Jackson can do three short naps, uggh, or one great nap and two short naps. They are evenly spaced and he seems to move through the day well / gets enough sleep overall. If we dropped that final nap he may increase the length of his other two naps, but he enjoys it so much, I don't want to deprive him.
Tabitha has actually been napping like a poster child for naps. She naps about 90 minutes in the morning, around 75-80 minutes in the afternoon then pushes through until bedtime. She wakes in great moods and has plenty of energy. Sadly she's been fussy despite this. Norah suggested that we have special Samara-Tabitha playtime to ease her frustrations and hopefully help decrease her negative behaviors, i.e. screaming, fits, intentional grumpiness, inability to play alone, etc. Our gol is to play together for five minutes everyday, completely Tabitha centered.
This sounds pretty simple and straight-forward, but it's tougher than you'd think. There are lots of rules in order to get it right. It's based on a proven study they've been doing, with preemies specifically, that are having problem behaviors at home. As a rule they use toddlers and problem behaviors are various, ranging from the extreme to the mild. Most don't do it with babies, but it can't hurt so we're going to try.
Now for the basic rules, of course I'll probably forget some as we've only practiced once so far. With Tabitha I need to be face to face. For us this means I put her on my lap and semi-support her sitting position (no, neither tomato sits alone yet). I put three to four toys on her lap and let her choose what she'd like to play with, then I just leave the others there.
As she plays I am not allowed to:
offer toys
ask her questions
request anything of her
I am allowed to:
talk about what she's looking at
respond to her positive behaviors
i.e. reaching, holding or grasping a toy, keeping herself upright, retrieving a toy she has dropped (I ignore the dropping and NEVER retrieve it for her), etc
reflect her positive noises (ignore the negative)
i.e. cooing, babbling (no scolding for screaming)
We do this for five minutes. I don't tickle her or move her body for her, just support her and give to her. While it may not seem like it, we take a lot from babies. We want them to socialize and smile when we're in the mood. We want interactions and performance wen we have the time. This five minutes is all about giving to Tabitha, no taking. No questions. Do you see the light? Nope, uh-huh. You see the light. I like how you are holding yourself up. Ahhh. Baba. etc. You get the idea.
Now I know this sounds silly. But when we started Tabitha was mad at me. She'd play with her toys but not look me in the eyes. She was with-holding eye contact. Jackson started doing this months ago, but she's only started recently. By the end of our play session, we did ten minutes for the practice, she was making more eye contact, but still not as much as usual. When I first put her down to play, after we'd finished, she was annoyed. I ignored the negative behaviors but praised to the positive to aid the transition. After no more than three minutes she was fine and continued to play happily on her own. The remainder of the day brought increased eye contact, smiles and better interaction for she and I.
Of course, as these things go, it will get worse before it gets better. I will work hard to do these five minutes each day and she will increase her negative behaviors once our five minutes are over. But, if I keep with it, it's likely that our relationship will improve, her behavior will improve and, as I noticed yesterday, her language, social self and gross motor skills may improve as well.
