Frustrating Ideas

Four days off work leaves plenty of time for surfing the web, relaxing at home and loads and loads of time to think, contemplate and assess my beliefs. This morning I've found focus and fuel for my thinking. A blogpost from a blog that my wife reads really caught my attention.

I'm sure you can guess the topic of conversation. One of my favorites, sleep. And there's not much surprise coming here - I completely disagree with the woman. She talks of the dangers of Ferber and sleep training because children are only children once. But I think that she's missing the point.

In an ideal situation no one would ever need to ferberize their kids. But using a cry-it-out method is the fastest and easiest way to correct negative habits that have been formed.

We've had one child in the past decade who slept perfectly and grew faster than a weed. She was massive and happy and unbelievably healthy. The day her mother returned from the hospital she handed her over and said, "I'm [40] too old for this." And that was it. The work day went from ten hours to twenty-two during that interaction. The two hours off were from 7am until 9am to sleep uninterrupted. But you know what? Feisty little Eleanor made known what she needed. Each little cue was met and responded to from day one. Around six weeks old her schedule seemed to take form and by three months old Eleanor was sleeping regularly, eating like a pack of wild mustangs and her growth was off the charts. She was happy, sociable and healthy. She slept all night long her her own bed every night and twice each day. She never cried it out one minute that entire time.

Now I hear the skeptics out there. I can quote them,
"Temperaments are different."
"Children are different."
"She was a unique case."

And my response?
THAT'S TRUE.
Temperaments ARE different.
Children ARE different.
Eleanor IS unique.

But you know what? There are consistencies across the differences. That is why a person who is good with children is generally good with EVERY child they meet. Despite their differences. Because along with differences come similarities. These same ideas work with potty-learning as well.

That's what I have today. Now back to work. I need to get things done!

Thanksgiving Eve.

Wow, I haven't posted here since July. That was such a long time ago. And the issues with my work environment feel like a lifetime ago. Things are great! I have so much to be thankful for here on Thanksgiving Eve.

Work is wonderful. The tomatoes are amazing. As I read through some of the posts just before the last I saw the post about Tabitha taking her first steps. That seems like decades ago. Now she runs. She jumps. She climbs everything - she can nearly climb into her crib by herself - she's just so much deeper than she was in July. 

And Jackson, well, he took much, much longer to begin walking. He discovered, just after Tabitha perfected her walking, that traveling on his knees in an upright position was just as good as walking. At least he thought so. He didn't want to stop. EI would come without suggestions. It was terribly exhausting and hard. Going to the playground meant he was stationary or covered in woodchips. I was worried about winter and taking him out in the snow. Then, with quite a bit of encouragement and persistence on my part, he started walking. Just a little at first. Like Tabitha he tripped easily and needed to be helped up often. But now, you'd never guess. The boy jumps like a madman. He 's light on his feet and loves to dance. He's started running. 

But this is all recap. The big news that I have for you, probably one of the main reasons that things are going so well, is that both tomatoes talk like crazy! The chatter like little monkeys incessantly. And they have at least fifty words - in TWO languages! 

They play games with each other. They've stopped biting. THANK YOU GOD! They still fight over toys and books (I can't tell you how many times each day I remind them to share) but they love each other! It is awesome. They play pretend. Pretending with objects and without. We color with crayons and have taken two classes. Next week we'll start our third. 

Oh! And we only take one nap now! Only.ONE.Nap.!. It was a tough transition, but two naps were more stress than they were worth. The quantity of sleep they get each day decreased significantly, something I was not pleased with at all, but overall it's been good. 

I'm so happy! They are so adorable! And there's so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving out there blogosphere.

"wait and see"

After a bit of talking I'm headed down the road of "wait and see" with my voice having been heard. Putting the blog back up as I give things a good go.

Last Post

After 226 posts I'm making this blog private as I think my stay here will be short. Currently things aren't going very well here and if I'm not here there is no reason to continue this blog. 

Thank you for your readership. All of your comments and continued visits have given a confidence in my writing completely new to me. Thank You.

Headed down the short road?

There has been a flurry of activity here lately. Visitors, activities and changes have invaded our calm little preemie world - that rarely feels preemie anymore. 

Tabitha can walk, she's taken loads of steps, cruises between people and furniture but for the most part continues to use crawling as her default. 

Jackson can't see what all the fuss is about and is mastering standing. He's still a bit smaller than Tabitha and such a compact little grape tomato. 

On the downside both tomatoes are fully established screamers. I take no credit for this whatsoever. Roger and Sara are the encourages, rewarders and purveyors of all things scream. Never have any of my kids (or babies) been screamers, ever. It is one of my least favorite things only beaten by biters.

Oh, have I mentioned? Jackson is a biter! Oh yes! Thanks to Roger, not me, not Sara, Roger is fully responsible for this wonderful new side of Jackson - Jacko the Biter. Of course poor Tabitha gets the worst of it because she doesn't even see it coming. Roger lets him do it so when Roger isn't around Tabitha has become his object of choice.

But you know how these things go, they come in threes. Double screaming and extreme biting are being followed by sibling aggression - which is gaining popularity quickly! By the end of the month this may become our favorite activity, punctuated with screams and biting of course as they never go out of fashion.

I can't say whether my job here is headed down a very short road, because I am a person who enjoys a good challenge. But I must be honest, the thought has crossed my mind more than a few times. One of the parents is going through a midlife crisis. They've quit their job and spend their days in and out, shopping and questioning every. little. thing. that. goes. on. To say it is exhausting would be an understatement. Having worked with so many families before this and only having biters in families with upheaval and inconsistency, once either Norah or I had left, I know that the road biting takes is a long and painful one. And the screaming. GOODNESS but the screaming. Roger and Sara encourage it. It annoys them and they encourage it, whether intentionally or not they know they are doing it. Yet it continues. 

The best part though?

These kids are SO smart. They get it. When Roger and Sara are out, when it's just me and them - they don't scream, they don't bite and we don't have trouble. But those times are becoming fewer and farther between. I'm a patient person but there is only so much one can take. There's only so much one should take. I may be reaching the end. I'm going to give it my best, but my time for parenting the parents was in the beginning, I shouldn't be expelling more energy on them then the kids at this point.

Stepping out with my baby . . .

Oh My Goodness! Oh My Goodness! Oh My Goodness!

This not blogging thing is just happening, it's completely unplanned, but I've got news that just HAD to be blogged this evening. (part of the trouble is I only blog at work and not during my free times in the evening)

Tabitha took her first steps!!!!!

Tabitha took her 1ST STEPS!!!

This evening, after a very full day, a long afternoon nap and some lone playtime with her brother, I invited Tabitha to walk between Norah and me. It was AWESOME! She only took three steps, right. left. right. at once, total, but she did it. I was thrilled.

Of course, I was SO thrilled that she began to prefer only me and stopped walking to Norah or even Sara once she joined us. I'd put her in front of the other person but she only wanted to walk to me. It was kinda nice to be the favorite for a minute as I make, enforce and get the most flack for setting limits and following through.

It was beautiful. Truly thrilling and wonderful. Both Tomatoes are thirteen months this week. Could you believe that twenty-five weekers could be SO average?!

Obviously they aren't average in any way. It is extraordinary that they can compete with their full term peers and keep up with the norms. I'm really very proud and impressed with them. EI has even said they no longer need services and when their evaluation comes up, a year from beginning services, they will no longer qualify!

Poor, forgotten blog.

It's true, as the days get longer and the Tomatoes become more and more mobile, I think less and less of blogging their trials and tribulations. It's actually pretty silly to stop blogging at this point as they are growing and changing at breakneck speeds and I can hardly remember everything they've done.

They are talking. Not sentences or infinite understandable words, but both are communicating. "More" is one of their best words. Although, in true twin fashion, they say it as differently as possible. Tabitha does the baby sign for more and Jackson says "mo" "mo". Both are absolutely adorable. They make eye contact before and after and then get this look of complete and total pride. It's perfect. Unless you knew, you'd never guess that they were born at 25 weeks. They are truly amazing.

As of last week Tabitha is cruising. Between furniture, along furniture, it is a very exciting development.

Jackson is pulling up with fury. He can do it as often as Tabitha and he gets down in the normal way, by bending his knees. Tabitha is still plopping down onto her bottom. She's gotten her technique down and rarely falls over onto her head, unless she lands on top of something and falls just so. This only happens once out of a hundred or so plops. I imagine she'll get tired of this method at some point, but I could be wrong. Luckily Jackson tried her way and much prefers the way we've shown and encouraged. We can only hope he sticks with it.

I'm working on a video of the tomatoes. It's been a long time since pictures of any sort were on this blog and I'd like to slowly change that. This video, once finished, will be the first step.

Happy Father's Day to all the daddies, granddaddies and baba-daddies out there.

Making time to blog . . .

Taking time to sit still and blog is getting harder and harder. While there are plenty of opportunities during each day to sit still, I rarely feel like using them for blogging unless I am annoyed and need an outlet to vent. That must make this blog really boring to read, although that doesn't seem to matter as most of my readers have disappeared anyway. Not that I mind much, it takes my self-inflicted pressure off, kinda.

With such mobile tomatoes I want to keep moving too. Or I just want to watch them. Watch Tabitha stand up. See Jackson crawl. I love the movements that are starting to look like dancing and the way crawling comes naturally and looks more like ballet than work.

Teeny-tiny bell flowers throughout this tree.

Lint.

Little Lily of the Valley

Full Bloom

The Public Garden is one of my favorite places in all of Boston. I especially love the tulips that bloom bright and beautiful around my birthday each year. 

Boston's Beautiful Public Garden

Duckling Day

Unique and Special.

Look at this beautiful tree!

Start As You Mean To Go On. . . UPDATE

I am pleased to report that before I left work on Wednesday I talked with Roger and Sara about my concerns. Sara stated simply that they are only human and there's only so much they can do which of course made me feel totally guilty. They are great parents and really doing an amazing job every. single. day. And I'm proud of them.

I also know that my standards are very, very high and meeting them isn't something I expect of most people. It's not because I want others to disappoint me that my standards are so high but if I can do it, why can't everyone, is kind of my thinking. But I doubt most people find the same things I find as important as I find them. I'm sure there are loads of reasons for this, my childhood probably one of the biggest.

I digress, this post was meant to update and focus on how thrilled and proud I felt to see Sara start dinner for everyone while Roger entertained both Tomatoes on Wednesday as I got ready to leave. Even if they can't do it every night, making the effort and realizing it is a big deal, is a great and wonderful step.

Side notes:
Roger's perspective focused on how many opportunities they'll have for family dinners, why rush. I had to be honest and tell him that before he realizes it they will be four years old and he'll not know where the time went. He wasn't bothered by this in any way. So I asked how long he thought they'd sit and listen to him and want to be at family dinners. He was sure they'd last until the tomatoes were at least sixty. Yes, I typed that correctly, 60 not 16. Funny following his conversation with me this morning about what one would do with their life if one found out they only had a month to live.

Sara's view centered on how they'd (she and Roger) had grown up having family dinners so she wasn't worried about never getting to them, of course they'd make them happen at some point. Of course as she said this Roger asked her what she was talking about. He'd never had family dinners growing up. And she went on to explain that her family dinners consisted of her mom calling her dad to dinner and him arriving about an hour later after they'd all finished.

It's my own little thing but I'm so happy believing that they all sat down to dinner Wednesday night together. [ And while it wasn't exciting or anything life altering, they did sit down together and enjoyed it as much as they could. The best part is now that they've done it once they know they can do it. ]

Start As You Mean To Go On.

Said Family Dinner did not occur last night. Roger and sara did push bedtime to 7:45 pm. Crazy. Both babies, extremely overtired from lack of afternoon nap and late bedtime, woke at an earlier than usual 6:45 am. Of course there's only so much a little tomato can take and Jackson compensated with a longer than usual two hour nap this morning. Because he can't let me think he actually enjoys sleeping he's upstairs boycotting his afternoon nap as I type. Tabitha, exhausted because her morning nap ended an hour before Jackson's did, is sound asleep after a short period of crib play.

Roger and sara have starting brushing their teeth. Conveniently this coincides with Jackson's third tooth popping through up top (third total, first on top). We've begun the great journey to bottle weaning. So far we've been pretty unsuccessful. Neither tomato finds the sippy spout as pleasing as the nipple. Wait a bit longer you say. I hear you, but, getting used to the sippy spout isn't our only issue, just offering them the nipple doesn't make feeding any easier. We are transitioning folks and it's not pretty.

Actually I'm pretty hung up on this family dinner thing. They skipped it last night because the tomatoes were hungry. And what does that mean? It is Roger and Sara saying that preparing their food and the tomatoes food and sitting down together was too hard so they didn't even try. Forget all of Roger's tirades about doing what's best for the babies even when it's inconvenient for them, it isn't true. What they did last night was about them. It made things easier for them so they skipped it. but here's the deal - IT WILL ONLY GET HARDER. Not only will this set up expectations for Jackson and Tabitha, it will set up habits for Roger and Sara, breaking those habits and changing those expectations will be infinitely harder than creating the situation and expectations you are going for from the beginning. Start as you mean to go on.

210th post!

Tomatoes are doing well.

Jackson is having sleep issues that we are working on. He's waking in the night, not every night but 4 out of 7. He doesn't cry, just plays then goes back to sleep. The problem is, it's breaking his deep sleep and shortening his sleep cycles. This is shortening the amount of time his growth hormone releases or cutting it off almost entirely. Very bad news for our little Jacky. Luckily Sara is the one leading the crusade for better nighttime sleep. I'm very, very happy about this as many days I feel like the Sleep-Obsessor. She's been reading the Ferber book and thinks that he is in bed too long at night. I'm not sure that I agree with this theory but respect the work Ferber has done, one of my previous employers actually worked with Ferber for a few years in his sleep clinic, many of my previous parents have used his book as a guide to establishing consistent and healthy sleep habits, and I am willing to endorse Sara's suggestion based on Ferber's work for the greater good.

Our world it is a-changin'.

Starting this week bedtime will begin to move later. Ten continuous hours of sleep are better than twelve broken ones or two chunk of 5-6 hours. We will slowly move both tomatoes to an eight o'clock bedtime, from their current bedtime of 6:45-7:15 pm. In addition Sara and Roger will move the bedtime bottle earlier, something we've been talking about for awhile and they've been occasionally working on, giving Jackson his bottle before bath opposed to after. To make this entire transition easier and better for everyone we will begin FAMILY DINNERS.

Family dinners are an important part of childhood and family development. Taking time each day to sit together and socialize has an infinite amount of benefits, most of which are beyond what I can cover here. Sara, Roger and I have been talking about the benefits of family dinners since my interview before the babies left the NICU. Because they return from work later in the evening the exact date we began family dinners has been up in the air. With the institution of a later bedtime there is no reason not to begin immediately.

So, I'm giving up my desire to have a nice twelve hours in bed every night for the betterment of their family bonding, growth and better quality sleep, we hope. I don't do this lightly but Sara and I talked together and we both see the other's perspective and best needs of the tomatoes being at the forefront.

I have much more to tell, maybe later today or tomorrow.
Happy Tuesday bloggers and readers.

Snowy Springtime?

It is amazing how fast things can snowball in a babies' world. Yesterday we enjoyed the beautiful Spring weather for nearly two hours, went down for a slightly later nap and ended up with only 45 minutes each. I waited a bit to go in, as I always do, and when things had quieted down I took my opportunity. Unfortunately Tabitha may have been about to go back to sleep, but I didn't know this before going in. Had she snoozed some more Jackson may have followed her lead and gotten a bit too.

They were tired, obviously, having only slept 45 the entire afternoon. We kept it low-key and I informed Sara of the details stressing that they'd probably be ready for bed sooner rather than later. Generally Roger and Sara have about an hour window during which the time they put the tomatoes down varies. I was suggesting that after so much fresh air and so little afternoon napping they'd enjoy the earlier time.

Of course what do I know.

Roger and sara kept them up later than usual and surprisingly enough they woke up earlier than usual, crying. Jackson and Tabitha never wake in the morning crying, not since they were a couple months old. They had very little sleep on Sunday and have gradually been inching closer to normal as the week has gone on. Maybe catching up a bit, but still behind on what keeps them at their best.

You see where this is going?
They are clingy and exhausted today. Jackson doesn't want to eat. Tabitha only wants to be held. It isn't pretty or fun to listen to. Thankfully during the day I set the schedule and they took a nice morning nap. Not too long ago I put them down early for their afternoon nap and they fell asleep right away.

I'm hoping to stop this snowball before it becomes Frosty.

One day at a time . . .

Getting back on the blog-wagon seems a daunting task. But I'm telling myself if I just try one day at a time, I'll be there before I know it. So here I am again. Sharing the news of Tomatoes, New England, and the ponderings of this nanny.

(and apparently a lot of photo links!)

Tomatoes are doing well. Aside from Spring rain keeping us indoors, we're busy exploring our world - inside and out.

Jackson has figured out, by observing Tabitha, that crawling over to me and tapping on my slipper gets him picked up and kissed. He's very proud of himself for figuring this out and addicted to the kisses. Although, to be 100% honest, I'd say he'd enjoy being tickled and maneuvered about as much as he enjoys being cuddled. And I do interchange the two.

Tabitha has increased her practice time to include trying to stand in her crib. She's yet to figure it out but works at it for a good twenty minutes every time she's put into bed. Often she tries longer but she always gets tired and eventually goes to sleep.

Both Tomatoes are greatly enjoying the freedom that only comes after RSV season. They are extremely social babies and love interacting with strangers. I love talking with other adults, it is so much better than playing stroller goalie and making sure everyone keeps a five foot distance. And seeing the tomatoes respond to children is the best. Recently a preschooler made fast friends with both babies and they couldn't get enough. The chattering and touching and interplay between the three of them was beautiful. Little Mr. Jackson Smiles couldn't get enough. And Missy Tabitha Observer with her watchful eyes took every little bit in.

Sunhats are here and being broken in. Sunscreen is next and I'm looking forward to the increased freedom it brings. The park is great but I'm hoping to find more playgrounds near by. We need one of those playscapes for tiny kids surrounded by the soft turf to really encourage their crawling and climbing. Haven't found one yet, but there's bound to be one somewhere, right? I mean, nearly one year olds and woodchips just don't mix. The crawling and sticking. The mouthing everything and rolling. Those little hands and splinters. These combinations just don't work. Even sand would be preferable, although Roger wouldn't agree. He's very concerned about the idea of his little tomatoes eating sand. Says he never did it and they won't either. Have I ever mentioned that Roger was an only child?

Growth and Opportunity

Hello out there! I've been consumed by another project, alright, there are a few, and neglecting this blog. But I'm here to give you an update and hopefully jump back on the blog-wagon.

The Tomatoes are doing great!
Tabitha crawls everywhere and has recently become obsessed with climbing people. She'll climb other objects but prefers people. She's been enjoying a good crawl over, grab hold, then she lifts onto her knees. Over the last week we've regarded this as her favorite position. But Tabitha, she is a-changin'. Knees aren't enough, now our eleven month old missy wants to be all the way up on her feet. And this girl is tall! She's still in the 50th percentile for height and weight for her actual age - we're only correcting for developmental assessment purposes - otherwise missy Tabitha is jamming along! How one tiny little-grape tomato born an entire trimester early can just catch up in a matter of months is beside me, but she sees to be doing it. And make no mistake, she's HUGE!! Depending on the article, manufacturer, and cut of clothing she can wear a size 18 months or a 3T, oh yes, I said a 3T!!

Jackson is still quite a bit smaller. Being a boy he is just barely on the chart, just. barely. But he's definitely growing and looks AMAZING. He still has trouble with ref1ux and with all of the food he eats has some terribly stinky spit ups. But he does eat, loves the solids and the ref1ux doesn't seem to hinder his sleep. His crawling is less traditional, it's more of a seal crawl then a hands and knees crawl. It seems to take quite a bit of work, effort + energy, and he was only using it when he really wanted something for about two weeks. As he's perfected his skills and increased stamina and determination, he's gotten faster. Now he does a seal crawl on hyper speed which looks a lot like this in action. It's unbelievably cute, especially next to his perfectly determined to do it perfectly crawling sister. I've actually taken a video of them racing and hope to get it on our sister site this week or next. They really are too cute.

Now both Tomatoes (and of course when I say Tomatoes I mean it in the most beautiful and endearing way, much like this) can get down from a seated position and each has put themselves into a seated position, Jackson by chance and Tabitha purposefully just this week.

They are babbling like crazy, mama, dadad, bababa, variations of my name - especially Jackson, Tabitha prefers to crawl over and pull on my pant-leg, and doing it all the time. There are loads of High5's in the house, clapping and saying "Yay!" are equally prevalent.

Our PT continues to come every week. Soon we may begin climbing stairs.

Roger and Sara seem to be doing well. Although as more developmental growth occurs more discipline related issues arise and I can see more concerns regarding the future. Norah has come across some research regarding preemies-parent interactions based on believed vulnerability. And while both Roger and Sara are doing great jobs I'm trying to find a polite way to suggest they go into therapy. Having a traumatic birth story and NICU stay is a lot harder than most parents are willing to admit. Research has found it may cause PTSD in one or both parents.

Parenting is tough work. Taking care of yourself, your children, your spouse, your career, finances, life in general is a lot of work. Taking regular time to stop and have another person only think about you - that would be great for every parent (nearly every person if you ask me), imagine how stress-relieving it could be for a parent who has even more on their plate. Going the therapy doesn't imply that one is broken and needs fixing, it just allows one an opportunity. The opportunity itself is variable and differs from person to person. But if one has adequate healthcare and can make and hour every other month, month, week, why not give oneself that opportunity?

Tomorrow is Equal Pay Day

As I consider wearing red tomorrow, I am surprised at the direction my thoughts take. I may be in one of the few careers where a woman generally makes more money and finds greater job availability than a man. 

Spring thoughts . . .

With Spring quickly approaching I gave Sara and Roger a new suggestion, sun hats. While I rarely suggest specific products, I think most things are similar to their competitors and pretty much interchangeable based on style and personal preference, I have two products that I love. I've been using each since my first nanny position nearly ten years ago (May marks ten years).

I didn't mention the first here because I didn't think product pushing was beneficial. but as the sun gets closer and hotter I see the necessity to share my other favorite product and thought I may as well share both.

These bibs rock. They are machine washable, rinsable, dry quickly and last for years. Literally you could probably hand these babies down (nobody I've worked for has been willing to give them up, thus I've never seen them handed down).

And I love these hats. They are stylish, have ties that keep them on, a wide brim that shades the face as well as the neck and they dry quickly. These can definitely be handed down and last for years. We've taken them in the pool, the ocean, the stroller and just out for a walk.

Now, you may see other brands that resemble Bumkins and Flap Happy but aren't these specific brands - my advice? Run! Run far away! Jump on the internet and order these specific brands. They may be a little more expensive but trust me, no parent I've ever worked for has regretted it.

Sunny with a chance of extreme tantrums.

Not much to tell today. Babies are throwing a lot of temper-tantrums and because grandma is here they are getting quite a bit of positive feedback for it. Of course it's exhausting for me and makes each day so long. Roger and Sarah are encouraging them as well, I don't think it's on purpose but it's happening so much. Luckily grandma leaves in two days, then we'll have a few weeks break before the next grandma arrives. It's going to be a long couple of months! After that there's another grandma coming.

In the meantime . . .

Development Update

Hey! Long time no see!

I was away over the weekend and have spent most of the week recuperating. Travel was exhausting but my actual reunion was amazing. I had an awesome time and life is good. I took loads of pictures hoping that in some way they could hold me until the next reunion. Of course they won't but they did take me through most of this week. I looked at the last batch this morning. Yep, two thousand photos took me five days to get through. If only there could be more . . .

But I'm sure you are much more interested in hearing about the tomatoes. Good thing because I actually logged on to talk about them. They are both doing really well. Tabitha now has two tiny bottom teeth to match Jackson's. Neither are really noticeable to the camera lens thus we have no photos of them yet. But don't you worry, once it's possible there will be loads of documentary photos.

Both are excellent sitters. Tabitha can get down from a sit onto her tummy without trouble although in the last two days she's started bumping her head on the way down. Not sure if it's the audience, her moving faster, weight change, growth, or something else completely but it's happened quite a few times. It doesn't seem to be her vision because she's just about CRAWLING!!! Hands and knees, moving one at a time and going forward in a straight line towards a goal. This morning her goal was me. I said to her, if you come over here I'll pick you up. It took her a good ten minutes but she brought herself right over, no distractions, and the party began! I am so proud of her! She'll learn my weakness early, if you come over to me, I'll pick you up. Of course, there's no guarantee how long I'll hold you, but the immediate response and reward will be there.

Jackson is doing an amazing job in the social realm. He too wants to crawl but focuses so much energy on interactions that he's easily distracted from his goal. He does get onto hands and knees but when he lifts one up it generally takes him backwards, pretty frustrating for him and any on lookers.

Napping is improving. We seem to be going in waves. Two great days on, one or one and a half mediocre or bad days, then another one or two good days. This week is a bit off as their grandmother, paternal, is visiting. She has only visited one other time since their birth over ten months ago. They were still in the NICU last time so getting to spend this much time with them is just what she hoped.

Finally the screaming. While we seemed to be making progress everything fell apart when I took Friday off. Roger decided he felt bad telling Tabitha not to scream and they called the pediatrician with tales of whoa. Told him she'd been screaming and we'd started telling her to stop. Said that it had been days since she'd made any sound at all. He responded that any sound is better than no sound and that we should stop telling her not to scream. We should go back to ignoring her or distracting her.

Okay, I was here everyday until Friday. There wasn't one part of any day that she remained silent. She's stopped screaming and begun making other sounds, bababa, dadada, etc. They called the pediatrician on Friday morning. Since I left here an hour before she went to bed on Thursday, there was no length of time for her to have been silent. Seriously.

You can't imagine how frustrating this is. Honestly. Completely and totally frustrating.

Now, the rest of this story . . .

Of course Norah asked her boss, who works with developmentally delayed kids, speech delayed kids, mr kids, autistic kids, you name it, they diagnose and evaluate kids, about all of this. And her boss was appalled. She said that the ONLY time you'd say that any sound is better than no sound is if the kid is mentally retarded. Neither Tabitha nor Jackson are anywhere near MR, so the pediatrician's suggestion is complete bs. Norah's boss went on to say that if Tabitha can understand that we don't want her to scream and she stops when we tell her that's a great sign and continuing to tell her no screaming is fine.

So, I took as much screaming as I could and then when I couldn't take anymore, I started telling her no screaming again. And you know what happened? The girl who had been silent, except for screaming, since I returned on Monday, started making sounds again - old sounds and new sounds. Using different parts of her mouth, different tones and pitch. But when her parents are around, know what she does? Yep, she screams. And now, because they can't ignore her, she gets rewarded for screaming. Every scream gets attention.

Roger and Sara spoke with EI about speech evaluation, after they'd taken her in for a hearing test, which she passed, because she's completely normal, and EI said what I said. If the screaming is working there's no reason for her to use any other sounds.

Things are looking up.

These last couple of weeks have been pretty exhausting. I was sick, again, both babies had their first colds, Jackson cut his first tooth, they've perfected sitting and we've had PT once each week. Add turning ten months,  our last RSV shots, gaining one pound each and the screaming phase and you've got our entire month of March.

Luckily we are getting more spring-like weather, higher temperatures and moving the screaming out of the house. Because Roger and Sara are who they are, we tried about ten things before they were ready to start telling the tomatoes "no" every time they screamed. Once we all started doing that, the progress was measurable and immediate. Both understand the word no as well as the word yes.

Napping has also hit a few rough patches. Sara asked for a limited period and I tried that for about three weeks. It worked, I'm lying, I was trying to come up with something positive but there's nothing positive about it. It didn't work at all. They'd each sleep 45 minutes and then cry/complain/play/scream until the set amount of time had passed and I'd get them up, crabby, exhausted and we'd all be frustrated. Finally last week I couldn't take it anymore. There is no point getting an exhausted baby out of bed, if they are tired they need sleep, I can't sleep for them thus they get the opportunity to sleep. Tabitha responded immediately. She regularly sleeps 75 to 90 minutes every morning. Jackson improved, started sleeping 45 minutes, instead of the 30 he'd been sleeping, and then, after awhile, another twenty minutes. This week he's doing a set 45, a lot of complaining, then another 45-60. It isn't ideal but it isn't something I can do for him. 

Physical therapy has really been on hyper drive. Both tomatoes rolled from their backs to their front this week. Each can hold a sitting position and without planning has put themselves into a sit from an all fours position. 

Tabitha has started mini-fits at random times. She just bursts out with a cranky-cry-fuss and waits to see if anything happens. No tears or anything. 

As far as their fits go, each has their own unique cry pattern. Tabitha gets angry and yells as if she's been deeply wronged. Jackson kind of whines and cries as if he's been deeply wounded. This is funny because I had a set of twins who were exactly like this, girl like Tabitha and boy like Jackson. They even looked a bit like the tomatoes back then with their huge chubby cheeks.

Substitute nanny today!

Hello everyone, Norah here!  Today Samara is off on a small adventure (I'll let her fill you in if she wants), and I'm here with the babies!  I love them and they love me, we have so much fun together... and yet, today I'm realizing that they can tell that Samara is not here; and me without her is something unusual. When I went to get them up after nap time, Tabitha just kept looking at me with this adorable cute face of confusion! And Jackson, well now, he usually says Dada Dada Dada all day long... but this afternoon? none of that! It's all Sssss, Sssss, Sssss... which I think is because he's looking for Samara!  Smart kiddos!!!

Update, screaming, sitting and Spring!

Things here are plugging along. We've been meeting with the PT each week instead of once per month. Whether or not she believes it helps, we've all seen measurable change. 

1. Both tomatoes are now sitting on their own. 

2. Jackson put himself into a sit one evening last week. 

3. Tabitha can occasionally go from sitting to an all fours position. 

4. This morning Jackson rolled from his back to his stomach for the first time ever. 

On the downside we're still experiencing a lot of screaming. Happy, sad, angry, confused, all they do is scream. Makes it hard for their nanny to think let alone blog. Thus the reason for the long breaks between posts. I just can't think while they scream. Roger and Sara encourage it. we're going to have a talk about it. I can't take much more. Lately they choose to practice screaming rather than cooing or babbling. It's putting their language skills further behind and killing me. Screaming isn't something that just disappears and it can last for YEARS. 

There have been other positives in our world. Each tomato gained a pound in the last six weeks. They have finished their RSV shots and both are currently healthy. Our long, cold, snowy winter only brought one cold and they had it at the same time. There's not much more one can ask for. They are more than ten months old now, robust, healthy and full of personality. 

I'm really looking forward to their birthdays, warmer weather and getting outside more. I can't wait until they are crawling and then walking. I love holding toddlers hands as they plug along. Lucky enough I'm short and this requires no hunching which encourages me to do it on a regular basis, once they can mostly walk. I'm also looking forward to new toys and finger foods. Cheer!os have already entered the house although neither tomato knows what to do with them. Roger and Sara have a detailed list of toy suggestions and ideas, hopefully some of which will surface in the next couple of weeks.

This weekend I'm headed out of town and hoping to return to Spring. Keep your fingers crossed, yesterday there were at least three Duck Boats in the river so it has to be coming. And crocuses! I saw crocuses on my commute in today!

Our 1st tooth!

Last night Sara found the teeniest-tiniest littlest tooth in Jackson's mouth! Jackson just cut his first tooth!!

She's a sitter!

Tabitha is a sitter!!

She can sit!!

Tabitha has been sitting most of the day!

Three cheers for Tabitha,
Hip-Hip-Hooray!
Hip-Hip-Hooray!
Hip-Hip-Hooray!

Today is Tabitha's sitting day - yippee-hooray!!!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

After an especially long and frustrating day of work I don't have much to share with you. Just a note to say, Happy St. Patty's Day!

Special Playtime.

Both tomatoes are doing fine. Their colds seem to be improving daily. They are sleeping well at least once per day then taking two shorter naps. Actually, that is an over-simplification.

Jackson can do three short naps, uggh, or one great nap and two short naps. They are evenly spaced and he seems to move through the day well / gets enough sleep overall. If we dropped that final nap he may increase the length of his other two naps, but he enjoys it so much, I don't want to deprive him.

Tabitha has actually been napping like a poster child for naps. She naps about 90 minutes in the morning, around 75-80 minutes in the afternoon then pushes through until bedtime. She wakes in great moods and has plenty of energy. Sadly she's been fussy despite this. Norah suggested that we have special Samara-Tabitha playtime to ease her frustrations and hopefully help decrease her negative behaviors, i.e. screaming, fits, intentional grumpiness, inability to play alone, etc. Our gol is to play together for five minutes everyday, completely Tabitha centered.

This sounds pretty simple and straight-forward, but it's tougher than you'd think. There are lots of rules in order to get it right. It's based on a proven study they've been doing, with preemies specifically, that are having problem behaviors at home. As a rule they use toddlers and problem behaviors are various, ranging from the extreme to the mild. Most don't do it with babies, but it can't hurt so we're going to try.

Now for the basic rules, of course I'll probably forget some as we've only practiced once so far. With Tabitha I need to be face to face. For us this means I put her on my lap and semi-support her sitting position (no, neither tomato sits alone yet). I put three to four toys on her lap and let her choose what she'd like to play with, then I just leave the others there. 

As she plays I am not allowed to:

offer toys

ask her questions

request anything of her

I am allowed to:

talk about what she's looking at

respond to her positive behaviors

i.e. reaching, holding or grasping a toy, keeping herself upright, retrieving a toy she has dropped (I ignore the dropping and NEVER retrieve it for her), etc

reflect her positive noises (ignore the negative)

i.e. cooing, babbling (no scolding for screaming)

We do this for five minutes. I don't tickle her or move her body for her, just support her and give to her. While it may not seem like it, we take a lot from babies. We want them to socialize and smile when we're in the mood. We want interactions and performance wen we have the time. This five minutes is all about giving to Tabitha, no taking. No questions. Do you see the light? Nope, uh-huh. You see the light. I like how you are holding yourself up. Ahhh. Baba. etc. You get the idea.

Now I know this sounds silly. But when we started Tabitha was mad at me. She'd play with her toys but not look me in the eyes. She was with-holding eye contact. Jackson started doing this months ago, but she's only started recently. By the end of our play session, we did ten minutes for the practice, she was making more eye contact, but still not as much as usual. When I first put her down to play, after we'd finished, she was annoyed. I ignored the negative behaviors but praised to the positive to aid the transition. After no more than three minutes she was fine and continued to play happily on her own. The remainder of the day brought increased eye contact, smiles and better interaction for she and I. 

Of course, as these things go, it will get worse before it gets better. I will work hard to do these five minutes each day and she will increase her negative behaviors once our five minutes are over. But, if I keep with it, it's likely that our relationship will improve, her behavior will improve and, as I noticed yesterday, her language, social self and gross motor skills may improve as well.

Sick Tomatoes.

Yes, it's happened. The lil'Tomatoes have their first colds. Poor Roger and Sara are miserable. The Tomatoes are doing fine, little runny noses and some sensitivity for Jackson and Tabitha. Aside from that, nothing's really wrong. But poor Roger and Sara. They are having a tough time of it. This is the first one, the first time their lil'Tomatoes have been sick. It's really really tough the first time. 

Yesterday Sara called twice to check in. Roger requested I take their temperature at least three times. And both were very sensitive, worried and easily over-concerned. I think they've made it through the worst of it, both babies seem to be improving, Roger and Sara are starting to relax and we're getting through the week. 

Keeping the tissues coming until next time.

Saturday with two, two and two!

Norah and I spent Saturday morning with three two year olds, it was AWESOME!! Madison and Addison arrived first. Having seen them last at their birthday party in September (!) they looked completely different. Their faces are such big kid faces. They are still teeny, tiny little tots, I don't use that word lightly, tiny-tots, with more individuality than I could have imagined. Each has their identity and plays into it as much as possible. It was cute, frustrating and at times just plain surprising. While Addison had no trouble bidding Clover and Stephen farewell Madison was a bit more hesitant and clingy. Once they were gone she was perfectly fine with Norah but seemed aloof and downright annoyed with me. Norah suggested that Madison trouble might be frustration with me for leaving her. Quite likely because the girl undoubtedly knew who I was and after a bit was all about me. Which worked well for walking to the pizza parlor as Addison has always had a bit of a crush on Norah and this day was no different. Norah had actually been Cameron's nanny for his first two years, so no question who's hand he wanted to hold, those weekly get-togethers of ours pale in comparison to his love for Norah!

Cameron's mom, Vanessa, is always running late. By the time he was dropped of we only had time to walk over to the pizza parlor before our little children would turn into pumpkins because of naptime.

As luck would have it, the rain held off for our three block walk. All three kiddos were agreeable and chatty. We had a lovely, silly, relaxed and fun lunch. It was a perfect rainy-Spring-weekend-morning. Our walk back was a wet one, rain can only hold off so long, but none of us minded. Clover took Madison and Addison home for their naps and we took Cameron back to our house. He napped in our bed while we dozed on the sofa.

Later I shared photos with Clover, hmm, forgot Vanessa, I'll have to get on that, and received this email from her;

they seemed to have a very good time. they told me, "i had a good time." and "i drank brown milk." and "i ate pizza and salad." and "i just ate pizza." and "i play with letters." and "we don't put it in our mouth." next time hopefully the weather is much nicer!!

Normally we don't give them chocolate milk i.e. "brown milk" but Norah thought they could have a taste for fun. Of course Madison refused to try it, she was appalled that we'd do something so terrible to her milk. Cameron has already had it because Vanessa thinks chocolate is one of the basic food groups, he loves it and kept trying to drink everybody else's! Although, Madison not wanting to try it really bothered him and he wasn't sure he wanted it after she refused it. Of course, being two, he got over that pretty quickly! Addison will eat anything once so he tried it and wished there was more. Of course they ate salad, pizza and regular milk before this brown milk even entered the scene. What a great day! I'm looking forward to seeing them all again soon. Such little cutiepies!

These Growing Tomatoes

Coming around on three weeks I think we may have finally established a regular nap routine. Maybe.

Both tomatoes had established habits of napping 45 minutes and then shouting to the world that they were all set. Knowing them, and babies, as I do, I was pretty sure they were mistaken. Of course getting Roger and Sara on the same page took a bit of discussion.

Working with parents, children and babies leads to theories, ideas and insights that aren't as obvious when your doing things with your first or second child. Maybe if you are Michelle Duggar, mom of seventeen children, you can ay that you have your own theories, ideas and insights that are proven. And I'd be extremely interested in getting any tips, ideas or suggestions. I'm not averse to learning, or trying new things, when there's a chance they come from a tried and tested source.

Back to the napping topic. With a little compromising Roger, Sara and I found a balance between what I thought was best and what they thought they'd be able to do, and agree with. Every morning they go down at the same time and get up at the same time. We have regular meal times, three solid meals per day now!, and an afternoon nap that begins and ends at the same time each day. If they are tired or their naps have been choppy or short they have an optional third nap which, despite what time they fall asleep, must be done with by 5:15 pm. Then we have dinner and as we finish Roger and Sara return from work.

It's taken awhile for everyone to get used to. In the last two days both Jackson and Tabitha have slept more than forty-five minutes during both nap opportunities. It feels good to think we might be on a good road. Of course, everything could change tomorrow, but with two great days under our belt I thought I could share where we are and enjoy being here, if only for today.

Other news . . .

Jackson had his follow up with the urologist. The hole that his pee comes from is still smaller than the doctor would like to see. We should put vasel!ne on it a few times each day and remember to pull his skin back regularly. Luckily Jackson doesn't mind either thing at all.

Tabitha seems to have developed a cold. Her nose is runny and drippy. So far only clear snot, nothing green and for that we are grateful. I've heard of the flu going around as well as some stronger stuff. Of course we want to keep Jackson and Tabitha as far from these germs as we can, but were they to contract something more severe I think they'd come out of it pretty well.

I know this is hard for other preemie moms to hear, but these babies are doing well. I think they are the exception to the rule. Sara jokes daily that Tabitha has forgotten she was a preemie. And yes, Sara says "was a preemie". Tabitha is in the 50th percentile for her a.c.t.u.a.l a.g.e ! She was born at twenty-five weeks gestation, that's unheard of! She's big, she's beefy and she's jolly. Our Tabitha is one amazing baby. Jackson is smaller but still within the realm of normal. His weight gain is slower, although he's been gaining at the same rate these last two months, and was slower because of his reflux. Obviously if you can't keep it in you can't get as many nutrients, calories and fat as someone who does keep it in. He'd also eat smaller amounts because of his reflux. Being smaller and more social this smaller volume doubled itself when Roger and sara were involved. A pattern of not eating became their norm. Luckily, as he has grown, Jackson has realized that he doesn't mind eating and will get just as much love and affection whether he eats or not. He still eats less for his parents but only mildly so and keeps a pretty consistent daily intake amount.

Life is good here and I'm looking forward to the change of seasons, upcoming holidays and life with these growing tomatoes.

Round here . . .

Physical Therapy and us.

We've been working on our physical therapy. My goal is three times per day - per baby. I did this three days out of five last week. This week I'm having a good day if we can get in once per day - per baby. But, as luck would have it, all of our work last week was good. Tabitha can now raise herself into the all fours position, before this wasn't possible. She could get onto elbows and knees but not support her weight on her hands. Not only can she support herself up there - but she can put herself into that position!

Jackson can hold himself in the transitional position once you get him into it.

Both tomatoes can rock back and forth when on their hands and knees.

Jackson regularly moves himself backwards, kind of a reverse commando-crawl, and has explored quite a bit of the house.

Most exciting, as far as development goes, we've passed our nine month milestone!!! Yes it's true - the Tomatoes are nine months old!!! Soon we'll have our last RSV shots, two each!, and be ready for a brand new phase, I just can't wait!

Just a picture . . .

Almost-not-quite-Spring

Things are progressing along today. Headed out earlier, enjoyed this closer-to-Spring weather. I can't wait until it's actually Spring and the days move past rain to warmer and sunny. Jackets or sweaters and maybe scull caps, how cute will we be?! Today I exposed their hands and shoes for little bit. Not much though as it was pretty chilly. We even wore skull caps under our snowsuits, it was a real treat!

After today I'm hoping to mix up the blogging. Maybe aim for twice each week instead of 5/wk. Then I won't have to just drop off once it gets warmer out. Possibly Tuesdays/Thursdays as I don't do laundry those days and should have a little more flexibility.

visitors

Blurred with little focus as I imagine the tomatoes remember our recent visitors.

Update on Tomatoes

With one week behind us and two more until we see our PT and EI person again - we're doing great with the physical therapy! We've added it to our daily charts/logs attempting to remind me, my suggestion, that I should work on it with them multiple times each day rather than multiple times each week. Seems silly and pretty straight-forward but making time to sit still and do a few simple exercises - with-each-baby - takes planning on top of everything else.

There hasn't been much time to blog this week for a few reasons;
1) I'm completely over winter and spend every free moment wishing for Spring. Blogging about what's going on now just reinforces where we are now - getting more snow and wearing heavy winter coats, still.

2) Despite our debates about going outside this winter, I have respected Roger's fear of them getting too cold, despite how silly I think it is, and have kept our outings to a minimum. Meaning we've gone on walks two or three times each month - this in itself has added to my frustration with winter and cold weather. Now that Spring is approaching, however slowly, I'm making a point to get them outside every day. We've been outside more this week than most of the winter! Adding that time into our days, on top of physical therapy three times per day, has removed a lot of my computer time.

3) Our new schedule, as agreed on by Roger, Sara and me, has been tough. there has been more waiting, planning and fussing than most people can take. It is exhausting. Terribly, terribly exhausting. But after an extremely dry spell we've hit on a few good naps and I think we're only at the tip of the iceberg. Aside from the patience necessary to get through this time, I've been trying to be more precise. Instead of getting them up (or putting them down) with 30 minutes leeway, I've been setting the timer and sticking to it. The consistency is helping their bodies adjust and giving us some more regularity.

4) The main reason that I haven't had time to blog is that I've been making myself sit still during the first part of their morning naps. This is the time I'm guaranteed quiet and I'm at my best in the morning. the problem is I start my day on hyper drive and it's just not relaxing or good for me personally. so, no matter how much I want to get everything done in the first 30 minutes after I put them to bed, I make myself relax. And it's really, really hard! This has been my best time frame for blogging, without it I feel like there's not a good time to get to blogging so I haven't been.

I only have eight minutes left before my timer goes off, I've added cooking and laundry to today's agenda, MWF are our regular laundry days but I didn't get to their sheets yesterday, so I must run!

Quickly though:

Both tomatoes are doing well. Tabitha's face is really changing. Jackson can hold one of our physical therapy positions on his own! Neither are sitting but both are moving backwards. Both can rock on their hands and knees although Tabitha prefers knees and elbows. This week she's started crossing her ankles while she lies on her tummy, too adorable! And, AND! Tabotha has started making consonant sounds! Norah was getting a little concerned but then, as if on cue, Tabitha began da-da-da and ba-ba-ba and yesterday I heard la-la-la followed by ya-ya-ya! It's very, very exciting! Jackson is growing and eating. The screaming, that was so terribly painful, has all but stopped, now rather than Tabotha doing it Jackson does occasionally. And the spitting during meals is nearly gone as well thanks to consistent time-outs by both Sara and I. 

cry, cry, cry.

Built the tomatoes the coolest fort today. They didn't enjoy it, at all. Pretty defeating. Made me want to cry, much like the Johnny Cash song . . .
I wasted my time when I would try, try, try.
When the lights have lost their glow, you're gonna cry, cry, cry.

just a photo . . .

Ei progress

It's been six weeks since we've seen EI. 6! In that time they have made some excellent progress. I'm not exaggerating when I say they were impressed. They were! Both Jackson and Tabitha have improved their sitting. While neither can sit by themselves each can hold the sitting position for about a minute unaided.

The biggest excitement of the visit was Jackson's rocking. The boy loves being on his hands and knees and just rocking back and forth. Being the thoughtful little tomato that he is, he waited until PT put him into that position to show that he could do it. As if to tell her, "I learned what you just taught me!" Norah might have a run for her money there - Jackson seemed smitten!

Tabitha on the other hand, was the opposite of smitten. She wanted nothing to do with PT. She was fussing and cranky throughout the visit and at times down right uncoroperative. It is unclear whether she was having stranger anxiety or just being fussy. She wasn't especially soothed by anyone so I'm voting fussy, especially since it started before EI arrived. She's also yet to show signs of stranger anxiety whereas Jackson has entertained the idea on two or three occasions.

Weighing in are Jackson and Tabitha!

Napping continues to be challenging but after amazing afternoon naps yesterday I'm feeling encouraged. If only the morning nap would fall into line... we're planning to get to bed earlier for the morning nap because they just start thier day overtired. Did happen this morning though because of appointments needing to be kept. RSV shots - two per baby - our second to last of the season. Hooray for Spring!! Jackson weighs in at a beautiful 16 lb 4 oz! He's gained nearly a pound since last month! Good job! Tabitha, solidly on the chart for her actual age, comes in at 18 lb 12 oz! Again, nearly a pound in a month, way to grow!

Both are doing great although Jackson seems to have his first runny nose. Clear and mild, doesn't seem to be bothering him, plus he could be about to get teeth. The boy can't be awake without something on his gums; his finger, a toy, his sister's hand, as long as there's something there he's happy. Last night, after dinner, he wouldn't let me brush his teeth. We've been doing this every evening for the last six weeks or so and they both LOVE it. No matter their mood, they LOVE it. But he was not having it! The funny thing is Tabitha's the drooler. The girl produces as much drool as her brother produces spit up! Speaking of, most recent GI visit has us continuing along the same path, adding third meal, done, and getting ready to start proteins! Hooray!

Side Note: the tulip photos are recent. I took them earlier this week. The blog was too empty and we need to encourage Spring along as much as we can. They were a gift from Norah for Valentine' day. They are from a potted plant and absolutely gorgeous!

Camera Link for Newest Posts

Yes, the camera is there but it isn't linked yet because I need time to upload the photos. Our internet is down at home so I'm doing this as fast as I can. I apologize for the inconvenience.

A reminder to those of you who can't see the photo blog - there's an explanation of this on my profile page.

Back on track - link there-link back! Plus bonus weekend post by Norah, too funny!!! Read it here.

Wednesday:Update

Life here is hard, really tough, when babies don't nap. We're trying to get things consistent enough that there's no starting over every Monday. Getting parents, even intelligent parents, onboard is tough sometimes. Sara can see it one way and Roger another, of course being a third and separate person, I see it another and Norah comes in with an opinion of her own. What we've ended up with is a team of very helpful, invested and determined adults and two very sleepy children.

Change takes time, regularity and persistence. It's been three days and while it's tough now I know it will get better. As much as I love and respect Norah I've asked her to back off a bit because I feel like I'm trying to convince her as much as Roger and Sara when what I need from her is support. Unluckily for me Sara questions much like Norah does and causes me to doubt myself. This doesn't benefit anyone. We flip and flop and end up going in circles. With Norah's support, rather than help, I can remember that I do it this way because it works, and we can all move forward.

It may sound obvious or a little odd, but if your nanny doubts herself you'll doubt her and everything else. It's important for the person in the experienced position to be confident and help those around them feel that confidence until they find their own.

Tuesday:Shadow Play

After some fresh air, Jackson and Tabitha tried a new game: shadow play. Tabitha caught on right away, if she moved, her shadow moved. Jackson was more distracted but eventually noticed and considered his shadow. It was an interesting insight into the mind of nearly nine month olds. I'm looking forward to games we'll play together as they get bigger. Right now our repertoire is limited. We roll the ball back and forth when we have another adult here, we sing or talk back and forth, Jackson is doing his version of "high-5" during bottles and we're drinking out of open cups. Of course it's all very rudimentary but engages their bodies and minds.

Monday:Here we are.

(WARNING: extremely long post, maybe skip to the end, you'll get the gist.)
It's a new week and we're onto our new napping plan. Some of you might not enjoy this post so feel free to leave at any time.

If you give a mouse a cookie...
or
if you explain your expectations...

If you explain your expectations,
kids are going to listen.

When kids listen,
they understand more.

When kids understand more [of the expectations],
they'll know what you want.

When they understand, they'll practice.

Then they'll expect more from you to make sure they know what you want.

When they're sure they understand,
they'll want to practice some more.
They'll probably ask again what you want from them.

When they hear it again,
they'll want to try some more.

They'll start doing what you expect.

They might get carried away and start guessing what you want.
They may even act on these assumptions without your permission.

When you restate the expectations,
they'll probably want to practice again.

You'll have to be patient while they try each part again.

They'll try on the same shoes you showed them before and jump around a bit.

They'll probably ask you for clarification.
So you'll explain to them again what you expect,
and they'll start to practice.

When they've practiced themselves silly,
they'll get so excited to show you they understand.
They'll ask for an opportunity to show you.

They'll do exactly as you expect.

When they've succeeded once,
they'll want to do it again
with you encouraging them.

Then they'll want you to tell everyone.

Which means they'll be hearing again what you expect.

They'll file away what you say
and take time to consider it.

Considering what you expect
will remind them that
they love you.

So...
they'll ask you to explain [your expectations] again.

And chances are
if they ask you to explain again,
they're going to want to practice getting it right.

[When they know how to please you,
they generally will.]

Working with children in different capacities one of the biggest constants is noticing how much more they understand, at all ages, than people think they do. Little bits are smart!

When you run into a frustrating situation with a child, sometimes you can step back and see it from their perspective. If you can truly step back you might realize that you've never actually explained to them what you expect.

Example) When little Madison sees birds she bursts into tears. At home this may seem amusing, surprising, but funny. Without thinking you might laugh or smile. Madison takes this as positive reinforcement of her actions, i.e. see birds = cry.

Next time Madison sees the birds she begins screaming as if being tortured. This time you aren't at home and it isn't funny. You are at the museum and she's scaring the other children. You are embarassed because the birds are outside barely visable and the other parents are staring. Nobody knows Madison sees the birds. It's frustrating to see her screaming and carrying on over birds outside a glass window. You reprimand her. You both feel frustrated. She's confused, last time you encouraged this. Now you are angry? How could she have known?

Going home you let it go. The next day, before you leave the house, you get down to Madison's level. Calmly and slowly you say to Madison,
"Madison the birds aren't going to hurt you. We don't cry when we see the birds."
She looks at you. Thinks about what you said then goes about her world. Later, when you see the birds, she starts to cry and you remind her that we don't cry when we see the birds. She stops. Maybe she sticks close or holds your hand, but she doesn't cry.

This applies to our current napping situation. Meaning we aren't napping and Sara is ready to throw in the towel. But I'm sure if we just tell them what we expect and reinforce what we're looking for, they will get it and all will be well. Man, little tinies are so much easier than these big thinkers! all they want to do is explore their worlds and practice and be out there, but without sleep they won't reach their growth potential, brain potential or keep their nanny - cause I'll lose my mind!

Friday:Rock & Roll

He's rocking regularly back and forth on his knees. Can you believe it? It's AWESOME!! No sitting yet, but preparing to crawl - go big boy, Go!

She's rolling like crazy. Onto her back to check out the world, kick her heels and do what she feels when she feels like doing it! Still just practising the sit, but moving to her own tune! Roll baby Roll!

Roger and Sara have been moving right along as well. Planning activities, keeping things at home in motion and feeling over all on top of things. Hooray for a healthy family!

Next week will likely have some shaking it up symptoms. Naps have been terrible this week ad we're going to make some changes. More on Monday!

Long Day.

Today was a very, very long day. Neither Jackson nor Tabitha felt they should nap longer than 45 minutes at a stretch. Of course this didn't mean they weren't tired, oh no my friend. They were crank-kee! Finally after much patience shown by Sara and I slept about an hour and a half - you wouldn't believe it - they woke up completely different children! It was a much better evening than it had been morning or afternoon. I was glad for that! Sara and I had a long talk about naps and scheduling and expectations and such. It's great to work with someone who 1)appreciates your intelligence, opinion and experience, 2)respects your opinion even if she doesn't agree with it, 3)asks questions about your perspective to try and understand it better, and finally tends to agree with me on most things (that's just a bonus). 

Speaking of bonuses...anybody been clicking on the camera link???

Way to go!

Jackson has gained a pound since his last visit to the specialist! He doesn't need to go back until his birthday!! Hooray for Jackson!!!

Of course there was no napping this morning. Tabitha thought 45 minutes would suffice and Jackson decided 35 was plenty. I don't need to tell you that they were extremely fussy until their next nap when they slept a whopping 2.5 hours!!! Oh yes - they woke up the cutest, snuggliest little tomatoes you've ever seen!! It was a great afternoon! (that is if I leave out the part about Tabitha's new trick, called manipulating adults!!! she focuses on Roger but feels confident enough to put everyone through the wringer!) We even enjoyed some great floor time - have I told you how awesome they are getting with gross motor skills??? Oh wait around, that post is coming!

Babyfood to be cleaned, cooked and cubed (ice cubed)!

Didn't mention it, but I've got a bounty, seriously, of food to cook this week. I should stay pretty busy (read: I won't really have time for blogging)!

They can eat everything pictured except the beets and the melon - those are their new foods this week.

Beets, yummy! Both Sara and Norah LOVE beets! They are thrilled for Jackson and Tabitha to try them. Not as much of a fan, I'm excited that they are moving on to more vegetables!

Beet greens are supposed to be very healthy. I've never eaten them but waste not want not, I'm going to prepare them for the tomatoes. I'll let you know what I think, hopefully they aren't too bitter.

Beet stems, they are so colorful, aren't they? I think they look like licorice! planning to cook these also, they feel so much like celery.

Now that everything is cleaned and chopped I can start cooking!

Carrots first as they are my favorite.
Mmmm, carrots, yummy! Alright, putting the lid on...

Now I can puree the snap peas I just steamed...
Asking Roger for snap beans I ended up with snap peas. He tries and we aren't going to give him a hard time - okay? At least these were gorgeous snap peas - they looked like edamame! Not really a fan of either myself, we'll see what Jackson and Tabitha think.

I actually threw these in first, planning ahead, but saved their picture for last...
Aww, squash. A few weeks back we had company at our house and I made a squash mix that I called "squashers mash." It had butternut and acorn squash, baked then pureed with nutmeg and cinnamon. It was really tastey. Because it was something new I made a few cubes for the tomatoes even though they'd never had acorn squash. They LOVED IT!! Roger requested I make more, the beets are wrapped up here too, I hope they don't leak beet juice all over!