afternoon I said forget it. I'm stressed. They're stressed and maybe a schedule isn't right for this family. I cannot explain to you how unlike me thing this is to say. I love a nice schedule. Routine suits me. And I get to lead on this front. But everyone - I man - EVERYONE was having a hard time. So who could it hurt to back off and relax a bit? I have to tell you, the fact that Sara argues/questions/discusses just like Norah could have a little to do with me doubting myself here.

Afternoon nap was spent mostly in my arms, in a sling, in the rocking chair with me holding 28.2lbs of baby - this being the combined weight of both babies. It was very relaxing and rest was had by all - including me. Afterwards I didn't push the evening nap, Sara insists they might not need this one and they never go down easy at this time in the evening. Of course as much as I've doubted the rest of the schedule I KNOW that they NEED this nap. But sometimes stepping back and letting go helps others to understand more. So, after a nice afternoon nap, I decided to skip the evening nap. They were playing happily on the floor until two minutes before Sara, along with Norah, came in. At this point Jackson was screaming because he wanted to be held but I was washing bottles. I'm short and not thin which makes it impossible to wash anything while wearing a baby in the sling, my arms just aren't long enough to reach around my belly, the baby and into the sink. Needless to say the rest of the evening they were exhausted and went to bed early. No one doubts they need the evening nap now.

Today I came in relaxed and ready to go with the flow. Sara left and babies continued to sleep. Five minutes before their bottle was due Jackson woke up. We chatted a bit, I changed him and started his bottle. Not far in Tabitha woke, same. After an hour of being awake Jackson looked tired so I put him down. Same happened with Tabitha. When Jackson woke a little early from his nap I took him in my arms and we rocked in the chair. He went back to sleep and I dozed. Much of the day looked like this, one hour awake and then sleepy. A nice long nap, Jackson needed extra snuggles to prolong his in the morning, Tabitha needed extra snuggles in the afternoon. Great, no problem - snuggles are nice for everyone.

Duing these two lovely, calm, slow snuggle periods I had time to think. Lots of time. And the more I thought about it the more I felt like I'd missed the forest because I was looking at a tree. I was so excited to have a schedule that even though 1:15hr seemed like a long awake time, it was what Sara wanted and what the book suggested. But it was too much for my tomatoes. They could do it the first day because they were rested from the weekend. But after that it was too much. That is why Tabitha was waking at 45minutes, she was overtired. I know this. I've seen this at least twelve times before, what was I thinking?! Waking up at forty-five minutes ALWAYS means over tired. I felt like I'd lost my marbles forgetting something so ingrained in me.

Now life is good. My tomatoes are sweet and well rested. Sara says Jackson is saying "boo" as of this evening. They are too cute. And now it is the weekend. I'm so freaking happy!!!

Growing stronger, lungs that is!

As the battle of the naps rages on I get through the days with email, photos, activity and as of this morning, books on cd. Today, for the Jackson and Tabitha, I've added a bit more playtime, just in case we weren't getting sleepy enough between naps. And the babies have added extra fussing during their early morning sleep period and now for the morning nap. Ahh the days of adult noises and sleeping babies have morphed into no adults, aside from myself, and determined, strong babies. My but how far they have come!

Update on Schedule, naps and life.

So much has happened since my last post. I wasn't slacking but working my bottom off. The babies' grandpoppie was ill so Roger flew to be with him while he was still lucid. He was away for a week and I worked late every night plus all day Saturday, so that Sara could make it through the week.

Roger made it home and settled in. Just about the time things were getting back to normal the call came that grandpoppie had passed. Now the debate, should Sara go with Roger for the funeral? Roger would stay a week but Sara could come home early. Debate, debate. can Noragh and I help, debate. Then reality struck. Sara didn't have her passport. She couldn't fly internationally and know she'd be allowed back home. Debate ended, Sara stays home.

Roger left on Saturday and thank heavens other grandpoppie calls and offers to help for the weekend. I'm off the hook! That was last weekend. It was my first break in two weeks and I really enjoyed it. No babies, no blogging, no diapers and the only naps I had to worry about were my own. It was lovely. There were kids though, the high schoolers from church put on their yearly pancake breakfast and Norah and I were the adults in charge. It went very well, we were all exhausted after three hours in the kitchen. But we plugged through and supervised Sunday School as well. It was a very long morning followed by a trip to the park for Basel. Ahhh the fall. Basel swam, he's getting better but still learning and still unbelievably funny every time, and we brought him homejust as exhausted as we were. We all went to bed, seperate beds, no furry Basel-butt on my pillow!, and slept for three hours! It was the best.

Of course during that lovely restful weekend I decided to give up coffee and caffiene. [Norah is pushing for this winter pregnancy really hard and I'm yeilding.] So Monday, what a day, I head to work caffiene-free and ready, oh boy, for an extra long day and the start of our new schedule! Oh joy!!

Side note,
Tabitha can now sleep through the night and is doing so regularly. Jackson has been doing this for weeks now. Both go to bed around 7pm and wake around 6am for a bottle. And they do this each night. Good news, wonderful. But about the time this became predictable, they started having issues with our daytime routine.
Now, side note within the side note;
coming home from the NICU both babies were on a three hour schedule. Of course that was thrown out the window as soon as they were home. Roger and Sara had been listening to NICU nurses for long enough and now they got to choose, or more precisely Jackson and Tabitha chose. They ate whenever they wanted and slept on who ever was closest. And this worked well because their [young] auntie was visiting for three weeks, I was there, both Roger, Sara and my Norah, not to mention visiting nurses, lactation consultants and when auntie left grandmommie arrived, also for three weeks. You try telling the grandmommie that lives a twelve hour flight away she can't rock them to sleep every-single-time. I will cheer for you. I made it through 2/3 of her visit before I had to step up. This is when we instituted the routine they had up until last week, about three weeks total. Eating every three hours, they can do it, they were doing it six weeks ago when they came home from the NIC, and sleeping by themselves within every three hour cycle. There was patting and soothing and touching and talking and it was a small step but a step nonetheless.

So, every three hours easily merged into a suggested daytime feeding schedule, spaced of course, three hours apart. Some days this was very tough for Tabitha. She likes the bottle to go to sleep. But I persisted, the routne prevailed and we were on our way. They started to become more aware and more social. No longer were they just sleeping when the opportunity arose. Then last week they missed a nap. They dozed while we were out but they were miserable later and took two days to get back to normal. [We'd been at Children's Hospital having some blood work done as a follow up from the NICU] We kept close to the schedule but stretched their awake times to see what they could handle, let them know there is time for socializing and seperate sleeptime from awake time.

We found that 1:15hr is about all they can handle. At an hour and a half they get overtired and have trouble going to sleep. We also found that for them this is total awake time - including the diaper/bottle/feeding/burping time. Since this last part takes 45 minutes max, 35-40 on average, we added 30 minutes awake time before each bottle because if they play after a bottle we're always worried about bringing the bottle back up.

Figuring out wht they need and getting them the sleep they need is crucial. 25 weeks is way too early to start a life. But they are thriving and I believe it is because they sleep. Children and babies release growth hormones during deep sleep, if they never get into that deep sleep or only get their irregularly they will never reach their potential. Starting life so early we need to give them every opprtunity possible to reach their potential. We've also seen that being tired affects the way Jackson eats. He has reflux and when he doesn't get enough sleep he spits up more, both in frequency and volume. He also has a really hard time connecting to the bottle when he's overtired, his latch is off, he can't get started and he gets really, really frustrated.

Taking what we found into account we looked to Sara's favorite sleep book, Healthy Sleep Habitsetc. He suggested, for a 4-6 months old baby, bed between 6-7pm, check, early wake up [with or without bottle, ours is with] around 5-6am, check, wake up around 7am, um no, nap #1 at 9am, nap #2 at 1pm and nap #3 at some point in the evening. Of course we modified this to fit our needs, more specifically the babies needs. 7am wake up is too early for them. They get up around 8:45am, bottle at 9:15am, nap #1 at 10am. Good. Wake up 12:45pm, bottle 1:15pm, nap at 2pm, okay. Wwake up at 4pm, bottle 4:30pm, nap #3 at 5:15pm. Tough but we can do it. Finally, wake up at 6pm, bottle by 7pm and bed.

Monday, without any caffiene, we embarked on our schedule-changing journey. I am pleased to report - it was perfect! I told Sara the plan, she liked it and agreed, then headed off to work. We had a tough first feed and were 15 minutes off all day, but that is AWESOME!! Tuesday I headed in bright and early and mom headed off to work [this is a new thing, she's been home with me on maternity leave until this week] morning went well and then during nap #2 Tabitha exploded! She refused. She was mad and not having it. 45 minutes and she was toast. No sleep. No. I'm not doing it she said in babyspeak - waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! [only much, much louder] Of course I finally get her to stop and BOOM!! Jackson has to put his thoughts in. I give in, I have a caffiene headache and I can't take anymore crying, we're only 30 minutes early at this point so we just go for a walk. Today, same deal. 45 minutes and she's done, mad, telling the world. Of course I know, ten years of doing this has taught me, if I keep giving in, it will keep happening. So I wait. And wait. And wait. She settles down and is quietly going to sleep. Of course this is the point at which the housekeepers show up [4hrs late and right at 45 minutes] to clean, vacuum and mainly, be really, really noisey. So cry, cry, cry. Calm, snooze, cry. And so it went, but today Jackson didn't sleep through it, he joined her. And as a baby chorus sang on and on I held strong - much to the housekeepers chagrin. You know this means that today I didn't have a headache. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Today was better then yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today, I can only hope. I'm also going to try tweaking the schedule just a little even though it worked o well on Monday. Maybe the morning nap is so refreshing after that nice long overnight sleep that Tabitha isn't getting sleepy enough in between the two naps. Jackson definitely likes this schedule and only cried out of frustration today because his sister was keeping him up.

In other news, today Jackson and Tabitha are five months old!! Technically they are more like two month olds but literally they have been here for five months. Very exciting. They are getting big and are unbelievably social. Today I saw the beginnings of their sennses of humor. Completely different from each other, of course. It is very exciting to see them changing and growing each day. Jackson's nose is changing and Tabitha's forehead is changing. They are both getting stronger, eating faster and making new sounds. Jackson tries to say hi, not really but it sounds lie he does. Tabitha can mimic almost any face you throw at her, tongue out, curled tongue, crinkled nose, she's a pro!

All in all life is pretty good right now. I'm exhausted and I know that once the caffiene headaches are completely gone I'll dip into a low. Norah and I have each given up caffiene before and seen it happen, it sucks, but if I am to get pregnant at the beginning of December then it's better now then later. And I can do it! I'm also losing weight. The idea was that I'd work really hard to look good for our ten year reunion in April, just before I turn 30, but now that's out of the window if I'm pregnant, right? I'll be just as chubby as I am now. Oh well, I'll keep working on it, I'm doing pretty well and I feel good so either way it is good for me.

Sorry for all the detail but I thought having it written down might help me later or someone else, having twins can be challenging but the benefits far outweigh the extra work at times. Two babies, together to share the good, the bad and the naps - it's all worth it!

Weekend Fun.

This weekend was wonderful!

Norah and I headed down to our favorite fall hangout with a couple of former charges. Alright former charges turned friends. Cameron who is two and Zander who is nine. She has gotten slightly bigger since I cared for her as an infant and toddler, I'm joking f course, she's so big! We have stayed friends over the last nine years and whenever we have the opportunity we spend extra time with her. But never have we brought along another child to share the spotlight. And we've thought about it, many times because we plan to have children of our own. How will Zander handle that? Will she be too jealous to move on to enjoy the good stuff?

While things started a tad slow - it was AWESOME! Zander had her spotlight as Cameron finished his nap, we all interacted as a group and then she took it on herself to talk, teach and hang out with him! He thouht she was the coolest thing ever! What a great day!

The Good stuff

They have so much personality for such little tomatoes.

Sara took a great photo with my camera whe she found us during a feed a few weeks ago. It is nice to be able to feed them both at once when they are starving, but I relish the feeds when I can focus on just one at a time. I work my hardest to be sure that we can enjoy the last leisurely feed of every work day one-on-one.

I took a great photo at the beginning of September, Jackson and Tabitha's aunt had just left a week earlier and she was leaving a message on the machine. Both were listening intently to her speaking. I think they recognized her voice. After this photo there's actually a shot of them fussing because she stopped talking.

There is also a great photo of our first meeting in the NICU. Roger and Sara were thrilled to let Norah and I hold them and took our picture together. Jackson and Tabitha were both so much bigger than I could have expected. The next day Tabitha came home and a week after that Jackson joined us too.

Okay, now, one last post. Tonight I've come upon some unexpected free time and took the opportunity to search for some more blogs to read. Norah loves to read blogs, graduate students, lesbians, TTC, parents, you name it she reads it. I read a couple of them but mostly I'm interested in different things. Twins, preemies, micro-preemies, other full time nannies, photographers - I'd love to read about these people all day long! But I have no idea how to find these other blogs and bloggers. I've been searching like a fool and read some pretty incredible stories. There are some truly amazing folks out there. Worried about family privacy and defining the line between what is appropriate and what just isn't okay, but with what's here I think I've struck a good balance. Of course there are those who would disagree, but that is always the case.

I LOVE photography. I love working with families. I love multiples. I love Norah. I've been a nanny for two months longer than I've been with her, which has been more than nine years. And what more can I tell you? It's late and I'm tired, but life is really good.

BTW if any of you know of blogs that I might enjoy - recommendations are welcome. Have a great weekend!

Ahh, time to relax...

This week is over!! I'm so glad it is FRIDAY! 

Days are so much longer with two babies and two adults always up to something. We're getting there one day at a time, together.

Having Jackson do 11 to 12 hour stretches at night is great but along with it come worries. Is it okay for him to go that long? If we were to look at his adjusted age (for those of you who don't know this is counted from the due date opposed to actual age which is counted from birth) he's only just five weeks old. But how can you just throw out those additional three months? He's happy, why not let him sleep?

Bottom line for his preemie self - if he's gaining [enough] weight then it is great.

Today we visited the pediatrician, the new one whom we all love, for a weigh in.

According to T. Barry Brazelton [pediatrician, researcher and author of Touchpoints] a six week old baby should gain about 1/2 ounce per day. It has been nine days since we visited our pediatrician for their baseline weigh in and measurements. That means our boy should be about five ounces heavier.

Last time Jackson weighed 9 lb 9 oz and today he weighed 10 lb 3 oz - that's right he gained 10 ounces! Double the expected weight gain for his adjusted age, Hooray for Jackson!!! Now he can sleep his 11-12 hours every night, we'll no longer try to wake you up lil'tomato, I'm so proud of you!

Now of course, little missy Tabitha is still demanding her 2 am and 6 am bottles, regularly waking up early and screaming until she is fed. And of course, because she is a twin and we were at the pediatrician's office anyway, she too weighed in. Last time she was 10 lb 13 oz and as of this morning she weighs 11 lb 13 oz! She gained an entire pound!! She definitely doesn't need that 2 am bottle no matter what she says. The doctor said her weight gain for nine days would have been perfect for the entire month!!! Sorry tomatokins, looks like your 2 am bottle is on it's way out. You can do it Tabitha!

That is the news for this week. Cross your fingers that next week brings the Roger and Sara's return to work, the appearance of normal fall weather and the reinstatement of my sanity! I'm joking, it really isn't so bad, next I'll be complaining about how long and quiet my days are.

In other news, the recent death in our lives has pushed just the right buttons to get us back on the TTC-wagon. We're thinking about trying again in November. Four unsuccessful tries down, one BFP to go! [BTW I'd inseminate with twelve vials if it meant I'd get pregnant with triplets - can you imagine?! I can hardly imagine anything better!]

Until next week then.

When is it time?

Life is good!

Babies are great!

Early Intervention came today to follow up on Jackson and Tabitha's evaluations from last week. Their computer was down so they really couldn't tell us anything. How lame is that?! Norah works with developmental assessments daily and they score them by hand if they need to. This just reinforces her views that EI folks are under-trained and unintelligent. These are my first EI folks and I've seen nothing to dispute my wife's claims. They do what I do with a different title - and they make LESS! I looked at EI jobs, I'm more than qualified but they really make crap. How could I support Basel and Norah in graduate school on that salary? And I'd be indifferent homes each day, dealing with diverse situations, varied parents and doing what? Encouraging parents, making suggestions, telling them what is appropriate at what age, what exercises they can do to benefit specific developments, and then I'd just leave and hope they were taking some of my suggestions to heart. Whereas in my job I do all those things plus I lead by example every day.

Enough about me, I enjoy my work and only ask a tad more respect when I tell others what I do because I make a difference every day. Update on the babies.

Late yesterday afternoon Jackson raised his head almost two inches off of the blanket - hooray Jackson! He also freed his left arm which had been pinned under his belly - all by himself! He vocalized while he worked but didn't cry or give up. I am very proud of him.

He is still having trouble eating. After a burp/once he becomes sleepy he has trouble beginning. He can suck, swallow, breathe but the initial suck gives him trouble when he's tired. It is exhausting for him and us but we are working on it every feed. He's still eating well and sleeping perfectly during the night. Again with the eleven hours.

Tabitha is getting more demanding with her desires. If she turns over in her sleep and fusses she can get herself back to sleep when given the opportunity. When she is "soothed" at this point it vamps her up and she fusses unhappily for quite a long time. She's still eating during the night and Sara has decided she's using the bottle to go back to sleep. Not what we'd like to see. The current debate is whether to decrease the amount she's offered, drop the bottle cold turkey or replace the bottle with the pacifier. I vote drop it cold turkey, she doesn't need it, she's waking up before it at times then not taking it, she doesn't finish it, soothing her with the pacifier entails various visits and re-insertions, eventually we'd need to wean her from the pacifier (she doesn't take it any other time than the middle of the night to stretch to a feed and never regularly) and soothing her with the pacifier would take as much work as soothing her without it.

Roger and Sara are still spending a lot of time at home. I thought I was fine with it but it is getting exhausting. I get glimpses of freedom, seeing what a day could be like without them all over the babies every twenty minutes and it makes me long for the days of baby-care rather than parentcare/consulting/re-doing what they mess up. But this is my job and I love it, right?

Measure a Life

Despite my lack of blogging, there is quite a bit on my mind.

Over the weekend we attended a memorial service because one of Norah's peers died last week from brain cancer. Sadly he left behind two small children and his loving wife. Being there was very good for us, we were able to grieve with friends and see that his wife is a rock. It is such a tough thing, cancer, long drawn out illness. It drains everyone in it's wake. And then it continues to go on and on. In the end it seems death is a relief both for the afflicted and the loved ones. But it has never felt that way to me.

When I was 12 my father had his first tumor removed. At 16 he had a colostomy and bid farewell to his pride, strength and manhood, as far as he was concerned. Then, when I was 17 and he was forty, my dad died. His battle with cancer was over and he had to fight no more. Everyone voiced how he'd never suffer again, and moved on. This month will bring his 12th death anniversary and I still have trouble being okay with the idea of saying, it's okay, we're okay, you can die now. But that is exactly what this wife told to her husband five hours before he died leaving her with their two small children.

And I know it is true. She will be okay. Their boys will be okay. And he wouldn't have been okay no matter how hard he fought to stay alive. But would I have been able to be THAT strong? I love my wife so much, how could I tell her to go? Just go.
I don't know if I could. I just don't know.

On the baby front things seems to be plugging along. The weekend brought grandmommie's flight home and Sara and Roger's move to returning to work. But Sara is having some trouble wrapping her brain around that one. She' taking it slow and feeling pulled in two directions. I'm not worried, there's no rush.

Tabitha is growing like crazy. I came to work on Monday she was a new baby. She's beautiful, like a cherub. She eats every 3+ hours during the day and every four hours at night. And she loves to sleep. Her bathroom habits could be better, she consistently has wet diapers but only dirties her diaper every other or every third day. We'll continue to keep an eye on that. She's still not really enjoying tummy-time unless it is an opportunity to sleep then she's all about it. When it is a workout, awake tummy-time, she lifts her head just enough to plant her face in the blanket and cry. We generally wait her out but it takes everything to make it longer than her - she's one determined little girl! Her core strength is improving so that she can hold herself up for 20 seconds or so while sitting on your lap with only a hand to steady her. We've also been working on sitting upright. Her lower half is extremely stiff, possibly normal but compared to her brother she's stiff, and she's getting a bit better. She isn't holding herself up at all but she's stopped fussing so much about being put into the sitting position.

Jackson is still battling with Reflux (GERD). We're continuing with the mildest medication possible and trying to improve things surrounding his feeds. Still burping every 20-30ml/cc we're keeping him more upright during feeds and trying the #2 nipples. He's still spitting and lately seems a bit more uncomfortable than usual. According to the pediatrician he was on a very low dose and today we increased the amount he was taking to three times as much. I hope it helps him, maybe decrease the burning in his throat. He eats on the same schedule as his sister during the day but during the night he is all about his sleep. He regularly goes seven hours between nighttime bottles and has just started doing a couple of eleven hour stretches! Not to worry as long as he continues to gain weight. Since he finishes every drop during the day it seems that they are getting about the same in total volume but a weigh in on Friday will assure us he is doing a good job. As far as physical development he's doing great. When we practice tummy time he does pretty well, meaning he can hold his head about 1/2 inch off of the floor and doesn't complain about it. But like his sister he thinks it is an excellent opportunity for a nap and usually falls asleep. Sitting practice is a bit easier with Jackson. He is rather relaxed and generally doesn't mind being put into a sitting position. Sometimes he can hold himself up enough that he only needs a hand to steady him. We'll keep practicing more each day and eventually we'll see the improvement.

That is all that I have for you right now. I'm still processing this new death and constantly thinking about how the wife must be feeling. He released his last breath while she held him. I can't even imagine what that must feel like.

Inspiration out of the blue.

Everything is so calm here today in preemie-ville. Grandmommie and Sara are out to lunch, Roger is working, Norah is here helping with feeds and the tomatoes are running on schedule, napping well and being cute. Not really much on my mind related to twins or preemies or even nannying. Then from thin air an email arrives from Ashley (also a former employer and mother of girl-boy twins, Sophia and Max).

In an instant I'm lost in old photos. There are so many memory provoking photos from the nearly four years I spent with Sophia and Max, two of the most beautiful boy-girl twins, the only full term set, it is a pleasure to wade through them. And yet time and time again my favorite photo remains the same. One of the last few I took as their nanny. They are three and a half and completely lost in their own worlds, yet the shot captures such feeling and possibility, and at the same time nostalgia for youth. The picture inspires me.

Settle Back and Share

Yesterday we met with a new pediatrician. He was great, a real old fashion doctor's office and pediatric practice, no nurses, nobody else to relay the same story to five times, only him. He writes, he spent years in academia and he loves what he does. It was exactly what it should have been from the beginning.

Most parents have nine months of pregnancy with which they can interview, meet and choose a pediatrician. Something highly I'd recommend. But when your two babies spend only 25 weeks - six months - in there, well, things get pushed aside because there is only so much time in each day. The earliest weeks are a fight for their lives, tests, transfusions, isolettes and when they are finally ready, kangaroo care. Three hours each day that you can just hold them, feel their little hearts beating against yours and share skin contact with these amazing little people that have fought so hard to be here. And most parents are back to work during this time so that they can use that precious maternity leave when their sweet babies are home. Which is a great thing for the parents AND the babies. It can also be a time when family can meet the new babies for the first time. It is a great time for friends and family to help out, cook, clean, lend a hand even hold a baby if that is what is needed. Sometimes it is nicest for parents if the help is focused on chores rather than holding, diapering and feeding because they have been sharing all of that with nurses and are excited to do it themselves.

If there is a nanny entering the picture, like me, this is an amazing opportunity to get to know one another better. Personal histories, relationships, likes and dislikes, it all builds communication and trust and aids in bonding. I love the first few weeks of this so much. With each family I have enjoyed it more. My current position, opportunity number sixteen, has been the best by far. Both Roger and Sara have spent time just talking with me as well as Norah (she spent the first week here as the babies came home sooner than expected and I was finishing with my last family). But as it comes to an end, I'm always ready.

I'm not sure whether I begin to distance myself because I know the end is near or whether it just starts to get annoying. There is no way to separate the two. In this case Roger and Sara aren't the ones I'm ready to get space from, grandmommie is. She's been visiting for nearly three weeks now. And while she is extremely kind, pleasant and caring, she's started pushing my buttons a bit. But, she leaves on Monday, and I can handle that.

In other news Early Intervention (EI) came today to evaluate the tomatoes. Jackson, who always seems a bit ahead of Tabitha, physically, wanted nothing to do with the EI people. He just wanted to sleep and actually fell asleep during the assessment. Tabitha on the other hand (to be fair she had the better person,Jackson's was dull and reserved) performed better than ever. She couldn't do everything she was asked but she was a great sport and made it through the entire assessment. We had to wake both of them for it. Next week they will return with a plan of action (called an Individualized Family Service Plan, IFSP) for each baby.

Which brings me back to the pediatrician. As much as I enjoyed the experiemce of meeting with this new person, I detested each moment I had to spend with the last. He was young, cocky and absent-minded. Not at all worth my sweet tomatoes (seems silly but everyone wants a chance to work with them because they were 25 weekers). Let's hope these Early Intervention people don't disappoint me because nanny or not I wield a pretty big pull from where I stand.

Until next time.

31 weekers lost, 25 weekers found

As promised, update, specifics and daily routine - but not in that order.

Our daily routine looks a lot like yours would if you've had or have a newborn. We eat every three hours, burp every ounce (20 ml/cc) and then sleep. If either of the babies has any energy after all of the eating, sleeping, burping and diaper-filling then it is directed to just before a feed. This way we aren't over stimulating them or taking away any opportunities for them to sleep.

Being preemies they need to sleep as much as they need to eat. It is very important for them to sleep in every cycle and hopefully get into that deep sleep where they will release their growth hormone.

Just how premature are they? My little tomatoes, Jackson and Tabitha, were born at 25 weeks 5 days gestation. They were three months early. They missed 1/3 of their womb time. And not only did they survive but - BUT they are thriving!!! We are all very grateful.

The first thing most people are interested in is weight. Jackson was 1 lb. 15 oz at birth, Tabitha was 1lb 15 oz at birth. As of this morning Jackson is 9 lb. 9 oz and Tabitha is 10 lb. 14 oz! They are doing wonderfully. We are one month and two days past their due date today. They are four months actual age and one month corrected age.

Recently Norah assessed them using the Bayley [Scales of Infant Development]. They scored remarkably well. Their gross motor was delayed, tested at their corrected ages, but everything else - including fine motor skills - tested much closer to or right at their actual ages. Cognitive was their highest, Hooray! They each scored within one point of each other, Jackson scoring that tiny bit higher.

As you can tell the new family is wonderful. Roger and Sara are highly educated, open-minded and intelligent. I enjoy working with them, helping with ideas, routines and changes, even just chatting with them. While it wasn't a long-awaited change, finishing with my last family and starting fresh has been so much better than I could have hoped.

The last family had 31 week preemie twins, also boy-girl. Madison and Addison were amazing but Clover and Stephen's expectations were a tad low. While I was there we maximized their intelligence, interactions, growth and development. Within days of my leaving they were different children. The two years I spent there since their arrival home were lost in a matter of 72 hours. Madison and Addison were so demanding, slimy and cranky the last time I saw them that I'm having trouble missing them at all. The broccoli-loving-toddlers that I loved and remember are far from the tired-drooly-fit-throwers they are today. It is very disappointing because I work so hard to educate the parents as well as the children.

What is done is done. I can move on.

Time to finish for today, but a quick update/recap.
New job is great. Jackson and Tabitha are great. I am great.
New place is nice, mostly organized and comfortable.
Norah is pretty good. She had her 1st therapy client today. (very, very exciting as she is only in the beginning of her second year as a PsyD student)
And Basel is good. He's learning to swim! Funniest thing ever!

More tomorrow - until then.

Transition into Awareness

August was the month of transition.

My new tomatoes (charges) came home from the hospital. Norah and I took a vacation. We moved (HOORAY!). And, and, I STARTED A NEW JOB.

There has been so much on my plate that I shied from blogging because who really wants to hear about what I do and what I'm up to? It seems silly. Then yesterday I came across "Preemie" magazine. Inside I found articles and more advertisements than you would believe for crap no parent needs. Then, this morning, I came across a personal story. This parent of 27 weekers was sharing their experience so far, their boy-girl twins are now toddlers. Honestly, I was eating it up! The bed-rest, birth, NIC, coming home, growth, development, and so on. And it really made me think. While what I'm doing may seem old hat to me, there are others, nannies, parents, caregivers, extended family, etc, that are just starting this journey. It looks different from where ever one stands in life. Who am I to keep the good, the bad and the binky to myself? I LOVE what I do. I enjoy sharing tips, ideas and insights, why shouldn't I blog?

Next installment; new family specifics, daily routine and update.
Until next time.



UPDATE: For a long time, my blog wasn't really noticed. A handful of people around the world probably stumble upon it and read a bit. Nothing regular or noteworthy. Then I made a post that annoyed a preemie mom, I'm not sure what she was really angry with because she has read most of my blog. Maybe she was having a bad day and that post hit her wrong. Whatever her reasoning she has started a personal crusade against me, pretty much telling other moms that I am the devil.

She wasn't here, I blog summaries and she can't possibly know what happened enough to deem me the devil. Because of her a lot of the personalization of this blog has been lost. It is sad, but some people need to attack others to make themselves feel better. I don't know her or her situation just as she doesn't know me or mine. Having a preemie doesn't explain everything, these tomatoes are happy, healthy, thriving little babies and nothing I've done has jeopardized that, on the contrary, I have given more of myself to this family than any other nanny I know. She's allowed to have her opinions and I mine, no one person should assume they know everything about a person because they've read something that person has written. Look athow much was written by Shakespeare. (of course I'm no Shakespeare, but you get the idea.)

Napping around the house.

Jackson and Tabitha love sleeping on a blanket on the floor. They are so relaxed being together and so sweet just calmly sleeping wherever I am. It is a true treat and definite job perk.

Tummy Time

Trying to do a little tummy time when we can. Poor Tabitha has such a large nogin that it's really tough for her. Jackson's nogin is smaller but he's still so little that even lifting it half an inch is a lot of work.

Lots O'Shots

And not the kind that burn your throat either, the kind that poke your thighs. Poor little tomatoes sweet little thighs. They each have two huge bandaids across their little legs. It makes them look tinier. Poor Jackson and Tabitha!

Regular Day

Both babies are growing everyday. Tabitha enjoys her pacifier more but Jackson still isn't too interested. Neither can really keep it in for more than a few seconds.

Prop me up, asleep I go!

Tabitha, the adorable tomato, sat propped up today in the movable crib. She was adorable just hanging out in there while I finished giving Jackson his bottle. She was so content surrounded by toys and blankets that she fell asleep! It was adorable and she looked so teeny in that huge, it's actually half normal crib size, bed. Such a sweet tomato!

Tight Fit

The tomatoes are getting bigger! Sitting them in the bouncer together is getting a little more complicated. Their bodies are getting stronger and their limbs stronger. They seem happy and are definitely healthy. Hooray for Jackson and Tabitha!

Birthday Party

During the last five years I've noticed a trend, food obsession. Most parents used to feed their kids at mealtimes unless the family was more of the eat-all-day type. Either way families were pretty consistent in their chosen manner of eating. Lately that isn't the case. I've seen more and more families obsessing over food. Yes, I understand that preemies need to eat and grow, but like any person they also need opportunities to figure out their bodies, boundaries and preferences.

Today we went to Madison and Addison birthday celebration. Madison has always been the smaller of the two, she is petite and thin, and of course, completely adorable, big eyes, round cheeks, a little tummy and a spunky little personality. Having spent the better part of two years watching her eat and grow I know that the girl can eat. Sometimes I'd wonder if she had a hollow leg, seriously, this girl can eat, when she wants to. When she doesn't want to, you know it.

When we arrived Clover was chasing her around the house with food, trying to get Madison to eat. Both grandmommies were following them with Addison being their biggest fan, if he'd been taking pictures you could have labeled him aggressive paparazzi! And poor little Madison couldn't escape.

At some point every parent needs to give their child some space. Eating and toileting should be a given, but as I've noticed, they have become battlegrounds ready for verbal attack from both sides.

Ahh, Saturday!

Lovely Saturday spent with Norah and Basel.
Ahh the weekend!

Growing.

Jackson and Tabitha are growing! Grandmommie brought them gifts, and tiny colds, and they don't all fit! They used to be unable to wear anything and now somethings don't fit!!! Hooray!

Floor Snoozing

With all of the activity around here, everyone is a little tired. Went to check up on Jackson today and found he and Roger asleep on the floor! They are too cute!

Grandmommie Visits

Jackson and Tabitha spent some time with their maternal grandmommie today. She was thrilled to see them so much bigger and adorable. Her plane ride was so long and we were all extra careful about germ-transfer when she arrived. She'll be here for nearly a month! Roger is starting back to work now and Sara plans to as this month comes to a close.

Lots of activity and excitement around here!

Two in One

Back to work today. Can you believe it has been six years? Wow.

Today I swaddled Jackson and Tabitha together and they snoozed in the bouncer, together. I know it won't be long until they need seperate bouncers, but for now their sweet little tomato selves really enjoy the closeness and snuggles.

Water Balloons!

Norah, being the amazing wife that she is, trotted off to the market and bought us more water balloons!

The kids, excuse me, youth and I went through 200 water balloons!
(of course we picked up every.single.broken.piece.of.balloon before we left our campsite.

Camping

Norah and I joined the high school youth for our annual camping trip.
We had two new high schoolers this year who were just as great to hang out with as seasoned campers.

Family Photograph

I cornered them today! Roger and Sara have both been home since Jackson and Tabitha have bee home, but it is hard to get them all together. Finally, today, I did it. Got all four of them to sit down for a family photo. Of course it turned out beautiful! But then again, they are a beautiful family.

Lines on the Feet

Today I took a wonderful picture of a baby foot. No, seriously. It's awesome. There's a reason. Some preemies are born before they get those little lines on their hands and feet. This picture has them - finally! My little tomatoes are finally getting their lines!! Grow tomatoes! Grow!

Matchy-Matchy

Today I was naughty. I dressed Jackson and Tabitha alike. Their paternal grandmommie sent these adorable overalls, character based, so not my style, for them. They are growing so well that I was worried they'd grow out of them before we got a picture of them together.

Moved In, kind of.

Norah and I moved the last of our stuff into the new place today. I don't know where it's all going to go. We only have one closet in the entire apartment!!!

The Chickens

So great to see Madison and Addison, my 31 weekers today.

Twins and Twins

Today I took Madison and Addison to meet Jackson and Tabitha at Sara's request. We had a lovely picnic outside and everyone seemed to have a good time. I was a little tense though, Jackson and Tabitha are only a few months old, both born so early and so susceptible to infection right now. But, not even having started with working for them yet, I shouldn't be giving parenting advice. Right? I just made sure that Madison and Addison didn't get too close to Jackson and Tabitha with their two year old germs, snacks and signs of love.

New School

Today I met Clover and Stephen at Madison and Addison's new school. I have to be honest, I was a little disappointed. I know that it is going to be slightly expensive and they are going to be there everyday. Having worked at two preschools and a day care I know what I like, I also know that I have high standards and want my little chickens to have the best. This was not all I'd hoped. But Clover seems to like it so who am I to complain? Madison and Addison will do fine wherever they go, right? (reassure me, right?!)

Coming to an End

Madison and Addison and I went to the science museum today. It is one of their favorite activities but I generally save it for their Pop-Pop and Mam-Mee. They love taking them. But, as our time is nearly at an end, we need a few more memories, Pop-Pop and Mam_Mee get them for the rest of their lives, I only get a few more days with the chickens I've spent each week with since they came home from the hospital two years ago. 4400 hours together and people think nannies aren't important. I'm not saying I've had a lasting impact on them, I'd love to think so, but I know better.

I spent three years with Zander. She was a newborn when I started, her brother Rowan was a toddler, she was collicy and he was the apple of Beckett's, his mother's eye. I arrived and was handed little Zander so that Beckett could spend some quality time with Rowen, mind you I'm not knocking this, mothers NEED this. But little Zander didn't need to be away from Beckett for 60+ hours each week. Three years at 60+ hours a week, sometimes more, 9360 hours I spent with that little girl. When I left she was well-rounded, content, spunky, fun and well-mannered, and a light reflection of me. Now? She's the spitting image of Beckett. Yo would never know that I spent more than an hour with the girl except for the way she responds to me, emails, hugs and loves to be around me.

I know that nannies don't really have a long term effect on kids, not like parents, but think about the nanny. About her life. Those 9000+ hours? They have shaped my life. Those 4000+ hours? Have affected me, who I am, the way I see things. Every family affects me, every family changes me just a little. And, if I'm good enough, I change them, jut a little I help the parents see things just a tiny bit differently. I love my work but it isn't easy, it's so much harder caring for someone else's kids than for your own.

Chicken (plural) worries.

They are so cute!!
The chickens are going to be going to preschool and I won't get to see them four days a week. How will they handle it? How will I handle it/ I'm starting to get a little worried, I don't want to think it will be anything but wonderful, but what if it isn't? What if, oh I hate to think it let alone write it, what if... they can't sleep at school? And they tired all of the time and never really have any fun? We have so much fun together, Madison is so tiny and such a good little sleeper, I'd hate for her growth to slow because she can't sleep. Oh the chickens!

Back to Work

Yep, we are, back to work.

Norah and I both get to spend the day with Jackson and Tabitha, it was great, crowded, but great. They are adorable little tomatoes and I love sharing them with their happy, sleep-deprived, loving parents!

Last Sunset

Tonight we watched the sunset on our last full day of vacation.
Why oh why does it have to end?

Dinner and a Hottie

If only you knew how hot my wife is! Tonight we did (another) fancy dinner. I love being seen out with Norah, she is truly beautiful. Again I ask, does this vacation really need to end?!

Still Scootering!

Beaches, historical sites and time together - can we vacation forever?!

Scooter Power!

We rented a scooter today!! It was very thrilling. I've never driven a scooter before but I learned and drove Norah and I all over! Sadly the rain poured down on us but it just made our vacation all the more adventurous! I love Norah!

Exploring

Off exploring today! Norah and I are going to check out some local history.
We're still loving our vacation!

Yippee-Hooray!!

Loving our vacation, time together, no dog and no kids!!

Yippee-Hooray!!

Vacation!

We're on vacation!!!!

Norah and I are taking a more needed, much earned and worthwhile vacation - just-the-two-of-us!!
She's finished her time with Cameron and will start with Jackson and Tabitha while I'm finishing with Madison and Addison after which she's off to school and I'm on the job!

Derek visits

Derek, Norah's brother, visited today. He hadn't seen our new place yet. I think he liked it...he's a tad competitive and I think what he really liked is that ours is smaller than his and Amy's. Oh well, I like ours better.

Swim, Swam, Swum - we sure had fun!

Such an amazing day!

Even though they can't swim, at all, we took Addison, Cameron and Madison swimming today. It was a great way to beat the heat! They love going swimming so much. We let them play on the big stairs. Addison loves it more than the other two. They will get in a bit, to humor us, then get out and play with shovels and pails on the side of the pool. As long as each of them cools off we don't make anyone swim. One day they will all be interested, it doesn't have to happen right now.

two-year-old-day

Today was another two-year-old-day. There aren't very many left and each one is special. They love playing together and I love spending time with Norah. When I start with Jackson and Tabitha she'll be finished nannying. It is very exciting and a little sad at the same time. We make a great team Norah and I, we've nannied together for nearly a decade (hard to believe I'm old enough to say that!).

Tomatoes Nestle

Jackson and Tabitha have spent so much time apart since they were born. I love putting them together.

Right now they sleep, a lot, so getting them together generally ends up in a nap. But they both really seem to calm, relax and enjoy the other's company. They are such sweet little tomatoes!

Party in the Nursery!!

What a busy day!
Today we had seven people in Jackson and Tabitha's nursery! Roger and Sara, Norah, me and the lactation consultant. It was definitely a full house! And what a gift! The lactation consultant came as a gift from friends, very thoughtful indeed.

Rainy visit to Museum

Another big day for us with Madison, Addison and Cameron. Today we packed their three, massive, car seats in for a trip to a new museum. The drive was long and the crowd was pretentious, but the kids seemed to like the museum. I was less than impressed, Norah the same, but it was a good day with the chickens and tiger all in great moods despite the rain.

playground morning

We, Norah and I, okay, mostly I, love taking the two year olds to the playground. I love dressing them appropriately, packing a snack, talking it up and then just letting them play. Watching them try new things, test their limits and just relax with each other really makes my day. They are stronger, smarter, faster and more creative everyday. I'm really going to miss them when I start with Jackson and Tabitha - but I'm looking forward to new babies very much.

Tiger-riffic!

Cameron can be so damn cute! Often the kid pushes my buttons like nobody's business, but wow, he's such a doll when he wants to be!

Ducky Visit

Norah and I took Madison and Addison to the park today to get some pictures of the three of us together. I think Norah underestimates her photography skills. Neither Madison nor Addison was really in the mood for a photo shoot but we still have some great pictures from today. I love those little chickens!

I've got no stitches...

Basel is back to his old self - happy, stitch free drama-dog that he is!
Damn, but we love him!

Stitches out - finally!

Basel is getting his stitches out today!!! His bandage has gotten so dirty and torn up, despite our best efforts. I think we'll take him out for a good long run after.

Meeting Jackson and Tabitha

Today we met the new twins!!!

Roger and Sara invited Norah and I to the hospital to meet Jackson and Tabitha. Remembering how tiny Madison and Addison were I tried to prepare Norah for what the visit would be like. Boy was I wrong!! Jackson and Tabitha were beautiful, perfect babies! They didn't look like preemies at all. Definitely not the twins that had missed an entire trimester in utero that I'd expected. I can't wait to start working with them!

Three in the back!

I love packing all three of the kids carseats into the backseat. they are all so cute tucked in there together! They sit three across - I love our car!!!

MFA Boston

What a great morning!
There is an Edward Hopper exhibit at our MFA right now and we jumped on the opportunity to take Madison, Addison and Cameron to see it. Because we don't use strollers anymore, ever, at all, we had no trouble maneuvering through the crowd, and there was a crowd, but it was great! The kids were exhausted by the end but they all really enjoy the MFA. You wouldn't believe it of two year olds, but it's true!

Country's 1st Public Library

Norah and I took Cameron and the Twins to the big public library today. They were so well-behaved and impressed!
I probably haven't mentioned it, but Addison loves to read. Cameron and Madison enjoyed following him around.

Visiting the new digs!

New job site for Norah! Of course she posed out front for me, my wife is excellent!

She's kissing me!

Sisterly love!

Twins are so sweet with their kisses for each other and their responses to one another! Today I asked Madison if she'd give Addison a kiss while I took a picture. she jumped at the chance and he was all smiles about it!

Our 9th!

Norah and I are celebrating our ninth anniversary but Basel was the one to get a visitor! Sylvia even brought him treats!

Norah cooking away!

Norah loves cooking in our new kitchen too!

Potty Frustrations

Cameron, Norah's charge, insists he didn't have an accident. Meanwhile there's a puddle of "water" surrounding his bottom. Hmmm....are we sure he's not making up stories?!

Had I mentioned that Cameron is the same age as Madison and Addison? They love to play together.

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Animal Hospital/Doggie Stitches

Poor Basel had to get stitches today!
All drugged out he's sleeping now.
Our sweet Basel!

Duckies!!

Today Madison and Addison tried to upstage one-another. It was so funny! First Madison hugged momma duck with all of her might. Then Addison leaned over and gave one of the baby ducks a snuzzle, as if to say, hey, take my picture! I'm cute too!

Rainy ride home.

Driving home from NYC was very wet and rainy - but we had a great drive. I love to drive!

Sunday

After birthday wanderings through NYC.

Happy 29th Norah!

Happy Birthday Norah!!!

Afternoon Off

Madison & Addison's mommy Clover came home early today to take the kiddies to visit with friends. There was lots of activity and drama and loads of cuteness, as usual!

Kitchen

I love our new kitchen!

It's neat, tidy and so convenient!
The granite countertops, stainless steel appliances and our awesome appliances, gifts from my employer - thank you mommy Clover! - make it a joy to cook in!

Moving

View from our new place.

Me? A domestic goat?

Not quite a goat, although I do spend my days as a nanny. It can get interesting or be mundane. I am observed often and occasionally judged on the same traits as a goat. Those relating to conformation, udder quality, evidence of high production/ longevity, build/muscling as measured through endurance.

photo of life

2004 & 2008 comparison

Growing Up (photo comparison)

2003 & 2007 comparison

Just a picture comparison.

2001 & 2007 comparison

Just a photo post.