The Good stuff

They have so much personality for such little tomatoes.

Sara took a great photo with my camera whe she found us during a feed a few weeks ago. It is nice to be able to feed them both at once when they are starving, but I relish the feeds when I can focus on just one at a time. I work my hardest to be sure that we can enjoy the last leisurely feed of every work day one-on-one.

I took a great photo at the beginning of September, Jackson and Tabitha's aunt had just left a week earlier and she was leaving a message on the machine. Both were listening intently to her speaking. I think they recognized her voice. After this photo there's actually a shot of them fussing because she stopped talking.

There is also a great photo of our first meeting in the NICU. Roger and Sara were thrilled to let Norah and I hold them and took our picture together. Jackson and Tabitha were both so much bigger than I could have expected. The next day Tabitha came home and a week after that Jackson joined us too.

Okay, now, one last post. Tonight I've come upon some unexpected free time and took the opportunity to search for some more blogs to read. Norah loves to read blogs, graduate students, lesbians, TTC, parents, you name it she reads it. I read a couple of them but mostly I'm interested in different things. Twins, preemies, micro-preemies, other full time nannies, photographers - I'd love to read about these people all day long! But I have no idea how to find these other blogs and bloggers. I've been searching like a fool and read some pretty incredible stories. There are some truly amazing folks out there. Worried about family privacy and defining the line between what is appropriate and what just isn't okay, but with what's here I think I've struck a good balance. Of course there are those who would disagree, but that is always the case.

I LOVE photography. I love working with families. I love multiples. I love Norah. I've been a nanny for two months longer than I've been with her, which has been more than nine years. And what more can I tell you? It's late and I'm tired, but life is really good.

BTW if any of you know of blogs that I might enjoy - recommendations are welcome. Have a great weekend!

Ahh, time to relax...

This week is over!! I'm so glad it is FRIDAY! 

Days are so much longer with two babies and two adults always up to something. We're getting there one day at a time, together.

Having Jackson do 11 to 12 hour stretches at night is great but along with it come worries. Is it okay for him to go that long? If we were to look at his adjusted age (for those of you who don't know this is counted from the due date opposed to actual age which is counted from birth) he's only just five weeks old. But how can you just throw out those additional three months? He's happy, why not let him sleep?

Bottom line for his preemie self - if he's gaining [enough] weight then it is great.

Today we visited the pediatrician, the new one whom we all love, for a weigh in.

According to T. Barry Brazelton [pediatrician, researcher and author of Touchpoints] a six week old baby should gain about 1/2 ounce per day. It has been nine days since we visited our pediatrician for their baseline weigh in and measurements. That means our boy should be about five ounces heavier.

Last time Jackson weighed 9 lb 9 oz and today he weighed 10 lb 3 oz - that's right he gained 10 ounces! Double the expected weight gain for his adjusted age, Hooray for Jackson!!! Now he can sleep his 11-12 hours every night, we'll no longer try to wake you up lil'tomato, I'm so proud of you!

Now of course, little missy Tabitha is still demanding her 2 am and 6 am bottles, regularly waking up early and screaming until she is fed. And of course, because she is a twin and we were at the pediatrician's office anyway, she too weighed in. Last time she was 10 lb 13 oz and as of this morning she weighs 11 lb 13 oz! She gained an entire pound!! She definitely doesn't need that 2 am bottle no matter what she says. The doctor said her weight gain for nine days would have been perfect for the entire month!!! Sorry tomatokins, looks like your 2 am bottle is on it's way out. You can do it Tabitha!

That is the news for this week. Cross your fingers that next week brings the Roger and Sara's return to work, the appearance of normal fall weather and the reinstatement of my sanity! I'm joking, it really isn't so bad, next I'll be complaining about how long and quiet my days are.

In other news, the recent death in our lives has pushed just the right buttons to get us back on the TTC-wagon. We're thinking about trying again in November. Four unsuccessful tries down, one BFP to go! [BTW I'd inseminate with twelve vials if it meant I'd get pregnant with triplets - can you imagine?! I can hardly imagine anything better!]

Until next week then.

When is it time?

Life is good!

Babies are great!

Early Intervention came today to follow up on Jackson and Tabitha's evaluations from last week. Their computer was down so they really couldn't tell us anything. How lame is that?! Norah works with developmental assessments daily and they score them by hand if they need to. This just reinforces her views that EI folks are under-trained and unintelligent. These are my first EI folks and I've seen nothing to dispute my wife's claims. They do what I do with a different title - and they make LESS! I looked at EI jobs, I'm more than qualified but they really make crap. How could I support Basel and Norah in graduate school on that salary? And I'd be indifferent homes each day, dealing with diverse situations, varied parents and doing what? Encouraging parents, making suggestions, telling them what is appropriate at what age, what exercises they can do to benefit specific developments, and then I'd just leave and hope they were taking some of my suggestions to heart. Whereas in my job I do all those things plus I lead by example every day.

Enough about me, I enjoy my work and only ask a tad more respect when I tell others what I do because I make a difference every day. Update on the babies.

Late yesterday afternoon Jackson raised his head almost two inches off of the blanket - hooray Jackson! He also freed his left arm which had been pinned under his belly - all by himself! He vocalized while he worked but didn't cry or give up. I am very proud of him.

He is still having trouble eating. After a burp/once he becomes sleepy he has trouble beginning. He can suck, swallow, breathe but the initial suck gives him trouble when he's tired. It is exhausting for him and us but we are working on it every feed. He's still eating well and sleeping perfectly during the night. Again with the eleven hours.

Tabitha is getting more demanding with her desires. If she turns over in her sleep and fusses she can get herself back to sleep when given the opportunity. When she is "soothed" at this point it vamps her up and she fusses unhappily for quite a long time. She's still eating during the night and Sara has decided she's using the bottle to go back to sleep. Not what we'd like to see. The current debate is whether to decrease the amount she's offered, drop the bottle cold turkey or replace the bottle with the pacifier. I vote drop it cold turkey, she doesn't need it, she's waking up before it at times then not taking it, she doesn't finish it, soothing her with the pacifier entails various visits and re-insertions, eventually we'd need to wean her from the pacifier (she doesn't take it any other time than the middle of the night to stretch to a feed and never regularly) and soothing her with the pacifier would take as much work as soothing her without it.

Roger and Sara are still spending a lot of time at home. I thought I was fine with it but it is getting exhausting. I get glimpses of freedom, seeing what a day could be like without them all over the babies every twenty minutes and it makes me long for the days of baby-care rather than parentcare/consulting/re-doing what they mess up. But this is my job and I love it, right?

Measure a Life

Despite my lack of blogging, there is quite a bit on my mind.

Over the weekend we attended a memorial service because one of Norah's peers died last week from brain cancer. Sadly he left behind two small children and his loving wife. Being there was very good for us, we were able to grieve with friends and see that his wife is a rock. It is such a tough thing, cancer, long drawn out illness. It drains everyone in it's wake. And then it continues to go on and on. In the end it seems death is a relief both for the afflicted and the loved ones. But it has never felt that way to me.

When I was 12 my father had his first tumor removed. At 16 he had a colostomy and bid farewell to his pride, strength and manhood, as far as he was concerned. Then, when I was 17 and he was forty, my dad died. His battle with cancer was over and he had to fight no more. Everyone voiced how he'd never suffer again, and moved on. This month will bring his 12th death anniversary and I still have trouble being okay with the idea of saying, it's okay, we're okay, you can die now. But that is exactly what this wife told to her husband five hours before he died leaving her with their two small children.

And I know it is true. She will be okay. Their boys will be okay. And he wouldn't have been okay no matter how hard he fought to stay alive. But would I have been able to be THAT strong? I love my wife so much, how could I tell her to go? Just go.
I don't know if I could. I just don't know.

On the baby front things seems to be plugging along. The weekend brought grandmommie's flight home and Sara and Roger's move to returning to work. But Sara is having some trouble wrapping her brain around that one. She' taking it slow and feeling pulled in two directions. I'm not worried, there's no rush.

Tabitha is growing like crazy. I came to work on Monday she was a new baby. She's beautiful, like a cherub. She eats every 3+ hours during the day and every four hours at night. And she loves to sleep. Her bathroom habits could be better, she consistently has wet diapers but only dirties her diaper every other or every third day. We'll continue to keep an eye on that. She's still not really enjoying tummy-time unless it is an opportunity to sleep then she's all about it. When it is a workout, awake tummy-time, she lifts her head just enough to plant her face in the blanket and cry. We generally wait her out but it takes everything to make it longer than her - she's one determined little girl! Her core strength is improving so that she can hold herself up for 20 seconds or so while sitting on your lap with only a hand to steady her. We've also been working on sitting upright. Her lower half is extremely stiff, possibly normal but compared to her brother she's stiff, and she's getting a bit better. She isn't holding herself up at all but she's stopped fussing so much about being put into the sitting position.

Jackson is still battling with Reflux (GERD). We're continuing with the mildest medication possible and trying to improve things surrounding his feeds. Still burping every 20-30ml/cc we're keeping him more upright during feeds and trying the #2 nipples. He's still spitting and lately seems a bit more uncomfortable than usual. According to the pediatrician he was on a very low dose and today we increased the amount he was taking to three times as much. I hope it helps him, maybe decrease the burning in his throat. He eats on the same schedule as his sister during the day but during the night he is all about his sleep. He regularly goes seven hours between nighttime bottles and has just started doing a couple of eleven hour stretches! Not to worry as long as he continues to gain weight. Since he finishes every drop during the day it seems that they are getting about the same in total volume but a weigh in on Friday will assure us he is doing a good job. As far as physical development he's doing great. When we practice tummy time he does pretty well, meaning he can hold his head about 1/2 inch off of the floor and doesn't complain about it. But like his sister he thinks it is an excellent opportunity for a nap and usually falls asleep. Sitting practice is a bit easier with Jackson. He is rather relaxed and generally doesn't mind being put into a sitting position. Sometimes he can hold himself up enough that he only needs a hand to steady him. We'll keep practicing more each day and eventually we'll see the improvement.

That is all that I have for you right now. I'm still processing this new death and constantly thinking about how the wife must be feeling. He released his last breath while she held him. I can't even imagine what that must feel like.