Synergis shots went fine this morning. Sadly Jackson has not gained any weight. Luckily he hasn't lost any either. According to the doctor [idiot] this can't possibly be behavioral and they need to take him to a GI doctor, again. He's been before and had lots of tests, x-rays and the works with no reported problems. It doesn't make sense that it can't possibly be behavioral yet it is worse depending on the feeder.
I think the doctor wanted to make Roger and Sara feel better. His job is more than measuring and weighing and giving kids shots, it's reassuring parents and helping them feel effective and nurtured when they need it. I took his remark personally and I shouldn't have. Because I did I found loads of studies, research and findings to support my opinion. I'm validated but I don't need to tell Roger and Sara, we'll get through this as we've gotten through each thing in the past.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Prematurity Awareness Month
November is Prematurity Awareness Month, the time of year when the March of Dimes brings special attention to the fight against premature births and other serious threats to infant health. Prematurity is the number one killer of newborns.
My tomatoes were especially premature and especially lucky. Most babies born as early as Jackson and Tabitha lead different lives, not lesser lives, different. They are just as special as the tomatoes and possibly more amazing. Here are a couple of my favorite preemies to watch grow and develop, aren't they most darling girls? And their parents are tough and adorable - a winning combination!
I blog to share with people my experiences as a nanny, not to represent preemies everywhere. All babies, families and situations are different. I blogged about Prematurity Awareness for that reason - to raise awareness.
My tomatoes were especially premature and especially lucky. Most babies born as early as Jackson and Tabitha lead different lives, not lesser lives, different. They are just as special as the tomatoes and possibly more amazing. Here are a couple of my favorite preemies to watch grow and develop, aren't they most darling girls? And their parents are tough and adorable - a winning combination!
I blog to share with people my experiences as a nanny, not to represent preemies everywhere. All babies, families and situations are different. I blogged about Prematurity Awareness for that reason - to raise awareness.
LateNight and SnuggleNaps
Yesterday was a VERY long day.
It started with such possibility. The tomatoes slept until 10:45am, when I finally woke them. I seriously hate waking anyone, especially babies, I think sleep is so important. But they needed to wake up with enough hours left in the day to fit four more bottles in.
Jackson, with his feeding frustrations, does best when the bottles are evenly spaced. But with waking up so late they ate later, this put their next two bottles pretty close together. Let's add Sara being there hovering to take in every aspect of how I feed Jackson (she just wants it to get better and if she can learn something that might work, she's willing to put in the effort), both Jackson and Tabitha being exhausted because after sleeping in so late their morning nap was tiny equals Jackson's tolerance being very low and him eating a bit less than usual. But pretty good.
Then the housekeepers came late. Sara was home to take a nap and we were pretty much shoved out the door to take a walk. I'm not complaining about the walk, I LOVE walking. Our location lends to visual interest and diversity. But my babies were tired before we started. They snoozed on the walk but nothing more than a fifteen minute stretch each. By the time our evening snuggle-nap* rolled around they were toast!
Exhaustion and feeding Jackson do not mix. Given the choice this tomoato would choose sleep over food in a heartbeat. So his evening bottle, with Roger and Sara both hovering over my every breath (what can I say? They are trying.), didn't go as well as I would have liked. An ideal bottle for Jackson is 200mL/cc. In the evening he takes between 30-60mL/cc for Roger and Sara. Last night for me he took around 160mL/cc. So he did alright. I wish I could say that I'm steadfast and what I do always works, but I'm can't. I do my best and sometimes it's just not as good as I'd like.
I believe in sleep and encourage it like crazy, but babies need to eat. Jackson needs to eat. Tomorrow Jackson and Tabitha go to get their 1st RSV shots. They will weigh them and as long as Jackson is growing we don't need to worry.
*Snuggle-nap; evenings are tough for many babies. Some call this period the 'witching hour' and it generally falls between 4-9pm. No matter what they do during the day my babies are tired around 4:30pm but have a tough time falling asleep. Because Roger and Sara won't regularly put them to bed in the evening we cannot establish a catnap. Our compromise/balance for this is a sling-nap when I'm there and when Roger and Sara are home one holds Jackson while he naps and they let Tabitha fall asleep in the swing for a short nap. I put on the sling, add one baby at a time then rock in the rocking chair for 30 minutes to an hour. Ideally they both sleep, if not they benefit from the body contact, being close to each other, navigating tight space with their twin and calm relaxation. On really great days they both fall asleep early on and as I rock I doze with them. But it is just as nice when one of them just looks around and touches the other during sleep. There's no crying during this time and we all enjoy the snuggle.
It started with such possibility. The tomatoes slept until 10:45am, when I finally woke them. I seriously hate waking anyone, especially babies, I think sleep is so important. But they needed to wake up with enough hours left in the day to fit four more bottles in.
Jackson, with his feeding frustrations, does best when the bottles are evenly spaced. But with waking up so late they ate later, this put their next two bottles pretty close together. Let's add Sara being there hovering to take in every aspect of how I feed Jackson (she just wants it to get better and if she can learn something that might work, she's willing to put in the effort), both Jackson and Tabitha being exhausted because after sleeping in so late their morning nap was tiny equals Jackson's tolerance being very low and him eating a bit less than usual. But pretty good.
Then the housekeepers came late. Sara was home to take a nap and we were pretty much shoved out the door to take a walk. I'm not complaining about the walk, I LOVE walking. Our location lends to visual interest and diversity. But my babies were tired before we started. They snoozed on the walk but nothing more than a fifteen minute stretch each. By the time our evening snuggle-nap* rolled around they were toast!
Exhaustion and feeding Jackson do not mix. Given the choice this tomoato would choose sleep over food in a heartbeat. So his evening bottle, with Roger and Sara both hovering over my every breath (what can I say? They are trying.), didn't go as well as I would have liked. An ideal bottle for Jackson is 200mL/cc. In the evening he takes between 30-60mL/cc for Roger and Sara. Last night for me he took around 160mL/cc. So he did alright. I wish I could say that I'm steadfast and what I do always works, but I'm can't. I do my best and sometimes it's just not as good as I'd like.
I believe in sleep and encourage it like crazy, but babies need to eat. Jackson needs to eat. Tomorrow Jackson and Tabitha go to get their 1st RSV shots. They will weigh them and as long as Jackson is growing we don't need to worry.
*Snuggle-nap; evenings are tough for many babies. Some call this period the 'witching hour' and it generally falls between 4-9pm. No matter what they do during the day my babies are tired around 4:30pm but have a tough time falling asleep. Because Roger and Sara won't regularly put them to bed in the evening we cannot establish a catnap. Our compromise/balance for this is a sling-nap when I'm there and when Roger and Sara are home one holds Jackson while he naps and they let Tabitha fall asleep in the swing for a short nap. I put on the sling, add one baby at a time then rock in the rocking chair for 30 minutes to an hour. Ideally they both sleep, if not they benefit from the body contact, being close to each other, navigating tight space with their twin and calm relaxation. On really great days they both fall asleep early on and as I rock I doze with them. But it is just as nice when one of them just looks around and touches the other during sleep. There's no crying during this time and we all enjoy the snuggle.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Early to Bed
Tonight I'm staying late so that Roger and Sara can meet with some like-minded folks and do some filming. In preparation for my long day today I planned to get to bed early last night, really early. Norah and I rushed home and immediately started dinner.
As we were finishing I received a call from Roger, Jackson was refusing to eat again.
Sara was exhausted from trying.
Jackson and Tabitha were already in bed.
Roger's reason for calling was to see if anything, anything was different during Jackson's feeds during the day.
As I had told him before I left his house an hour earlier, Jackson had a great day. Ate wonderfully. He possibly had an even better time eating than previously. I didn't know what the problem was.
Roger continued, pushed, rephrased the same question, asked multiple times.
I repeated myself, tried to remain calm and not push, although he was pushing like crazy.
Finally, I told him that although I couldn't offer any insight into Jackson's feed, I suggested they not start the 9pm feeding cycle again. If Jackson didn't want to eat, then don't keep offering him food all night.
Of course this frustrated Roger and he basically said that they'd feed him if he wanted to eat.
I told him that if Jackson thinks he can make it until the next feed why would he invest himself in this bottle?
Roger tells me, for the second time in a month,
"Samara, I don't believe Jackson 'thinks' about anything. He's smart but not that smart."
Norah reminds me to breathe.
I star again,
"Roger, you can choose what you'd like to do, I'm not telling you that you need to starve Jackson. But I think this is behavioral and feeding him again tonight will encourage him t repeat this routine tomorrow night."
"Samara, I doubt this is behavioral. You and I both know all those behavioral ideas are good in theory but when it comes down to it we need to follow our baby."
"We do follow the babies. When Tabitha needs to eat, we feed her. We adjust what we offer them, but I believe it IS behavioral because he doesn't do it during the day. You've given him the option to eat, now let him sleep."
"I know he doesn't do it during the day. That suggests we are doing something wrong..."
Okay, stop. This was where I reassured him, told him that didn't have to be the case and that it could be a habit they've all formed together. Parents have such a tough time, there is so much uncertaintity and doubt. It is not my job to add to this. I want to guide them and build their confidence. Parenting isn't easy and I never lie to my parents, but telling them they are the problem, true or not, when they are feeling terrible, out of control and like they are losing hope, Never helped anyone. I will continue to encourage them in the direction that I know works. they will continue to hear my perspective and choose. In this we will find a balance that best benefits these babies.
After all of this Jackson decided to sleep all night. Roger and Sara would have rested and started over today but Miss Tabitha decided 1am was playtime. She, Roger and Sara were up until 4am. I'm not sure what all of this is about but my gut tells me both Jackson and Tabitha are very smart and they are testing Roger and Sara. We'll see how this all plays out. Tonight I'm putting them to bed.
As we were finishing I received a call from Roger, Jackson was refusing to eat again.
Sara was exhausted from trying.
Jackson and Tabitha were already in bed.
Roger's reason for calling was to see if anything, anything was different during Jackson's feeds during the day.
As I had told him before I left his house an hour earlier, Jackson had a great day. Ate wonderfully. He possibly had an even better time eating than previously. I didn't know what the problem was.
Roger continued, pushed, rephrased the same question, asked multiple times.
I repeated myself, tried to remain calm and not push, although he was pushing like crazy.
Finally, I told him that although I couldn't offer any insight into Jackson's feed, I suggested they not start the 9pm feeding cycle again. If Jackson didn't want to eat, then don't keep offering him food all night.
Of course this frustrated Roger and he basically said that they'd feed him if he wanted to eat.
I told him that if Jackson thinks he can make it until the next feed why would he invest himself in this bottle?
Roger tells me, for the second time in a month,
"Samara, I don't believe Jackson 'thinks' about anything. He's smart but not that smart."
Norah reminds me to breathe.
I star again,
"Roger, you can choose what you'd like to do, I'm not telling you that you need to starve Jackson. But I think this is behavioral and feeding him again tonight will encourage him t repeat this routine tomorrow night."
"Samara, I doubt this is behavioral. You and I both know all those behavioral ideas are good in theory but when it comes down to it we need to follow our baby."
"We do follow the babies. When Tabitha needs to eat, we feed her. We adjust what we offer them, but I believe it IS behavioral because he doesn't do it during the day. You've given him the option to eat, now let him sleep."
"I know he doesn't do it during the day. That suggests we are doing something wrong..."
Okay, stop. This was where I reassured him, told him that didn't have to be the case and that it could be a habit they've all formed together. Parents have such a tough time, there is so much uncertaintity and doubt. It is not my job to add to this. I want to guide them and build their confidence. Parenting isn't easy and I never lie to my parents, but telling them they are the problem, true or not, when they are feeling terrible, out of control and like they are losing hope, Never helped anyone. I will continue to encourage them in the direction that I know works. they will continue to hear my perspective and choose. In this we will find a balance that best benefits these babies.
After all of this Jackson decided to sleep all night. Roger and Sara would have rested and started over today but Miss Tabitha decided 1am was playtime. She, Roger and Sara were up until 4am. I'm not sure what all of this is about but my gut tells me both Jackson and Tabitha are very smart and they are testing Roger and Sara. We'll see how this all plays out. Tonight I'm putting them to bed.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Today's Public Blog-o-vision
Yesterday was a rather perfect day, as far as days go. The tomatoes napped beautifully, ate ideally and playtime was relaxed but fun. We took a nice long walk and met this wonderful older lady who told me all about her two adult sons. One's a surgon and the other a lawyer. She raised them alone and was very proud to talk about them. The especially nice part was that although she knew I wasn't their mother, she asked, she asked about their mother, remarked on how beautiful the babies were and told me that it is important work I'm doing. It was very kind of her and I appreciated it.
Today has been a little choppier as far as naps go but with such awesome naps yesterday they likely have extra energy today. I'm glad the rain has stopped and we'll get another nice walk later this afternoon.
In other news, I can't stop thinking about getting pregnant. I'm dying to get started and be on that road. I love kids, parenting and Norah so much. We make a great team and I want us to have our family for Christmas. Maybe by next Thanksgiving.
Today's post is brought to you by the number 5, the letter B, for baby of course!
Today has been a little choppier as far as naps go but with such awesome naps yesterday they likely have extra energy today. I'm glad the rain has stopped and we'll get another nice walk later this afternoon.
In other news, I can't stop thinking about getting pregnant. I'm dying to get started and be on that road. I love kids, parenting and Norah so much. We make a great team and I want us to have our family for Christmas. Maybe by next Thanksgiving.
Today's post is brought to you by the number 5, the letter B, for baby of course!
Monday, November 12, 2007
Hooray!!! Back at work!
I couldn't help myself, I had to dress them extra matchy-matchy today. Aren't they sweet? You can't see them, but they really are.
I'm back at work today! I'm so happy!
Last night I was dancing around singing, I'm go-ing to work to-morrow. I'm go-ing to work to-morrow.
It is a good day. It is sunny and crisp and beautiful. I'm so glad to be back to work.
The tomatoes are good. Their hands and feet have really grown. I hope that means they will be tall and not be held back because they were so premature. Starting life at less than two pounds each, you continually wonder how they will grow and develop. How long will they play catch up. I know that they should be caught up by three years old, but they missed and entire trimester in the womb. That is a lot to miss.
Of course, being back to work after missing five days, two were the weekend, comes with consequences. Jackson is having a tough time eating and feels thinner. Very worrisome. And Sara says Tabitha isn't napping for very long at once. I'm not sure if Sara thinks this is a good thing or not. I'm definitely a supporter of longer deeper sleeps over shorter, lighter ones. I'll keep you posted as the week progresses. Right now Jackson is having trouble turning over at the 45 minute mark, tired little tomato!
I'm back at work today! I'm so happy!
Last night I was dancing around singing, I'm go-ing to work to-morrow. I'm go-ing to work to-morrow.
It is a good day. It is sunny and crisp and beautiful. I'm so glad to be back to work.
The tomatoes are good. Their hands and feet have really grown. I hope that means they will be tall and not be held back because they were so premature. Starting life at less than two pounds each, you continually wonder how they will grow and develop. How long will they play catch up. I know that they should be caught up by three years old, but they missed and entire trimester in the womb. That is a lot to miss.
Of course, being back to work after missing five days, two were the weekend, comes with consequences. Jackson is having a tough time eating and feels thinner. Very worrisome. And Sara says Tabitha isn't napping for very long at once. I'm not sure if Sara thinks this is a good thing or not. I'm definitely a supporter of longer deeper sleeps over shorter, lighter ones. I'll keep you posted as the week progresses. Right now Jackson is having trouble turning over at the 45 minute mark, tired little tomato!
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