Reflux Theory.

Alright, I'm not going to make any friends with this post, but so far, despite any efforts on my part, I've made few friends with my opinions. This blog is not for anyone else. It is for me. To chronical my days, help me make better sense of my experiences and if it can help others BONUS. If it make you angry then it is your choice not to read it. 

Reflux.

Over the last five years I've encountered 500x more reflux than I did during my first five years of nannying. This makes sense as reflux cases are on the rise. There are literally more cases of reflux now than there were ten years ago. 

Right now, I'm taking care of twins, Jackson and Tabitha. Both born at 25 weeks, both the same size at birth and both adorable. Only one has reflux. Jackson spits a lot.  Tabitha spits the normal amount but it never affects her eating, attitude or growth. Jackson is smaller because of the amount that comes back out. He has trouble with some feedings and at time refuses to eat at all. 

This was also the case with Madison and Addison. Little Miss Madison is tiny, she spit a lot and ate significantly less. Food was always an issue with her, bottles were a struggle and weight gain was slow.

Before them there were another set of twins, just like Jackson and Tabitha, where the little guy had pretty bad reflux. A set of identical twins that also had tough reflux without the weight gain issues. And a sibling pair, not twins, Ethan and Ava who both seemed to suffer from reflux.

Of course after seven children with reflux issues, all different gestations, locations, different people, I've seen similarities. I see one particular stereotype with Jackson regularly. I've verbalized this to Roger and Sara to be poo-poo'd and have it forgotten/disregarded. Yesterday though, it was pretty blatant.

The more tired Jackson becomes, the more he spits. I've noticed this on many occasions. Roger believes the spitting comes from quantity, position, activity, excitement, many other things, but that it isn't predictable and/or avoidable. Because Roger is Jackson's father, we get to go with his theories first, always. Fine. I'm a rather patient person.

About a month ago, Jackson was spitting quite a bit. He was also overtired and having trouble sleeping regular, long periods. But don't think about that, his numbers were up. For me he was taking 220 - 240 mL. Roger decided, convinced Sara, this was the problem. They told me to cut Jackson off at 200 mL. Above that was just too much for him. I did and the spitting continued. Because my theory was just that, we continued limiting Jackson's bottles to 200 mL. After two weeks he visited the pediatrician who said that he wasn't getting enough total volume for the day. We needed to increase his over-all quantity. Sara thought about it and decided the only way we could do that would be to let him eat as much as he wanted at each bottle. About a week ago I was allowed to increase his per bottle volume again.

Surprisingly enough, his spitting didn't increase. But on the nights it was huge, he was really tired. Now, the original decision to limit his volume was based on this late evening spitting. Just a side note. There were no large spits during the day when he was well-rested. 

Alright, now you have the background.

Yesterday Jackson decided that I needed to know when he was ready for bed. Apparently I hadn't been responsive enough on his schedule. After his breakfast he played for a few minutes then let out this terrible screaming-cry. It was awful! I told him it was too early for bed and tried to distract him. He wasn't having it. After almost five minutes of trying, I gave up. This cry was truly awful. I took him to bed. He was asleep within seconds and slept for almost two hours, rather unheard of for this morning nap. 

He woke up, hung out, played, got annoyed, but didn't use that painful cry again. He ate his lunch, played more and BAM! there it was again! So, so awful. I looked at the clock, figured this was late enough and put him to bed. Exactly as before, he snuggled in and went to sleep immediately without complaint. 

He slept another two hors and forty five minutes! While a long nap isn't out of the ordinary for my tomatoes, two long naps, right after each other, are. Jackson woke up happy, relaxed and calm. We had a great time playing. He ate and played for another fifty minutes. 

Of course after two amazing naps he was hungry. He took 240 mL twice, also unheard of for our little dude. But no spits. Even dry burps. I'm not sure if you know anyone with reflux, but dry burps and spit-free post bottle sessions are pretty rare. Then, at five o'clock, he did the screamy-cry. It was so bad! But it was five, too late for a nap. I told him, apologized, but I couldn't put him to bed, it was too late. 

Then, it happened. And happened. And happened. He spit and spit and spit. He'd eaten an hour before and hadn't spit at all, but as soon as he'd become over tired, he started spitting. The spitting continued the rest of the night, well, it had lessened just before I left, but it's likely it continued after I left. He took a bath and fell asleep almost immediately. He was so tired.

Ethan, my other little guy with terrible reflux, never slept. Seriously. This little boy broke his leg as a young toddler and spends most of his life sick. He never sleeps. His diet was outstanding but his growth slow and stunted. He was breastfed well into his first year, actually he was closer to two when his mom weaned him, and fed on demand. But he had the worst case of reflux. Then his sister, also breastfed, had trouble with reflux too. 

From my experience, reflux increases as sleep decreases. As the number of average reflux cases has increased the average amount of sleep has decreased. 

Obviously just having a good sleeper doesn't keep your kid from having reflux, but my best sleepers have had the least trouble with reflux. Sleep increases their growth potential, increases mental health and stability, improves their appetites, refreshes and rejuvenates their bodies, improves and increases their attention spans and brain power plus allows their bodies time to just be, what's wrong with just trying?

Mursday

Yep, it's true. I had to do it. I've created a new weekday name, couldn't help myself. It fits perfectly.

This morning was tough, super tough. It was a Monday morning. Cranky, yelling babies, short naps, over-tired fuss-pots who weren't pleased with anything. Of course we just had to deal, so I pushed their bottle a little later and took them for a walk. Both fell asleep immediately and slept soundly the duration of our walk.

Still tired and hungry when they woke up, we plodded through the feeding and off the little tomatoes went for their second naps of the day. After some strong and loud protests both were sound asleep.

And BAM! it became like a Thursday afternoon. 

Both took beautiful naps and woke up in the best moods. 

Better yet, they woke up 25 minutes apart so I actually had the opportunity to enjoy their awesome moods with some relaxed one-on-one. Giggles, smiles and cuteness prevailed and the afternoon was wonderful.

My first Mursday, I love it.

Evening Excitement

We had quite an even this week. A neighbor tried to make a fire in her fireplace and smoked us out! It was pretty rough. I called Roger and Sara to ask about their location and Roger seemed to be trying to tell me that things weren't as serious as I was suggesting. The funny part of this is that I'm at least 60x more relaxed about emergencies than most. Honestly. I approach things calm, cool and collected because if I were to freak out everyone around me would too.

Roger ended up calling me back a minute or two later to try and learn more. Apparently when he'd hung up the phone Sara told him exactly what I just explained to you. She said, "If Samara is calling it's probably pretty serious."

A few minutes later they arrived home and Sara freaked out. Her babies were born pretty early to be risking the health of their lungs over someone's stupidity. 

Apparently this neighbor has done this before. She knew she'd screwed up and unplugged her fire alarms. Our place was full of smoke and she didn't think she should even check on us our mention it. She knows there are two babies here. And I kept telling myself to relax because there wasn't a smoke alarm, it must have been a neighbor using a wood burning stove. 

Sara called 911 while Roger talked with the neighbor. There was a lot of excitement and a lot of drama. The entire place reeks of smoke. They opened everything up despite it only being in the thirties and colder overnight. We had three fire engines here and at least five fire fighters came tromping through the house. There wasn't a fire just lots and lots of smoke. The babies were tired, it was the end of their day, but held up pretty well. Because we visited with another neighbor while the house was aired we got to see something we probably wouldn't have otherwise. Jackson is developing some stranger anxiety. Tabitha not so much. We'll see how it develops. 

For now though, we're all fine, the smoke smell is decreasing and we're all looking forward to a quiet remainder of the week. Hope yours are equally calm, relaxed and uneventful.

 

Shots, weights, sleepy-ones.

Me, I'm one of the sleepy-ones. I'm unbelievably tired today. 

The tomatoes are fine. Both are a bit of today because of their shots. For all of it's benefits, RSV vaccines can really take it out of them. I'm not complaining, I'm just telling you, both Jackson and Tabitha are feeling it today.

They weighed in at 15lb 6oz & 17lb 13oz, Tabitha being the heavyweight champion. She is also taller 27" to Jackson's 25 1/4", both have perfect weight to height ratios though so they are each perfect for themselves. Exactly what we like to see. Jackson still isn't on the chart for his actual age, eight months, but just below, maybe in the 1st percentile, maybe. Tabitha on the other hand is just below the 50th percentile for weight and just above for height. She's measuring up to other eight month olds even though they spent nearly fifteen weeks longer in the womb. Go Tabitha!

Another week almost over, another month of RSV shots and we're all doing great.

Easy Tuesday Post and Update rolled into one!

Lucky for me Norah is bored at work today. She's stuck there waiting with the tomatoes on her mind apparently. A few months back, okay, that's not true, quite awhile ago, she tested Jackson and Tabitha using the Bayley. (see this post if you are curious)

Today, because she's bored, she's done it again, although not as completely. The first test she actually did for practice and this one she did from observation and memory, not exactly precise, but it gives us a great idea because Norah is rather observant. This is what she has to say;

I looked at the bayley for gross motor and both Tabitha and Jackson are at 6mos! That's good since they are 5mos corrected!  okay, actually from my guessing it put Jackson at 5:10 and Tabitha at 6... but still, close enough.

4:20 and 5 for fine motor
8 for expressive communication
6 for receptive
5 for cognitive

I think, based on the test items, that they would have more chances to practice these skills if they were frustrated more often, not having toys given to them... Still, they're doing really well! I guessed for fine motor and that puts Jackson a little bit behind corrected age, but not much, and everything else is right on target with corrected age, so not too bad.  A lot of the things I said they couldn't do had to do with getting objects that were out of reach by manipulating the world around them, more than moving themselves or fussing... receptive vocab stuff they peaked out at understanding "no" (since they never hear it) and social routines like peek-a-boo and pati-cake (also not a part of their world)... so they should be showing more understanding of how to stop something, or themselves, or how to ask for something or show they like it (which is measured by requesting social routines)...

And there you have it! Later this week I'll have some weights and heights to check out where they are on their growth charts. 

Twelve soon.

Yep, peas day two. Just about as exciting as it sounds! Nothing really to tell today, both tomatoes are fine, napping on schedule and playing like, um, babies. Crazy isn't it? 

This week I've been thinking about Zander's older brother, Rowan. He was two and a half when I met him, very, very cute, traditional blonde, huge blue eyes and his signature toddler bowl cut. He had an amazing vocabulary but was extremely picky about who he let hear it, he could say almost any word and didn't hesitate to tell you he preferred his mother over every other person in the world. 

I can hardly believe that was me, ten years ago. It seems like a lifetime ago that he was demanding I go and mommy stay. Always. In those first days I can't count how many times he said, "No Samara. You no get me. Mommy get me." This phrase applied to everything, putting on his bib, wiping his hands, buckling his carseat, unbuckling, getting toys, taking baths, everything was punctuated with "You no get me." And his pacifier, it was always in the picture, ALWAYS.

It is so crazy to think that in a week he will be twelve. Twelve. He's about my height now, doesn't want anybody to do anything, and thick. It's very odd. All of the things I imagined for him, mainly that he'd be just like his peers, and he isn't. He's the image of his mother, overweight, lazy, addicted to the television, rude, self-centered and antisocial. He does play sports like his extremely active father and he watches them on tv, but he eats garbage in massive quantities and lounges in front of the television for hours upon hours. 

I think of all we did together, how he grew, what I saw in him. There were so many great adventures, experiences to make an impression, consistent, regular activities that I just can't understand this place he's in. That isn't true, I know modeling means so much more than everything I put in, but it's so hard to accept. 

You may be thinking I dislike Beckett, his mother, but that isn't true. I love her dearly, but I know that she makes unhealthy choices. Models unhealthy behavior and who wants to see a child unhealthy? Every choice I made during my years with Rowan was based on him having a healthy life, being a healthy and happy person. It's hard to see that he isn't. You may also be thinking that he's coming into his teen years and he's completely normal, maybe. But what if he picks up more of his mother's unhealthy choices? There's still hope in college. A lot can chnge, happen and develop then. I haven't given up on Rowan. I still love him very, very much and think about him regularly. For this next year, I wish him renewed health, happiness and individuality. 

Happy Birthday Rowan!

PEAS, day 1.

Yes! We tried peas today! Both Jackson and Tabitha seem to really enjoy them. I'd say that Jackson likes trying new things and Tabitha likes eating. Both were a little hesitant with pears and apples initially and love them now. Next week we'll find out about next foods, I'm looking forward to proteins and whole grains. I know I'm going to have to wait for both, but they'll be worth it!

PT and EI came today. Both tomatoes are progressing normally. Nothing to worry about, continue with floor time and work specifically on sitting with as little support as possible. Both interventionists acknowledged improvement but neither let on that they were impressed at all. They did acknowledge both Jackson and Tabitha are behind, but learning in the regular, expected order. This is good to know, but being 25 weekers, their development is ONLY delayed. That is AWESOME! Why not mention that? They'll come back again, next month, no need for anyone new to come just continue on.

I am very proud of Jackson and Tabitha as well as Roger and Sara. I think they are all doing an amazing job rolling with the punches, developing themselves and growing like crazy. Too bad I'm just the nanny and people expect me to say that, little do they realize how high my standards and expectations are and what a compliment it really is!

On my own and yummy solids.

Back to work for real today. No Norah, no staying home. It's all me after nearly a week of being away. Our day has been great! Both tomatoes are sleeping well, relaxed and happy. We've taken nearly six hundred pictures, had tummy time, social time, floor time, made formula, bottles, prepared peas for tomorrow, napped, talked, sung - we are on it! If they'd clear the sidewalks we could have a nice walk, but since they haven't and it was a little slippery when I came in this morning, I don't see that happening today. It is supposed to get warmer as the week progresses, maybe we can count on clear sidewalks at least one day this week.

It is truly amazing how strong and opinionated Jackson and Tabitha are getting. They are enjoying tummy-time play more than being on their backs. Both are getting frustrated that they are just stuck on their backs. Each can raise their hips to the side and roll from back to front with help, but without help - they are Stuck! Jackson is super smiles today, all light and friendliness. Tabitha is Mrs Chatty-Pants. So unbelievably cute and loud!

Tomorrow we're having peas for the first time, hooray for new food! Our list is getting big! I'm looking forward to having well-rounded meals with all the food groups. We can't start proteins yet, but definitely by Spring. I'm really looking forward to giving them yogurt and cottage cheese - YUM!!

Finally, back to work.

Today I played with the tomatoes! I missed them SO much! And they've grown! I can't believe how much Jackson looks like a little boy! He's so cute. While it wouldn't seem possible, Tabitha's cheeks have gotten bigger! Both of them seem taller and even more active. Rolling over is seen more often, although not predictably so, and Jackson is moving backward! He is intentionally trying to move toward things but going backward - the first step to crawling! I can't wait!

Today Tabitha rolled over during naptime and couldn't get back to sleep. It was coming someday but it didn't make any less painful that she's gotten so big, loud and opinionated first. We'll get past it, but like everything it will take time. Jackson is all over his crib and spending a lot of time against the bars. It seems that once he's there he can't figure out how to move away. Although his timing today was impeccable. He burped, spit and then rolled over looking very proud and completely avoiding a face full of spit. It was extremely impressive.

While I was away, five full days, Roger and Sara not only managed but thrived, even taking an entire day and having an adventure. It was the first time the tomatoes sat inside of a restaurant! (I wish Roger and Sara hadn't taken them inside during RSV season, but I'm impressed at how relaxed they are feeling.) They sat near the door so there was a constant supply of fresh air and weren't around any other people. Both said they felt relaxed and enjoyed themselves. The tomatoes were calm and social. Aside from very little napping, which happens, it sounds like the perfect day. I'm glad they are feeling so comfortable and up to taking adventures. They are really enjoying being parents and having fun with their tomatoes.

Tabitha has moved into the next size of diapers and they are onto another new food - carrots - yum! The GI says Jackson is doing well but to continue as we have been, increasing his pr.losec because of his weight gain, which was adequate. We're working toward a minimum of 22 ounces a day for him, Sara says they get close to that on a regular day and I always pass it so no worries. If we didn't have cheeky-Tabitha to compare him to he'd seem perfect, which he is.

I'm still not 100% myself, but my cough is gone, energy levels are up and (sorry if this is tmi) my mucus is clear, all signs that I'm on the up and up. Because I'm still runny I'm a walking advertisement for Pure11 and I can't kiss the tomatoes. It's really hard not to. Which is kind of funny. I never used to kiss the babies I cared for, honestly. I worried it would make the parents uncomfortable (I worked for a mom who spent so little time with her child that when the child would get hurt she'd prefer me, this was without giving her loads of physical affection and not being allowed to hold her, mom was also pretty insecure). Then I worked for this awesome family in California, Nick and Bree, who lavished love on each other, Ethan and Ava, Norah and me. It was wonderful and Bree wouldn't hear of Norah and I not bathing her children in hugs, kisses and endearments. She knew Ethan and Ava loved her and them showing us affection or the other way around, couldn't threaten that. Ever since working with them we've sought out confident families with parents that don't fear affectionate, loving caregivers for their children. It is hard for some to understand, but if you think of it in terms of extended family; an only child doesn't have more love to give than one with many siblings and cousins, there's always enough love. Thus, not being able to kiss and snuggle the tomatoes is really, really tough.

All ready to go back...

Roger and Sara gave me the go ahead and to return to work this morning. It was completely their decision, despite everyone's lack of certainty on the matter. It seemed this was great, we were all on the same page, but I couldn't sleep. I was worried all night about the tomatoes. Coughing, I didn't want them coughing. More and more ideas came to me about ways to be sure they'd be okay, but none seemed definite.

Then, this morning, I woke up with a wetter, deeper cough and the solution. I called Sara, she agreed, hope I feel better.

Home again, I'm feeling relieved that we know this is the right choice. And the tomatoes are healthy. Tabitha's tiny cough is gone, neither have fevers and they are eating and sleeping well. Good job Jackson ad Tabitha! Stay well and have a good weekend.

Uggh.

Uggh. (you know what that means, don't you?)

I'm home sick today. I missed an opportunity to have one on one playtime with Tabitha while Jackson was at the doctor's with Sara because I'm too (cover your ears) damn honest. I have a tiny sore throat, I could totally work today, instead I'm home in bed. Roger and Sara and I have an agreement that if I'm at all "off" I give them a heads up and they make the call. So I do, I call them, they talk it over and call me back. Of course this is only the second time it's happened, but telling them almost guarantees my staying home. I hate it, but I still do it.

I really could have used the extra sleep earlier in the week, but I made a point to go to bed early last night. No lie, I was in bed by 9:15 pm. Norah had some school work to finish up, put me to bed and stayed up. I hate being home sick. Hate it! The worst part is not knowing if I'll have to be stuck here again tomorrow. And, and I didn't get myself sick! I don't know anyone who is sick. I've been avoiding Addison and Madison, much to everyone's disappointment, all winter. every time we plan to get together they are sick so I cancel. (it's like they are in day care or something) Sara told me everyone in her office is sick, Norah says the same is true of her office, although she hasn't been in two weeks. My theory is that Roger and Sara are transporting the germs. I'm susceptible because my immunities aren't strengthened regularly because I stay home with the healthy little peanuts. We never go anywhere in order to keep them healthy. The down side is I'm never exposed to build immunities either. So I'm stuck here at home through no fault of my own, it would be one thing if I were getting something out of this, but all I'm getting is multiple hours in a row to think about missing Jackson and Tabitha, so unfair.

Tuesday that follows Monday...

Ahh, Tuesday, well, maybe not quite.
Yesterday there was a lot of diaper dirtying going on which may have affected regular napping. Today there has been a bit of crib-traveling, to the tune of heads pressed against the crib bars. Poor little tomatoes. Roger and Sara really don't want to put the bumpers all the way around, right now they are two sided, because then Jackson and Tabitha won't be able to see each other. But now that they can move they are both having trouble staying on the bumper sides and end up smushed along the unbumpered sides. When we help them it annoys Tabitha and over-stimulates Jackson to the point they both have trouble getting back to sleep. When we leave them to figure it out, they stay pressed up there and cry themselves to sleep along the bars. Neither way is working, we're all talking about our possible options. Roger has suggested making the bumpers three sided as they usually end up along the front long side rather than the short top side which is the one that faces their twin's crib. Sara wasn't sure this was possible, I assured her that it is, but she'd still like to try it this way a little longer.

Not really having strong feelings either way, I'm going to keep my mouth closed. I think they have a handle on it, Roger and Sara, whatever we decide Jackson and Tabitha will get used to and there's no danger to having the bumpers all the way around or not at all. Either way the tomatoes are safe so whatever is decided will work fine. Not sure if I'd mentioned this, but we've lowered the cribs. With all of this rolling ability we couldn't have the possibility of either tomato falling out of their crib. While Tabitha doesn't lift her head high enough for this to be an issue, Jackson gets his high enough that his chin could have cleared the railing. Neither minded the change although I'm sure they both noticed as the first time we put them in, after the change, there was a lot of looking around.

Speaking of changes that haven't been mentioned. Things are really, really good here. We've moved beyond that transition of Roger and Sara going back to work. We've, okay, Roger has created an awesome method for me to give them the pictures I take. (more about this in a minute) Tomatoes are thriving. And, oh you aren't ready for this. but here it comes...

Today Jackson tried to crawl!!
Now he is nowhere near crawling, but he's starting to try some new gross motor skills out that could lead to his crawling. In addition to lifting his entire chest and stomach off of the floor, he lifted his waist up. I know, not much different, but for him, HUGE! Then, when that didn't work, he was trying to get a toy just out of reach, he let his chest down, arms out to sides, and tried pulling his knees in! How smart is this tomato!

Tabitha has started hip-thrusts. She lies, on stomach or back, and thrusts her hips to the side. I'm not sure if she's trying to roll over, show her frustration or move her body but she's getting better at it and stronger.

They are both just so amazing. I can't believe how wonderful they are doing. Hoping that the EI and PT will be impressed when they come in a week or two.


---

Not really following up on many posts, getting it out I feel better and forget my frustrations, I've inevitably left some things out. Because my pictures are labeled by date, Roger and Sara know exactly when they were taken. I never hide pictures from them, but I also don't give them everything because I take way too many shots of the same thing. Sara took all of them once and was completely overwhelmed. Each time I give them new ones, and there are more than sixty in a batch, she asks, "You went through them right?" She really doesn't want all 300 of them, it's just too much.

Anyhow, one of the sets of pictures I gave them included pictures of auntie Laverne and auntie Shirley holding the babies. They were thrilled to get these! Because one of the aunties was sick for the beginning of their visit, there aren't as many pictures of her with Jackson and Sara, inevitably everyone takes more photos at the ends of a visit than in the middle. Both Roger and Sara were glad that I took some when she was dressing and feeding the babies. As it happened this was six hours before they removed the ban on auntie getting too close. Roger said they knew that morning that she was probably fine, but didn't think to say anything. That's why he noticed the date. I'm so glad I included her, it worked out really well and reinforced my judgement, experience and instincts when Roger mentioned it. While I never said so, just assured him that "of course I took pictures," it still felt good to be appreciated.

Monday, Monday.

It is Monday! How did this happen? Both Jackson and Tabitha were perfect this weekend. I don't use that term loosely, but they were. Completely adorable, sweet and schedule-loving! I actually came in over the weekend, spent the entire day with them and it couldn't have been better! 

Incidentally, as soon as I arrived Sara says,

"Samara! We LOVE the schedule!"

Not taking credit for something we've all worked on together, I told her that I'm glad that it works for them as well as Jackson and Tabitha, fitting a daily routine to four people plus meeting my expectations isn't easy and secretly I loved the praise. 

But I can't explain why today things have been so bumpy. Naps were a little shorter than usual and both Jackson and Tabitha were more sleepy than usual. At the end of the day, when I explained this to Roger and Sara, they were thrilled.

"So this means it isn't our fault?!"

Aww! Poor Roger and Sara! I assured them it couldn't be as I'd been here over the weekend and followed the schedule close enough without trouble, there must be something about Monday. We'll see how the week pans out. I'm hoping that Norah and I just wore them out with so much fun over the weekend that they were a little over-sleepy on Monday.

How could I forget the best part of the day?!?

Jackson rolled the ball to me! Intentionally! Six or seven times while lying on his back! Each time took awhile, but he was concentrating and definitely doing it on purpose. When I told Sara she said they'd been rolling the ball with him! Roger and Sara taught Jackson to roll a ball - and he learned! How brilliant is this family?!

Solid Food - Yum Yum!

You wouldn't believe how much the tomatoes enjoy their food. They love solids! Today we started oatmeal - Jackson is in love! He ate and ate the oatmeal until it was gone. It was adorable! He's generally cranky during the morning snack because he's getting ready for his nap, but today he was all about the oatmeal. Little cutie.

Good news? or Bad news?

Good and bad day. Tabitha was especially adorable during her awake periods but terribly fussy during her naps. She was overtired and kept waking at the 45 minute mark. I think she'll sleep better tomorrow, I'm looking forward to it.

Jackson had an extreme day. Despite his old issues with eating he's been doing especially well since beginning solids. He eats in a more relaxed manner and protests the bottle less, until this week. He's getting more opinionated and seems to be figuring out his autonomy. It's exciting to see his brain working so well and frustrating to experience his levels of autonomy. Right now what can he control? He's seven months old, has rolled over but doesn't seem to remember how, Roger and Sara have yet to see him do it, he eats, he sleeps, he poops. Pretty much he can control when he sleeps, how he sleeps, what and how much he eats and when he poops. Obviously he can choose when to be social, as he showed with his response to my being away, when he cries, laughs, smiles etc. But these are things most people realize right away. What I'm getting at is that Jackson is controlling his food intake, bottles mostly. Yesterday he showed us two extremes, early bottle, with Roger and Sara, he only took 60 mL, opposed to his regular 160 mL. The next bottle, my first of the day with him, he took 250 mL! Neither he nor Tabitha has ever taken that much. It was shocking! Then the following bottle he completely refused. I tried for thirty minutes, he'd take the nipple into his mouth and chew on it. Maybe, maybe 10 mL dribbled down his chin, maybe. The crazy part was his attitude, he wasn't uncomfortable or angry or even annoyed, he was happy, sweet and smiley - but not overly so that he was choosing social over eating.

Each time I'd try again he'd kind of whine at me as if to say, "Really? I really don't want it. I appreciate the offer." Of course after that nap he was hungry and extremely sensitive. Poor guy. He chugged down his snack bottle and ate solids like an addict, an adorable addict, but an addict nonetheless.

Roger and Sara are really growing as parents. They agree that he may not be hungry or is just becoming more opinionated. They aren't stressed or anxious which is awesome and wonderful. Next week he'll visit the GI again and we'll know if he needs his pr.losec increased, he's definitely grown.

Speaking of growing - you wouldn't recognize Tabitha! Her had has gotten rounder, she's darling! Huge, chubby cheeks, massive hamhocks and sparkling eyes. She smiles all of the time. It is great, they are truly thriving.

Drama Summarized

It's surprising to me that so early into the new year there are folks out there looking to start trouble. But it is a year, just like last year and folks will do what they do. Because of one or two women there has been a change in my blog. I've removed all of the photos, two unbelievably cute babies made them very uncomfortable. I'll still have these photos online so if you are a regular reader just drop me an email and I'll let you know where to find them (per Norah's suggestion, thank you Norah, you are right, most people really enjoy the daily photos with their updates).

Different perspectives are appreciated; disrespect, threats and hostility are not. While my opinions may not be the same as yours, when I disagree with Roger and Sara my blog gives me an opportunity to collect my thoughts, step outside of my emotions and review the situation(Aha!). So if my thoughts seem frustrated at times or emotion-laden and hastily collected this blog is not the extent of my expression. My blog is in no way a secret, hateful critique of Roger and Sara that I use to mask my actual feelings. I talk with them about each and every issue that arises and we each trust one another completely. Our relationship is built on honesty the same way I've built this blog. It is possible this honesty makes some uncomfortable, the reader may have felt personally critiqued by my use of general terms. The use of these general terms and nicknames may have also portrayed a feeling of secrecy and collusion. Neither of which I could have predicted nor expected. Shattering these feelings and aiding in separation, I've replaced my general terms with specific names.

Whether or not it has come across I've really appreciated this bit of excitement on my blog. It has increased my daily viewers, something I couldn't figure out how to do, opened different perspectives and given me the opportunity to read through my old posts, make connections, tie up lose ends and increase my dedication to this endeavor. Oddly enough it has also brought in more than a few job offers from other preemie parents. So thank you Aimee (at bad mummy dot com, interesting perspective of self) and Bree, you've really started something great here for me!

Roll While You Play! She can do it alll day...

Just roll while you play
Push up that tummy and turn like it's funny to roll far and wide
Just roll over now
Just do your best and take a rest and roll to on your side

When there's too much to do
Don't let it bother you, forget your troubles,
Try to be just like a cheerful chick-a-dee

And roll while you play
Come on get smart, gear up and start
To roll while you play

You guessed it! Tabitha rolled over today for Roger and Sara! They said she rolled and rolled and rolled (in between rolls they turned her back to her tummy so each time was from tummy to back over her left shoulder)! Hooray for Tabitha!

(yes, her song is shorter than Jackson's was, but it took more work and I haven't actually seen her do it yet so I'm singing off of Roger and Sara's excitement rather than my own this time!)

Jackson rolls!

Make way Jackson rolls!
Say hey! Jackson rolls!

Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar
Hey you!
Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your block to meet his eye!

Make way!
Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Are you gonna love this guy!

Jackson rolls! Fabulous he!
Jackson our-roller!
Genuflect, show some respect
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm
Brush up your sunday salaam
The come and meet his spectacular coterie [of toys]

Jackson rolls!
Mighty is he!
Jackson our-roller!
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
He faced the tummy time blues
A hundred people in shoes
Who rolled and made big news?
Why, Jackson rolls!

New Schedule

Without hesitation we began a new schedule today. Jackson and Tabitha have been cutting their first nap of the day short causing their awake period, before their big nap, to increase to nearly two hours. While two hours might not sound like very long, possibly some of you are thinking it's me who prefers not to have them awake so long, but spending two hours of awake time isn't the hard part, it's the sleeping afterwards. Their three hour nap that followed the two hours of awake time became a forty-five minute nap with a lot of fussing afterwards. Some days Jackson would do this, other days it would be Tabitha. The bottom line is, it became inconsistent with that forty-five minutes at the beginning being the only predictable part. If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times,

WAKING AT 45 MINUTES MEANS THEY ARE OVERTIRED.

This morning Roger and Sara aimed to feed them at 7:15 am, they made it to 7:05 am. Not bad.
I arrived at 8 am and the plan was for me to give them cereal and/or solids at 8:15 am. Good.
Our goal was to put them down for their first nap at 9 am. At 8:35 am Jackson lost it. Screaming, crying, done. Just by chance this corresponded with Roger's entrance into the situation. Roger can't handle telling either baby "no" or making them wait, for anything. We put both Jackson and Tabitha to bed. Jackson went to sleep almost immediately, 8:40 am, not too bad. Tabitha took another ten minutes of fussing, going to sleep at 8:50 am rather than 9 am, pretty good.

Jackson cycled around 9:20 am and went back to sleep, no crying whatsoever. Tabitha woke at 9:45 am and decided she was ready to play. She's just getting back to sleep now, after a little talking, a little playing and yes, a little crying. We're aiming for the next mealtime around 11 - 11:15 am to get down for their big nap around noon. But the key here is only to have them awake for one hour total, after that they get overtired and can't sleep longer than forty-five minute cycles.

This must be extremely boring to read, I apologize. I'm using my blog as documentation of each stage, transition and change.
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And, a recipe!
This morning we tried cinnamon pears with sweet potatoes - YUMMY!

Early Intervention

EI came this morning to check up on Jackson and Tabitha. They came early because it is best for Roger and Sara and only interrupts Jackson and Tabitha's sleep a little. Both the PT and our EI nurse were impressed with the progress the tomatoes have made. Jackson was a little cranky, sleepy this morning but still did an acceptable job. He is a baby so we can cut him some slack, right?

We need to continue working on tummy time, floor time in general and some specific suggestions included side play, to encourage the separation of top and bottom, seated positions, to increase trunk strength, and putting toys in their hands, to increase grasping, opening of fists and toy transfer. Tabitha transfered a toy between both hands while they were here, I was very proud. Roger and Sara haven't even seen her do this yet! Jackson seemed stronger on his tummy, more of his chest and stomach were off of the ground. He was also infinitely more verbal but Tabitha saw plenty opportunities to share her raspberry-type spitting that I so loathe. Much as Sara and our EI nurse thought it was cute. I don't think either Roger or PT agree and I surely don't think it's cute in any way.

Tomorrow morning will be a weigh in and RSV for each baby. I'll come into work late but Norah will join me because she's on Christmas break from school, as of this past Monday, and today is her last workday before she gets a break from that too. I was telling her how the housekeeper received a Christmas bonus yesterday and hoping that meant I'd get one too, she was saying how she definitely won't get a bonus as her work is an unpaid internship. As she gets a three week break I told her, that is a pretty good bonus! Looking at it from that perspective she had to agree!