Thursday turned into an exhausting but awful day. Honestly. Tomatoes were exhausted and needed much more sleep than Roger and Sara said they should have. They ended up having the two one hour naps Mr. Pediatrician had suggested. Is he insane? They were basketcases. When Roger and Sara tried to do their nighttime routine, Jackson refused to eat. He finally took 50ml (almost two ounces) and promtly threw it all back up. Awhile later they convinced him to take 50-70 more and he kept that down. But all he realy wanted to do was sleep. They had an equally tough time feedimg him Friday morning.
On good Fridays Norah joins me at work. Oftentimes there are other more interesting things to do and she tries to get out of it, occasionally succeeding or compromising and only doing half the day. Because of Thursday she stayed all day Friday without the tiniest complaint. The reason I couldn't blog yesterday, are you ready fo this?
The day was awesome! Jackson caught up on his sleep. He ate wonderfully except one tough part of one feed. Tabitha slept, played and caught up a bit too. Norah and I grabbed lunch from this deli around the block. It was a really great day! I was so busy enjoying it that I didn't have time to blog! And we had a photoshoot. Photoshoots are always better when Norah can help. She has different ideas, perspective and her own set of hands. She's also completely willing to just do as I ask if I have something specific in mind. An opportunity to work with four hands?! Who wouldn't love that?
And today we are having a party in our tiny apartment. I'm very, very excited about it. We moved here over the summer and it is really, really small. This may sound awful but quite the contrary. I love it! There are only the two of us and Basel and it is perfect. We haven't really had many people over since we've been here, still settling, organizing, etc. So tonight is our big debut. I think the place looks good, the menu is perfect and now to decide what to wear...
Have a great weekend.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Expectations
This pediatrician thing has been stuck in my mind. I can't stop thinking about it. Norah can't understand why I'm so bothered by it, there are many people in positions of power with low expectations. Why do his low expectations bother me so much? And then it came to me, the reason it just gnaws at me. It was as if he said,
"Roger and Sara don't have a clue anyway. Why bother to teach them? You can't help everyone so do the minimum, expect nothing and you'll get by."
How can anyone that knows infants and children feel that way?! If caregivers, parents, grandmommies and pop-pops, aunties, uncles, friends, neighbors, nannies, etc, are willing to put in a little extra work followed by consistancy then the benefits are infinate.
The parent or caregiver of an exhausted child gets less alone time which means fewer opportunities to think, reflect and consider their children, actions and large number of possibilities.
The parent or caregiver of a picky eater spends more time worrying about food [how to get the child to eat, whether the child has eaten enough, what if they stop growing?] than about how to have fun, relax and try new things.
Children who get too little sleep get colds more often.
Children who don't get enough fruits and vegetables aren't as prepared to deal with illness as those who do.
The list goes on. So why, WHY would a pediatrician say it doesn't matter? Who cares? Why bother? It is very, very frustrating to me and it's nice to be able to vent about. I apologize for going on and on though.
On the schedule front, we're back to 'Roger and Sara's rule.' Jackson and Tabitha take a bottle before bed because they can't imagine putting them down without food, who cares about their teeth? Breathe Samara. In. Out. We'll change it later. No 5-6pm nap, they can make it, we're expecting too much of them, "they deserve it" is what Sara says.
I'm not sure how long I'm going to last at this job, with Roger and Sara being so inflexible. They are gone 5/7 of the week and want me to do things the lazy, no-forethought way. Which isn't the way that I work. If it's better for Jackson and Tabitha, even if it's harder now, then we should do it the best way.
As a follow up to this post, we're back to napping on blankets around the house. We're definitely having a transition period, but I'm excited about the product and think the benefits far outweigh the short-term re-learning curve.
"Roger and Sara don't have a clue anyway. Why bother to teach them? You can't help everyone so do the minimum, expect nothing and you'll get by."
How can anyone that knows infants and children feel that way?! If caregivers, parents, grandmommies and pop-pops, aunties, uncles, friends, neighbors, nannies, etc, are willing to put in a little extra work followed by consistancy then the benefits are infinate.
The parent or caregiver of an exhausted child gets less alone time which means fewer opportunities to think, reflect and consider their children, actions and large number of possibilities.
The parent or caregiver of a picky eater spends more time worrying about food [how to get the child to eat, whether the child has eaten enough, what if they stop growing?] than about how to have fun, relax and try new things.
Children who get too little sleep get colds more often.
Children who don't get enough fruits and vegetables aren't as prepared to deal with illness as those who do.
The list goes on. So why, WHY would a pediatrician say it doesn't matter? Who cares? Why bother? It is very, very frustrating to me and it's nice to be able to vent about. I apologize for going on and on though.
On the schedule front, we're back to 'Roger and Sara's rule.' Jackson and Tabitha take a bottle before bed because they can't imagine putting them down without food, who cares about their teeth? Breathe Samara. In. Out. We'll change it later. No 5-6pm nap, they can make it, we're expecting too much of them, "they deserve it" is what Sara says.
I'm not sure how long I'm going to last at this job, with Roger and Sara being so inflexible. They are gone 5/7 of the week and want me to do things the lazy, no-forethought way. Which isn't the way that I work. If it's better for Jackson and Tabitha, even if it's harder now, then we should do it the best way.
As a follow up to this post, we're back to napping on blankets around the house. We're definitely having a transition period, but I'm excited about the product and think the benefits far outweigh the short-term re-learning curve.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Halloween 2007
What a long day.
Norah and I went trick or treating with our dog. It was great and relaxed and fun. After a bit of wandering through the busiest trick-or-treating area in downtown we decided to grab a bite, at our favorite pizza by the slice place. Like other nights before we leashed Basel to a parking meter and went inside, always keeping an eye on our spoiled puppy getting loads of love from passers-by. As we were relaxing into our second slices in trots Basel. No lie. He'd pulled free of his collar and thought he'd come in for a slice. The best part was, he walked right inside to us. We were tucked back in a corner because the place was so busy and he knew right where we were. As appaling as it was to have Basel in the pizza place we were both secretly proud and glad he'd came straight to us instead of wandering off in search of friendly folks with candy. When I took him back outside, sans pizza, to leash him back, there was his collar dangling from the leash, I can't imagine how sad I would of been had we come out and found that rather than having him come in and find us.
On the nanny front it was a very long and very exhausting day - in all of the best ways.
Roger, Sara and I took Jackson and Tabitha to visit the pediatrician. He said they looked great and then prattled on some crap low expectations, generalizations and complete lack of insight. He really annoyed me today and I disagreed with 90% of what he said. Aside from that, Tabitha is up to 13lbs4oz and she grew two inches! Jackson is up to 12lbs even. They both gained double what we'd like to see - way to go babies! He increased Jackson's z@nt@c because he has been having a tough time connecting to the bottle but not really spitting up. I don't know if he needs more medicine but we'll see how it goes.
The afternoon was even more exciting than the morning. While the tomatoes slept, Tabitha on Norah and Jackson, good boy, in his bed, Roger and Sara carved their first pumpkin!!! We'd been talking about it for days and I tried to prepare them for as much as I could, the shell is hard, the insides are goopy, it is fun, messy and an experience. You can do it.
It was excellent. Sara cut open the top.
"This is hard work."
Roger came in, saw the pumpkin was dirty.
"Can I wash it? Can I use the sponge?" (we had a very clean pumpkin!)
They scraped out the insides - saving the seeds for baking and eating later. Then worked together to choose a face. Sara wanted heart eyes, Roger thought that would be too tough, so he made circles. Sara wanted a trianlge nose, done. They wanted a smiley mouth with teeth, tough but excellent work. Their process and final product looked like a first experience and it was PERFECT! I'm very proud of them and impressed with the work they did. I took loads of pictures and but lost a huge chunk in the middle too. I was extremely disappointed, but as I'm the one who knocked my camera off the table I can only be annoyed with myself.
It was a great day, a wonderful Halloween and now I'm beat!
Hope tomorrow is quiet and boring. :)
Norah and I went trick or treating with our dog. It was great and relaxed and fun. After a bit of wandering through the busiest trick-or-treating area in downtown we decided to grab a bite, at our favorite pizza by the slice place. Like other nights before we leashed Basel to a parking meter and went inside, always keeping an eye on our spoiled puppy getting loads of love from passers-by. As we were relaxing into our second slices in trots Basel. No lie. He'd pulled free of his collar and thought he'd come in for a slice. The best part was, he walked right inside to us. We were tucked back in a corner because the place was so busy and he knew right where we were. As appaling as it was to have Basel in the pizza place we were both secretly proud and glad he'd came straight to us instead of wandering off in search of friendly folks with candy. When I took him back outside, sans pizza, to leash him back, there was his collar dangling from the leash, I can't imagine how sad I would of been had we come out and found that rather than having him come in and find us.
On the nanny front it was a very long and very exhausting day - in all of the best ways.
Roger, Sara and I took Jackson and Tabitha to visit the pediatrician. He said they looked great and then prattled on some crap low expectations, generalizations and complete lack of insight. He really annoyed me today and I disagreed with 90% of what he said. Aside from that, Tabitha is up to 13lbs4oz and she grew two inches! Jackson is up to 12lbs even. They both gained double what we'd like to see - way to go babies! He increased Jackson's z@nt@c because he has been having a tough time connecting to the bottle but not really spitting up. I don't know if he needs more medicine but we'll see how it goes.
The afternoon was even more exciting than the morning. While the tomatoes slept, Tabitha on Norah and Jackson, good boy, in his bed, Roger and Sara carved their first pumpkin!!! We'd been talking about it for days and I tried to prepare them for as much as I could, the shell is hard, the insides are goopy, it is fun, messy and an experience. You can do it.
It was excellent. Sara cut open the top.
"This is hard work."
Roger came in, saw the pumpkin was dirty.
"Can I wash it? Can I use the sponge?" (we had a very clean pumpkin!)
They scraped out the insides - saving the seeds for baking and eating later. Then worked together to choose a face. Sara wanted heart eyes, Roger thought that would be too tough, so he made circles. Sara wanted a trianlge nose, done. They wanted a smiley mouth with teeth, tough but excellent work. Their process and final product looked like a first experience and it was PERFECT! I'm very proud of them and impressed with the work they did. I took loads of pictures and but lost a huge chunk in the middle too. I was extremely disappointed, but as I'm the one who knocked my camera off the table I can only be annoyed with myself.
It was a great day, a wonderful Halloween and now I'm beat!
Hope tomorrow is quiet and boring. :)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Follow-Up, Routine Change
The Talk about the television issues I was having went about as I'd expected. I stated my perspective and frustrations, Roger said we'd never agree on this issue because they are an everything in moderation type family and my view on this is extreme, but that he does respect my opinion and Sara was the peacemaker, as she has been in the past.
" Samara we respect your view and will talk to eachother to see where we stand. If you have some websites or the reseearch you've mentioned I'd love to look at it. We haven't really researched this and what happened over the weekend was more of an experiment than a plan."
I'm hoping that we can find a balance that suits us both. As noted by yesterday's post I do not see any benefits to babies watching television. I think they miss out on other things and the parents use it as a default and miss excellent opportunities to use their imaginations to come up with suitable activities for the babies and themselves. They think that twenty minutes each week, which will become forty before two weeks have gone by, is fine. The main reason they think this is fine, both Roger and Sara said specifically, is because I'm here all week and I do such a great job with them that on the weekends they don't have to try so hard. Hmmm, and how does this make me feel?
Frustrated.
I understand this perspective and can see it's validity. But I'm here for a few years max, they will be with thier children FOREVER. And shouldn't the best quality time be spent as a family and not with their nanny?!
Unless something changes, I will try not to bring this up again. I'm not using this blog as an outlet for my frustrations but as an opportunity to share what I do. Most folks don't understand, respect or value nannies and I'd like to see that change. I've been doing this long enough to know what works and what doesn't and I feel I have a lot to offer. I work very hard and put 100% into my job. I also love my job and make a pretty good living considering that until Norah finishes her doctorate I'm the primary breadwinner.
UPDATE: Jackson and Tabitha haven't watched television since this event. Sara had no idea about all of the research and has told me it was more of an experiment than anything. We all joke about it from time to time, "it" being my extreme response. I think because I responded so seriously they stepped back and re-evaluated. I'm very happy with the outcome and the discussion made us into a stronger, better communicating team that trusts each other more.
All that aside, you may be wondering how scheduling and naps are going, at least I'd like to think that you are. Things are changing again. Jackson is having a really hard time eating. He screams at his bottle before starting to eat. I've noticed that this is worse when he is tired. Which makes sense, tolerance is lower when we are tired. They are both eating less at certain times and we've been having trouble with the last two bottle of the day running into each other. Roger and Sara have decided the third nap of the day is optional. They decided to skip it all weekend. I think that this is contributing the the sleep issues, both babies being overtired. Because one, a nanny, has to choose her battles, I'm letting this one go. I can't control what they do on the weekends and have other concerns surfacing.
If we drop one of the bottles we can make an actual dinner-bottle and drop the going to sleep bottle. This opens up the bedtime routine to actual together time. Right now it focuses on food. They don't need that and once they start getting teeth that would need to change anyway. Since they are five months that could start happening anytime. It is unlikely because they were three months early, but it is indeed possible. Changing the bottle schedule and bedtime routine opens a lot of doors and only closes the door to needing a bottle to go to sleep.
The bedtime routine looked like this last night;
6pm Samara leaves, playtime begins
bath, bottle, snuggles before bed at 7-ish, this is always variable because playtime, bathtime, feeding time, burping time, etc are all variable. Removing some of the parts of the equation should make this period more predictable.
In turn the wake up time would become more reliable. On an average day they wake between 6-7am to have a bottle then go back to bed. The later they go back down after this bottle the less likely they are to actually sleep, the more likely they are to start their day tired and short-tempered.
With the last bottle of the day happening before I leave, at the same time each evening, the morning bottle should follow in line behind. We'll see how this goes. If this works then the evening catnap is gone and morning predictably reigns.
I'll keep you posted!
Yesterday I photographed the babies bottles because there were so many and after I took two out the pattern surprised me. It was also the end of their little square containers. Now there are fewer bottles because we are now at four per day. Wish us luck!
" Samara we respect your view and will talk to eachother to see where we stand. If you have some websites or the reseearch you've mentioned I'd love to look at it. We haven't really researched this and what happened over the weekend was more of an experiment than a plan."
I'm hoping that we can find a balance that suits us both. As noted by yesterday's post I do not see any benefits to babies watching television. I think they miss out on other things and the parents use it as a default and miss excellent opportunities to use their imaginations to come up with suitable activities for the babies and themselves. They think that twenty minutes each week, which will become forty before two weeks have gone by, is fine. The main reason they think this is fine, both Roger and Sara said specifically, is because I'm here all week and I do such a great job with them that on the weekends they don't have to try so hard. Hmmm, and how does this make me feel?
Frustrated.
I understand this perspective and can see it's validity. But I'm here for a few years max, they will be with thier children FOREVER. And shouldn't the best quality time be spent as a family and not with their nanny?!
Unless something changes, I will try not to bring this up again. I'm not using this blog as an outlet for my frustrations but as an opportunity to share what I do. Most folks don't understand, respect or value nannies and I'd like to see that change. I've been doing this long enough to know what works and what doesn't and I feel I have a lot to offer. I work very hard and put 100% into my job. I also love my job and make a pretty good living considering that until Norah finishes her doctorate I'm the primary breadwinner.
UPDATE: Jackson and Tabitha haven't watched television since this event. Sara had no idea about all of the research and has told me it was more of an experiment than anything. We all joke about it from time to time, "it" being my extreme response. I think because I responded so seriously they stepped back and re-evaluated. I'm very happy with the outcome and the discussion made us into a stronger, better communicating team that trusts each other more.
All that aside, you may be wondering how scheduling and naps are going, at least I'd like to think that you are. Things are changing again. Jackson is having a really hard time eating. He screams at his bottle before starting to eat. I've noticed that this is worse when he is tired. Which makes sense, tolerance is lower when we are tired. They are both eating less at certain times and we've been having trouble with the last two bottle of the day running into each other. Roger and Sara have decided the third nap of the day is optional. They decided to skip it all weekend. I think that this is contributing the the sleep issues, both babies being overtired. Because one, a nanny, has to choose her battles, I'm letting this one go. I can't control what they do on the weekends and have other concerns surfacing.
If we drop one of the bottles we can make an actual dinner-bottle and drop the going to sleep bottle. This opens up the bedtime routine to actual together time. Right now it focuses on food. They don't need that and once they start getting teeth that would need to change anyway. Since they are five months that could start happening anytime. It is unlikely because they were three months early, but it is indeed possible. Changing the bottle schedule and bedtime routine opens a lot of doors and only closes the door to needing a bottle to go to sleep.
The bedtime routine looked like this last night;
6pm Samara leaves, playtime begins
bath, bottle, snuggles before bed at 7-ish, this is always variable because playtime, bathtime, feeding time, burping time, etc are all variable. Removing some of the parts of the equation should make this period more predictable.
In turn the wake up time would become more reliable. On an average day they wake between 6-7am to have a bottle then go back to bed. The later they go back down after this bottle the less likely they are to actually sleep, the more likely they are to start their day tired and short-tempered.
With the last bottle of the day happening before I leave, at the same time each evening, the morning bottle should follow in line behind. We'll see how this goes. If this works then the evening catnap is gone and morning predictably reigns.
I'll keep you posted!
Yesterday I photographed the babies bottles because there were so many and after I took two out the pattern surprised me. It was also the end of their little square containers. Now there are fewer bottles because we are now at four per day. Wish us luck!
Monday, October 29, 2007
Precious Time
During this weekend my little tomatoes were subjected to Baby Einstein.
Sara's justification to me, went like this,
"I said Roger don't tell Samara! ... I know that you don't think they should watch tv but it isn't like we let them watch four hours of television like some people. ... I think in moderation it is okay. Just twenty minutes a few times a week isn't a big deal. ... I watched it with them. ... " And so on.
If something needs that much of a confession followed by six justifying reasons from Sara and a few thrown in by Roger - do they really think it is okay?
I'm really, really upset about this. Babies have so much to learn, so many experiences to have while they are making those synaptic connections. Their rate of learning drops off significantly at six months, then stays steady until three years when it slows considerably. Why would you waste any of those precious moments on flashing pictures and good music simplified into annoying bits of noise?
People have to work, I can understand this. But your baby only has so many waking hours each week. If I'm spending the bulk of those hours with your children, shouldn't you cherish the 25 awake hours with them? Especially considering that during those 25 hours you subtract twelve for napping? That leaves 13 hours each week that these parents can spend with their TWO infants and they threw away half an hour on nothing? I'm shaping these kids five out of seven days and their input is sitting next to each other and not thinking? Setting up habits and patterns that could lead to speech delays, psychological disorders, sleep problems, irritability and obesity?!
What a waste.
I looked up some more info on the internet. If you are interested, it supports my views that watching television with babies is a waste of time, energy and brain power.
ADHD
Basics:
No child under age two should watch television at all, the Academy of American Pediatrics advised in 1998. Doctors blame TV for increasing aggression and obesity in children, now they add ADHD risk to early TV use.
Babies brains grow rapidly
Even a child playing with its own fingers has the neural patterning that comes from bending, flexing, stretching and grasping. Scientists tell us that the brain develops in completely unique ways between birth and three years. As a kiddie viddie baby sits "mesmerized", neural paths are not being created. This is crucial brain development that stops by age three.
Delayed Language skills.
The Seattle team surveyed more than 1000 families in February 2006 and found that — on parents' reports — infants between eight months and 16 months who regularly watched Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby videos knew substantially fewer words — six to eight out of 90 — than infants who did not watch them.
Less time spent interacting with others.
Researchers fear that excessive exposure to media among very young children may lead to problems of attention control, aggressive behavior and poor cognitive development.
Aggressiveness.
We know from studies of newborn rats that if you expose them to different levels of visual stimuli ... the architecture of the brain looks very different."
Watching TV can become a habit for your child. Help your child find other things to do with his time, such as the following:
• Playing
• Reading
• Activities with family, friends, or neighbors
• Learning a hobby, sport, instrument, or an art
The following people and places can provide you with more information about the proper role of TV in your child's life:
• Your pediatrician may have information about TV or can help you get it through the American Academy of
Pediatrics. Ask for the AAP brochure Understanding the Impact of Media on Children and Teens
• Public service groups publish newsletters that review programs and give tips on how to make TV a positive
experience for you and your child. Check with your pediatrician.
ADHD Link.
TV watching "rewires" an infant's brain... Even a child playing with its own fingers has the neural patterning that comes from bending, flexing, stretching and grasping.
Sara's justification to me, went like this,
"I said Roger don't tell Samara! ... I know that you don't think they should watch tv but it isn't like we let them watch four hours of television like some people. ... I think in moderation it is okay. Just twenty minutes a few times a week isn't a big deal. ... I watched it with them. ... " And so on.
If something needs that much of a confession followed by six justifying reasons from Sara and a few thrown in by Roger - do they really think it is okay?
I'm really, really upset about this. Babies have so much to learn, so many experiences to have while they are making those synaptic connections. Their rate of learning drops off significantly at six months, then stays steady until three years when it slows considerably. Why would you waste any of those precious moments on flashing pictures and good music simplified into annoying bits of noise?
People have to work, I can understand this. But your baby only has so many waking hours each week. If I'm spending the bulk of those hours with your children, shouldn't you cherish the 25 awake hours with them? Especially considering that during those 25 hours you subtract twelve for napping? That leaves 13 hours each week that these parents can spend with their TWO infants and they threw away half an hour on nothing? I'm shaping these kids five out of seven days and their input is sitting next to each other and not thinking? Setting up habits and patterns that could lead to speech delays, psychological disorders, sleep problems, irritability and obesity?!
What a waste.
I looked up some more info on the internet. If you are interested, it supports my views that watching television with babies is a waste of time, energy and brain power.
ADHD
Basics:
No child under age two should watch television at all, the Academy of American Pediatrics advised in 1998. Doctors blame TV for increasing aggression and obesity in children, now they add ADHD risk to early TV use.
Babies brains grow rapidly
Even a child playing with its own fingers has the neural patterning that comes from bending, flexing, stretching and grasping. Scientists tell us that the brain develops in completely unique ways between birth and three years. As a kiddie viddie baby sits "mesmerized", neural paths are not being created. This is crucial brain development that stops by age three.
Delayed Language skills.
The Seattle team surveyed more than 1000 families in February 2006 and found that — on parents' reports — infants between eight months and 16 months who regularly watched Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby videos knew substantially fewer words — six to eight out of 90 — than infants who did not watch them.
Less time spent interacting with others.
Researchers fear that excessive exposure to media among very young children may lead to problems of attention control, aggressive behavior and poor cognitive development.
Aggressiveness.
We know from studies of newborn rats that if you expose them to different levels of visual stimuli ... the architecture of the brain looks very different."
Watching TV can become a habit for your child. Help your child find other things to do with his time, such as the following:
• Playing
• Reading
• Activities with family, friends, or neighbors
• Learning a hobby, sport, instrument, or an art
The following people and places can provide you with more information about the proper role of TV in your child's life:
• Your pediatrician may have information about TV or can help you get it through the American Academy of
Pediatrics. Ask for the AAP brochure Understanding the Impact of Media on Children and Teens
• Public service groups publish newsletters that review programs and give tips on how to make TV a positive
experience for you and your child. Check with your pediatrician.
ADHD Link.
TV watching "rewires" an infant's brain... Even a child playing with its own fingers has the neural patterning that comes from bending, flexing, stretching and grasping.
ANGRY!!
I am so ANGRY!! Mondays can be tough, especially when it comes to transitions between parents and nannies with infants - toddlers and children as well. But what happened this weekend has just had me fuming all morning. I'll post as soon as I can get some cohearent thoughts together.
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