Schedule Question

UPDATE: Hey! This just up (1.31.08) quint's mom uses E.A.S.Y. !!! Check it out!! Watch for E.A.S. Eat, Activity, Sleep...


Over the last few weeks I've given advice regarding schedules for young, less than five month old, babies a couple of times. Instead of just responding to specific parents, as I have been doing, I want to post about it. Then if there are any other folks out there having similar questions but no time or gumption to ask, they'll benefit as well. 

Warning; this post will likely be long and deal directly with scheduling. Not every baby needs a schedule but many benefit from them. Do not feel that because I'm for specific schedules I'm knocking those of you who feed or sleep on demand. I'm doing things the best that I can, as I imagine you are. 

Scheduling for the young infant...

The family I'm working with now is very soft, cuddly and sweet with their babies. They really like the book, Healthy Sleep/Happy Child, she uses it with Touchpoints. Between the two she finds her balance of calm, kind mommy and intelligent, thinking ahead parent. You don't need to buy either book, your local library should have them if you think you need to read them, but I can give you the gist of what I think works (which likely comes from these books, other books, experience and successful nappers/eaters).

Many new parents feel this way, it is the response young infants tend to illicit. I'm small and sweet so just love me. Right? Who can think rationally when confronted with this? And with most single babies one can easily slip into a pattern of responsive parenting. Meaning baby cries, parent tries to fix the problem. Are they hungry? Dirty? Scared? Tired? Confused? Essentially, why are they crying and what can I do to fix it. As soon as you have one adult for two babies this ceases to work effectively and predictably. One person only has two hands, if you parent responsively, rather than proactively, inevitably both babies will desire your attention simultaneously and you'll have to make one wait or completely stress yourself out trying to accommodate both. 

Instead of getting into this place, similar to the waiting place, as described in Dr. Suess's Oh the Places You'll Go, anticipate your babies needs. You know that every day your baby will need to eat, dirty diapers, sleep, play and cuddle. No question, every day you'll do these things. 

Let's start here. Imagine you have twin four month olds, actual age, and you've entered into a place where you can't get feeding and naps in line. Start with the basics, feedings. Equally space feedings. This sounds scary, breathe, this is where you come in - how you "equally space" them is your call. 

Example:

Tabitha came home from the hospital a week before Jackson. She was small and sweet and cuddly and finally in her parents arms whenever they wanted. The nurses had sent her home eating on a schedule of every three hours. But Roger and Sara were ready to do it their way, damn the scheduling they wanted to feed her on demand. Super. One baby, two parents, Tabitha ate whenever she wanted. It happens so fast and so painlessly most parents can't see it coming.

As you can imagine, when Jackson arrived home he joined his sister in their parents new found freedom. Forget every three hours! Herein lies the problem, if given the choice, Jackson would take two bottles per day. I'm not kidding you, the boy isn't interested in eating. Tabitha on the other hand, would eat at least once per hour. Her amounts would be erratic and there'd be no length of time available for sleeping.

Because Roger and Sara are such soft, loving first time parents, 

we started their schedule as gently as possible. 

Tabitha was eating all of the time. Bottles too close together became smaller. We were preparing bottles six to seven times each day because there was no way of predicting how much and often she'd eat. 

We agreed that eating every hour was too often. 

We talked about each cycle.

One of the parenting books suggests the E.A.S.Y. cycle. 

E = Eat

A = Activity

S = Sleep

Y = You

It doesn't matter if your cycle goes eat-activity-sleep-you or eat-sleep-activity, the important part is to include each thing in every cycle. A cycle goes from one bottle to the next. If your child is eating every 1.5 hours, they have 30 minutes to eat, 30 minutes to sleep and 30 minutes to play. Obviously you need to include diapering and burping in there too. The time starts the first time you put the bottle into their mouth. some take longer to eat, some longer to burp, most don't have very long attention spans or healthy awake periods. 

We started with 1.5 hours because Roger and Sara could undoubtedly agree that Tabitha could go that long.  This may not sound like much, but when you've been responding to every cry with a bottle, it's a huge change. And including sleep in every cycle is a huge step for most parents.

Before long it was obvious to Roger and Sara that 90 minutes wasn't enough time to get everything done in and she could go longer. It was also quite a bit of work to get them to sleep during every cycle.

Sleep. Ahh, I feel strongly about sleep.
Educated sleep specialists reach out to pediatric residents and teach them the value of sleep and how to help parents reinforce the importance of sleep. Sleep is important and we as a culture don't value it, this specifically was discussed on NPR earlier this week.

From my experience (and reiterated by aforementioned sleep specialist) anything goes for the first six weeks, depending on your baby, maybe four weeks, maybe five, but six weeks at the latest, after that expectations, habits, rituals, whatever your chosen synonym, there's a change at or around six weeks. Almost every, if not every, book I've read says you cannot actually spoil babies. But maybe we shouldn't think of it as spoiling but rather expectation setting.

At any point you can begin creating the routine and expectations you'll most enjoy. If you choose something you find calming, soothing or relaxing, your baby will learn to love and expect it just as much if not more than you do. Babies are adaptable, even if they seem opinionated and determined, they can mold themselves to your expectations. Adopted babies and children are an example of how adaptable babies can be. 

Here are a few examples of nighttime routines, I start here because most families have the hardest time at the end of the day. Any routine you use for sleeping can be called a nighttime routine and should be used at all sleep times. Some choose to make the end of the day, nighttime routine a little longer than the others to differentiate it from napping. Whatever you prefer will work as long as you are consistent. 

Example 1)

Mom stays at home with twins every day of the week, she gets help two afternoons per week. Her twins are big, big babies but started as tiny preemies. she is a very petite woman and after a long day of holding, feeding, moving, loving, entertaining and caring for her two immobile children she's exhausted. Her nighttime routine must meet her needs and energy level as well as that of her robust children. Each evening she feeds her twins dinner. Then bathes them. After their bath she prepares small bottles while they play on the floor a bit. She places each one into their carseat, if someone is there with her, they each hold a baby. For her the carseat is key because they can be strapped in, had she owned two bouncy seats these would have worked just as well, because her twins were so big and active bumbo chairs and boppies weren't enough. Strapped in mom can feed both babies at the same time. Before she begins she lights a candle. She did this one night by chance and both babies were transfixed. They found the light relaxing and centering after a long day. Because it worked so well mom now does this every single night. Once they finish their bottles she burps them, puts on their sleeps sacks, cuddles for a minute, tells them she loves them, puts them into bed, turns on the white noise machine, turns off the light and closes the door. Every.single.night.

Example 2) 

Mom works three days a week, dad works five days one of which is from home and they have childcare in their home while dad is home and mom is at work. Mom has trouble with anxiety and sleep is extremely important to her thus they stress consistency. Each night mom comes home in time for happy hour, a time when the babies play on the kitchen floor. Every night, during the time they start to get fussy, her twins come to play on the kitchen floor. This is very different from the rest of their day which is why it is saved for this fussy period. So mom comes home, hears about the day, sends childcare provider home and changes from work. Dad comes home, both babies are exhausted but both mom and dad want more time with them so they get a short 20 minute catnap. While they sleep one parent prepares bottles while the other unwinds, prepares dinner, gets pjs and loveys, whatever, then they each take a baby and feed them their dinner. After they've each finished and burped, they hold them for ten to fifteen minutes. They believe this reduces their risk of reflux. Once the agreed upon time has passed, they change each babies' diaper, put on their pajamas and sleepsacks, get their loveys* and go to the sofa for stories. After two or three stories they say goodnight to the house and take the babies to bed. Once in bed they tell them about their days then say the same thing about sleep and loving them, every night, turn off the light and close the door.

The key to these sleeping is consistency. There's nothing wrong with soothing your baby. Just remember not to pick baby up again once you've put her down. Talk, sing, pat, massage her but make the choice not to pick her up again once you've put her to bed. Picking her up sends mixed signals, she's wondering, what are we doing now? What comes next? Maybe she doesn't actually think in those words but she's confused and doesn't know what to expect, except what you teach her to expect. 

You don't need to use a certain product, dress them a certain, say a specific thing, you just need to be the same. The can't tell time, your words and actions alert them to what comes next. 

There's nothing wrong with rocking your child for as long as you like, singing three songs every night or reading a shelf full of books, the problem comes in when you start to dread putting her to bed, the rocking, singing or reading routine stresses you out, getting to bed takes longer than her regular awake period or you put her to bed already asleep.

Some of these reasons are self explanatory; if you dread putting her to bed or get stressed out by all of the rocking, singing, reading, you'll avoid it. You'll push it off as long as possible. She'll get overtired, less opportunity to sleep and you'll be stressed before you even begin.

If getting to bed takes longer than her regular awake period, i.e. the amount of time she can enjoy actually being awake, then you are sure to have an overtired baby on your hand most likely to wake up at 45 minutes, sleep shorter periods or have broken sleep periods.

Finally, if you hold her until she's asleep then put her into bed, she expects to be being held when she wakes. She will wake during her sleep cycle, it's natural and normal and we all do it. Waking up in a different place than she went to sleep can be scary, disorienting and frustrating for her. Thus she wakes up and asks, through crying, to be put back in the place she fell asleep, your arms, the rocking chair, carseat, etc.

It comes down to this;

Space bottles evenly.

• you'll know what to expect, baby will learn what to expect
• cycles will be consistent and each include some period of sleep

Set up a sleep routine

• regular signals that tell baby sleeptime is coming
• consider what you think is important (reading, singing, loveys*, rocking, etc)

Be CONSISTENT

• knowing what to expect is just as helpful to baby as it is to you
• consistency leads to routine which will allow you wiggle room, if you always do three things before they sleep and you wait 28 minutes to put them down rather than 23, they won't notice because your signals are the same as always

*loveys = transitional object intended to soothe baby during sleep, used to transition. Examples; use with pacifier then in place of pacifier, used to signal time for sleeping, helps get them into overnight sleep, i.e. object is there when they wake in the night.

I know this was very, very long winded. I hope that it helps and gives you some more ideas, insights and options for getting your babies on a schedule that works for all of you. 

If you have more questions, please, just ask.

Twelve soon.

Yep, peas day two. Just about as exciting as it sounds! Nothing really to tell today, both tomatoes are fine, napping on schedule and playing like, um, babies. Crazy isn't it? 

This week I've been thinking about Zander's older brother, Rowan. He was two and a half when I met him, very, very cute, traditional blonde, huge blue eyes and his signature toddler bowl cut. He had an amazing vocabulary but was extremely picky about who he let hear it, he could say almost any word and didn't hesitate to tell you he preferred his mother over every other person in the world. 

I can hardly believe that was me, ten years ago. It seems like a lifetime ago that he was demanding I go and mommy stay. Always. In those first days I can't count how many times he said, "No Samara. You no get me. Mommy get me." This phrase applied to everything, putting on his bib, wiping his hands, buckling his carseat, unbuckling, getting toys, taking baths, everything was punctuated with "You no get me." And his pacifier, it was always in the picture, ALWAYS.

It is so crazy to think that in a week he will be twelve. Twelve. He's about my height now, doesn't want anybody to do anything, and thick. It's very odd. All of the things I imagined for him, mainly that he'd be just like his peers, and he isn't. He's the image of his mother, overweight, lazy, addicted to the television, rude, self-centered and antisocial. He does play sports like his extremely active father and he watches them on tv, but he eats garbage in massive quantities and lounges in front of the television for hours upon hours. 

I think of all we did together, how he grew, what I saw in him. There were so many great adventures, experiences to make an impression, consistent, regular activities that I just can't understand this place he's in. That isn't true, I know modeling means so much more than everything I put in, but it's so hard to accept. 

You may be thinking I dislike Beckett, his mother, but that isn't true. I love her dearly, but I know that she makes unhealthy choices. Models unhealthy behavior and who wants to see a child unhealthy? Every choice I made during my years with Rowan was based on him having a healthy life, being a healthy and happy person. It's hard to see that he isn't. You may also be thinking that he's coming into his teen years and he's completely normal, maybe. But what if he picks up more of his mother's unhealthy choices? There's still hope in college. A lot can chnge, happen and develop then. I haven't given up on Rowan. I still love him very, very much and think about him regularly. For this next year, I wish him renewed health, happiness and individuality. 

Happy Birthday Rowan!

PEAS, day 1.

Yes! We tried peas today! Both Jackson and Tabitha seem to really enjoy them. I'd say that Jackson likes trying new things and Tabitha likes eating. Both were a little hesitant with pears and apples initially and love them now. Next week we'll find out about next foods, I'm looking forward to proteins and whole grains. I know I'm going to have to wait for both, but they'll be worth it!

PT and EI came today. Both tomatoes are progressing normally. Nothing to worry about, continue with floor time and work specifically on sitting with as little support as possible. Both interventionists acknowledged improvement but neither let on that they were impressed at all. They did acknowledge both Jackson and Tabitha are behind, but learning in the regular, expected order. This is good to know, but being 25 weekers, their development is ONLY delayed. That is AWESOME! Why not mention that? They'll come back again, next month, no need for anyone new to come just continue on.

I am very proud of Jackson and Tabitha as well as Roger and Sara. I think they are all doing an amazing job rolling with the punches, developing themselves and growing like crazy. Too bad I'm just the nanny and people expect me to say that, little do they realize how high my standards and expectations are and what a compliment it really is!

On my own and yummy solids.

Back to work for real today. No Norah, no staying home. It's all me after nearly a week of being away. Our day has been great! Both tomatoes are sleeping well, relaxed and happy. We've taken nearly six hundred pictures, had tummy time, social time, floor time, made formula, bottles, prepared peas for tomorrow, napped, talked, sung - we are on it! If they'd clear the sidewalks we could have a nice walk, but since they haven't and it was a little slippery when I came in this morning, I don't see that happening today. It is supposed to get warmer as the week progresses, maybe we can count on clear sidewalks at least one day this week.

It is truly amazing how strong and opinionated Jackson and Tabitha are getting. They are enjoying tummy-time play more than being on their backs. Both are getting frustrated that they are just stuck on their backs. Each can raise their hips to the side and roll from back to front with help, but without help - they are Stuck! Jackson is super smiles today, all light and friendliness. Tabitha is Mrs Chatty-Pants. So unbelievably cute and loud!

Tomorrow we're having peas for the first time, hooray for new food! Our list is getting big! I'm looking forward to having well-rounded meals with all the food groups. We can't start proteins yet, but definitely by Spring. I'm really looking forward to giving them yogurt and cottage cheese - YUM!!

Finally, back to work.

Today I played with the tomatoes! I missed them SO much! And they've grown! I can't believe how much Jackson looks like a little boy! He's so cute. While it wouldn't seem possible, Tabitha's cheeks have gotten bigger! Both of them seem taller and even more active. Rolling over is seen more often, although not predictably so, and Jackson is moving backward! He is intentionally trying to move toward things but going backward - the first step to crawling! I can't wait!

Today Tabitha rolled over during naptime and couldn't get back to sleep. It was coming someday but it didn't make any less painful that she's gotten so big, loud and opinionated first. We'll get past it, but like everything it will take time. Jackson is all over his crib and spending a lot of time against the bars. It seems that once he's there he can't figure out how to move away. Although his timing today was impeccable. He burped, spit and then rolled over looking very proud and completely avoiding a face full of spit. It was extremely impressive.

While I was away, five full days, Roger and Sara not only managed but thrived, even taking an entire day and having an adventure. It was the first time the tomatoes sat inside of a restaurant! (I wish Roger and Sara hadn't taken them inside during RSV season, but I'm impressed at how relaxed they are feeling.) They sat near the door so there was a constant supply of fresh air and weren't around any other people. Both said they felt relaxed and enjoyed themselves. The tomatoes were calm and social. Aside from very little napping, which happens, it sounds like the perfect day. I'm glad they are feeling so comfortable and up to taking adventures. They are really enjoying being parents and having fun with their tomatoes.

Tabitha has moved into the next size of diapers and they are onto another new food - carrots - yum! The GI says Jackson is doing well but to continue as we have been, increasing his pr.losec because of his weight gain, which was adequate. We're working toward a minimum of 22 ounces a day for him, Sara says they get close to that on a regular day and I always pass it so no worries. If we didn't have cheeky-Tabitha to compare him to he'd seem perfect, which he is.

I'm still not 100% myself, but my cough is gone, energy levels are up and (sorry if this is tmi) my mucus is clear, all signs that I'm on the up and up. Because I'm still runny I'm a walking advertisement for Pure11 and I can't kiss the tomatoes. It's really hard not to. Which is kind of funny. I never used to kiss the babies I cared for, honestly. I worried it would make the parents uncomfortable (I worked for a mom who spent so little time with her child that when the child would get hurt she'd prefer me, this was without giving her loads of physical affection and not being allowed to hold her, mom was also pretty insecure). Then I worked for this awesome family in California, Nick and Bree, who lavished love on each other, Ethan and Ava, Norah and me. It was wonderful and Bree wouldn't hear of Norah and I not bathing her children in hugs, kisses and endearments. She knew Ethan and Ava loved her and them showing us affection or the other way around, couldn't threaten that. Ever since working with them we've sought out confident families with parents that don't fear affectionate, loving caregivers for their children. It is hard for some to understand, but if you think of it in terms of extended family; an only child doesn't have more love to give than one with many siblings and cousins, there's always enough love. Thus, not being able to kiss and snuggle the tomatoes is really, really tough.

All ready to go back...

Roger and Sara gave me the go ahead and to return to work this morning. It was completely their decision, despite everyone's lack of certainty on the matter. It seemed this was great, we were all on the same page, but I couldn't sleep. I was worried all night about the tomatoes. Coughing, I didn't want them coughing. More and more ideas came to me about ways to be sure they'd be okay, but none seemed definite.

Then, this morning, I woke up with a wetter, deeper cough and the solution. I called Sara, she agreed, hope I feel better.

Home again, I'm feeling relieved that we know this is the right choice. And the tomatoes are healthy. Tabitha's tiny cough is gone, neither have fevers and they are eating and sleeping well. Good job Jackson ad Tabitha! Stay well and have a good weekend.

Uggh.

Uggh. (you know what that means, don't you?)

I'm home sick today. I missed an opportunity to have one on one playtime with Tabitha while Jackson was at the doctor's with Sara because I'm too (cover your ears) damn honest. I have a tiny sore throat, I could totally work today, instead I'm home in bed. Roger and Sara and I have an agreement that if I'm at all "off" I give them a heads up and they make the call. So I do, I call them, they talk it over and call me back. Of course this is only the second time it's happened, but telling them almost guarantees my staying home. I hate it, but I still do it.

I really could have used the extra sleep earlier in the week, but I made a point to go to bed early last night. No lie, I was in bed by 9:15 pm. Norah had some school work to finish up, put me to bed and stayed up. I hate being home sick. Hate it! The worst part is not knowing if I'll have to be stuck here again tomorrow. And, and I didn't get myself sick! I don't know anyone who is sick. I've been avoiding Addison and Madison, much to everyone's disappointment, all winter. every time we plan to get together they are sick so I cancel. (it's like they are in day care or something) Sara told me everyone in her office is sick, Norah says the same is true of her office, although she hasn't been in two weeks. My theory is that Roger and Sara are transporting the germs. I'm susceptible because my immunities aren't strengthened regularly because I stay home with the healthy little peanuts. We never go anywhere in order to keep them healthy. The down side is I'm never exposed to build immunities either. So I'm stuck here at home through no fault of my own, it would be one thing if I were getting something out of this, but all I'm getting is multiple hours in a row to think about missing Jackson and Tabitha, so unfair.

Tuesday that follows Monday...

Ahh, Tuesday, well, maybe not quite.
Yesterday there was a lot of diaper dirtying going on which may have affected regular napping. Today there has been a bit of crib-traveling, to the tune of heads pressed against the crib bars. Poor little tomatoes. Roger and Sara really don't want to put the bumpers all the way around, right now they are two sided, because then Jackson and Tabitha won't be able to see each other. But now that they can move they are both having trouble staying on the bumper sides and end up smushed along the unbumpered sides. When we help them it annoys Tabitha and over-stimulates Jackson to the point they both have trouble getting back to sleep. When we leave them to figure it out, they stay pressed up there and cry themselves to sleep along the bars. Neither way is working, we're all talking about our possible options. Roger has suggested making the bumpers three sided as they usually end up along the front long side rather than the short top side which is the one that faces their twin's crib. Sara wasn't sure this was possible, I assured her that it is, but she'd still like to try it this way a little longer.

Not really having strong feelings either way, I'm going to keep my mouth closed. I think they have a handle on it, Roger and Sara, whatever we decide Jackson and Tabitha will get used to and there's no danger to having the bumpers all the way around or not at all. Either way the tomatoes are safe so whatever is decided will work fine. Not sure if I'd mentioned this, but we've lowered the cribs. With all of this rolling ability we couldn't have the possibility of either tomato falling out of their crib. While Tabitha doesn't lift her head high enough for this to be an issue, Jackson gets his high enough that his chin could have cleared the railing. Neither minded the change although I'm sure they both noticed as the first time we put them in, after the change, there was a lot of looking around.

Speaking of changes that haven't been mentioned. Things are really, really good here. We've moved beyond that transition of Roger and Sara going back to work. We've, okay, Roger has created an awesome method for me to give them the pictures I take. (more about this in a minute) Tomatoes are thriving. And, oh you aren't ready for this. but here it comes...

Today Jackson tried to crawl!!
Now he is nowhere near crawling, but he's starting to try some new gross motor skills out that could lead to his crawling. In addition to lifting his entire chest and stomach off of the floor, he lifted his waist up. I know, not much different, but for him, HUGE! Then, when that didn't work, he was trying to get a toy just out of reach, he let his chest down, arms out to sides, and tried pulling his knees in! How smart is this tomato!

Tabitha has started hip-thrusts. She lies, on stomach or back, and thrusts her hips to the side. I'm not sure if she's trying to roll over, show her frustration or move her body but she's getting better at it and stronger.

They are both just so amazing. I can't believe how wonderful they are doing. Hoping that the EI and PT will be impressed when they come in a week or two.


---

Not really following up on many posts, getting it out I feel better and forget my frustrations, I've inevitably left some things out. Because my pictures are labeled by date, Roger and Sara know exactly when they were taken. I never hide pictures from them, but I also don't give them everything because I take way too many shots of the same thing. Sara took all of them once and was completely overwhelmed. Each time I give them new ones, and there are more than sixty in a batch, she asks, "You went through them right?" She really doesn't want all 300 of them, it's just too much.

Anyhow, one of the sets of pictures I gave them included pictures of auntie Laverne and auntie Shirley holding the babies. They were thrilled to get these! Because one of the aunties was sick for the beginning of their visit, there aren't as many pictures of her with Jackson and Sara, inevitably everyone takes more photos at the ends of a visit than in the middle. Both Roger and Sara were glad that I took some when she was dressing and feeding the babies. As it happened this was six hours before they removed the ban on auntie getting too close. Roger said they knew that morning that she was probably fine, but didn't think to say anything. That's why he noticed the date. I'm so glad I included her, it worked out really well and reinforced my judgement, experience and instincts when Roger mentioned it. While I never said so, just assured him that "of course I took pictures," it still felt good to be appreciated.

Monday, Monday.

It is Monday! How did this happen? Both Jackson and Tabitha were perfect this weekend. I don't use that term loosely, but they were. Completely adorable, sweet and schedule-loving! I actually came in over the weekend, spent the entire day with them and it couldn't have been better! 

Incidentally, as soon as I arrived Sara says,

"Samara! We LOVE the schedule!"

Not taking credit for something we've all worked on together, I told her that I'm glad that it works for them as well as Jackson and Tabitha, fitting a daily routine to four people plus meeting my expectations isn't easy and secretly I loved the praise. 

But I can't explain why today things have been so bumpy. Naps were a little shorter than usual and both Jackson and Tabitha were more sleepy than usual. At the end of the day, when I explained this to Roger and Sara, they were thrilled.

"So this means it isn't our fault?!"

Aww! Poor Roger and Sara! I assured them it couldn't be as I'd been here over the weekend and followed the schedule close enough without trouble, there must be something about Monday. We'll see how the week pans out. I'm hoping that Norah and I just wore them out with so much fun over the weekend that they were a little over-sleepy on Monday.

How could I forget the best part of the day?!?

Jackson rolled the ball to me! Intentionally! Six or seven times while lying on his back! Each time took awhile, but he was concentrating and definitely doing it on purpose. When I told Sara she said they'd been rolling the ball with him! Roger and Sara taught Jackson to roll a ball - and he learned! How brilliant is this family?!

Solid Food - Yum Yum!

You wouldn't believe how much the tomatoes enjoy their food. They love solids! Today we started oatmeal - Jackson is in love! He ate and ate the oatmeal until it was gone. It was adorable! He's generally cranky during the morning snack because he's getting ready for his nap, but today he was all about the oatmeal. Little cutie.

Good news? or Bad news?

Good and bad day. Tabitha was especially adorable during her awake periods but terribly fussy during her naps. She was overtired and kept waking at the 45 minute mark. I think she'll sleep better tomorrow, I'm looking forward to it.

Jackson had an extreme day. Despite his old issues with eating he's been doing especially well since beginning solids. He eats in a more relaxed manner and protests the bottle less, until this week. He's getting more opinionated and seems to be figuring out his autonomy. It's exciting to see his brain working so well and frustrating to experience his levels of autonomy. Right now what can he control? He's seven months old, has rolled over but doesn't seem to remember how, Roger and Sara have yet to see him do it, he eats, he sleeps, he poops. Pretty much he can control when he sleeps, how he sleeps, what and how much he eats and when he poops. Obviously he can choose when to be social, as he showed with his response to my being away, when he cries, laughs, smiles etc. But these are things most people realize right away. What I'm getting at is that Jackson is controlling his food intake, bottles mostly. Yesterday he showed us two extremes, early bottle, with Roger and Sara, he only took 60 mL, opposed to his regular 160 mL. The next bottle, my first of the day with him, he took 250 mL! Neither he nor Tabitha has ever taken that much. It was shocking! Then the following bottle he completely refused. I tried for thirty minutes, he'd take the nipple into his mouth and chew on it. Maybe, maybe 10 mL dribbled down his chin, maybe. The crazy part was his attitude, he wasn't uncomfortable or angry or even annoyed, he was happy, sweet and smiley - but not overly so that he was choosing social over eating.

Each time I'd try again he'd kind of whine at me as if to say, "Really? I really don't want it. I appreciate the offer." Of course after that nap he was hungry and extremely sensitive. Poor guy. He chugged down his snack bottle and ate solids like an addict, an adorable addict, but an addict nonetheless.

Roger and Sara are really growing as parents. They agree that he may not be hungry or is just becoming more opinionated. They aren't stressed or anxious which is awesome and wonderful. Next week he'll visit the GI again and we'll know if he needs his pr.losec increased, he's definitely grown.

Speaking of growing - you wouldn't recognize Tabitha! Her had has gotten rounder, she's darling! Huge, chubby cheeks, massive hamhocks and sparkling eyes. She smiles all of the time. It is great, they are truly thriving.

Drama Summarized

It's surprising to me that so early into the new year there are folks out there looking to start trouble. But it is a year, just like last year and folks will do what they do. Because of one or two women there has been a change in my blog. I've removed all of the photos, two unbelievably cute babies made them very uncomfortable. I'll still have these photos online so if you are a regular reader just drop me an email and I'll let you know where to find them (per Norah's suggestion, thank you Norah, you are right, most people really enjoy the daily photos with their updates).

Different perspectives are appreciated; disrespect, threats and hostility are not. While my opinions may not be the same as yours, when I disagree with Roger and Sara my blog gives me an opportunity to collect my thoughts, step outside of my emotions and review the situation(Aha!). So if my thoughts seem frustrated at times or emotion-laden and hastily collected this blog is not the extent of my expression. My blog is in no way a secret, hateful critique of Roger and Sara that I use to mask my actual feelings. I talk with them about each and every issue that arises and we each trust one another completely. Our relationship is built on honesty the same way I've built this blog. It is possible this honesty makes some uncomfortable, the reader may have felt personally critiqued by my use of general terms. The use of these general terms and nicknames may have also portrayed a feeling of secrecy and collusion. Neither of which I could have predicted nor expected. Shattering these feelings and aiding in separation, I've replaced my general terms with specific names.

Whether or not it has come across I've really appreciated this bit of excitement on my blog. It has increased my daily viewers, something I couldn't figure out how to do, opened different perspectives and given me the opportunity to read through my old posts, make connections, tie up lose ends and increase my dedication to this endeavor. Oddly enough it has also brought in more than a few job offers from other preemie parents. So thank you Aimee (at bad mummy dot com, interesting perspective of self) and Bree, you've really started something great here for me!

Roll While You Play! She can do it alll day...

Just roll while you play
Push up that tummy and turn like it's funny to roll far and wide
Just roll over now
Just do your best and take a rest and roll to on your side

When there's too much to do
Don't let it bother you, forget your troubles,
Try to be just like a cheerful chick-a-dee

And roll while you play
Come on get smart, gear up and start
To roll while you play

You guessed it! Tabitha rolled over today for Roger and Sara! They said she rolled and rolled and rolled (in between rolls they turned her back to her tummy so each time was from tummy to back over her left shoulder)! Hooray for Tabitha!

(yes, her song is shorter than Jackson's was, but it took more work and I haven't actually seen her do it yet so I'm singing off of Roger and Sara's excitement rather than my own this time!)

Perplexing and Frustrating

Again today I've had a huge number of visitors, sadly they've come bringing negative comments and threatening voices.

It is frustrating to have visitors come to complain. This is my blog, it is out there for me to vent, try to see things differently and to help nannies be acknowledged as people not indentured servants as so many families think the should be. Being a nanny can be very isolating and knowing there are others out there experiencing the same things helps more than some can understand. A nanny pal put it more eloquently,
"It is great to know that I am not the only nanny on Earth who has issues with tricky parents even though I am lucky not to have such issues right now."

I'm going to let this go and see how things play out I will definitely keep you posted.

Activity Surge

On an average day my blog is visited by a handful people, picture day about 15% more and suddenly I've had a 400% increase, overnight. It doesn't make sense and I don't know what is going on, but something is afoot. I'll keep you posted.

Weekend Bonus Post

Our new routine is awesome!!! Parents LOVE it! I love it!

But best of all - babies love it!

Jackson rolls!

Make way Jackson rolls!
Say hey! Jackson rolls!

Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar
Hey you!
Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your block to meet his eye!

Make way!
Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Are you gonna love this guy!

Jackson rolls! Fabulous he!
Jackson our-roller!
Genuflect, show some respect
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm
Brush up your sunday salaam
The come and meet his spectacular coterie [of toys]

Jackson rolls!
Mighty is he!
Jackson our-roller!
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
He faced the tummy time blues
A hundred people in shoes
Who rolled and made big news?
Why, Jackson rolls!

New Schedule

Without hesitation we began a new schedule today. Jackson and Tabitha have been cutting their first nap of the day short causing their awake period, before their big nap, to increase to nearly two hours. While two hours might not sound like very long, possibly some of you are thinking it's me who prefers not to have them awake so long, but spending two hours of awake time isn't the hard part, it's the sleeping afterwards. Their three hour nap that followed the two hours of awake time became a forty-five minute nap with a lot of fussing afterwards. Some days Jackson would do this, other days it would be Tabitha. The bottom line is, it became inconsistent with that forty-five minutes at the beginning being the only predictable part. If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times,

WAKING AT 45 MINUTES MEANS THEY ARE OVERTIRED.

This morning Roger and Sara aimed to feed them at 7:15 am, they made it to 7:05 am. Not bad.
I arrived at 8 am and the plan was for me to give them cereal and/or solids at 8:15 am. Good.
Our goal was to put them down for their first nap at 9 am. At 8:35 am Jackson lost it. Screaming, crying, done. Just by chance this corresponded with Roger's entrance into the situation. Roger can't handle telling either baby "no" or making them wait, for anything. We put both Jackson and Tabitha to bed. Jackson went to sleep almost immediately, 8:40 am, not too bad. Tabitha took another ten minutes of fussing, going to sleep at 8:50 am rather than 9 am, pretty good.

Jackson cycled around 9:20 am and went back to sleep, no crying whatsoever. Tabitha woke at 9:45 am and decided she was ready to play. She's just getting back to sleep now, after a little talking, a little playing and yes, a little crying. We're aiming for the next mealtime around 11 - 11:15 am to get down for their big nap around noon. But the key here is only to have them awake for one hour total, after that they get overtired and can't sleep longer than forty-five minute cycles.

This must be extremely boring to read, I apologize. I'm using my blog as documentation of each stage, transition and change.
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And, a recipe!
This morning we tried cinnamon pears with sweet potatoes - YUMMY!

Wednesday after Christmas.

This boy enjoys tummy time! Look at close he is to rolling over - do it Jackson! Roll over!!

Today was very long, very quick, rewarding and frustrating all at the same time.

Both tomatoes are off of their sleep schedule, exhausted and having a hard time, again.

But they ate like champs! Jackson took a 230mL bottle today! Way to go Jackson! Great feeding Norah!

They are loving their solid foods, everyday. We are up to four foods, two fruits, one vegetable and rice. Technically they can have prunes because they've both had prune juice, but we haven't fed them solid, i.e. pureed, prunes yet. Today we tried cinnamon pears, banana-pear combo and pruney-rice with banana-pear combo. The "Samara-Pears" both varieties, were a huge hit as compared to the Ger6er pears which received scrunchy-faces and were pushed from both babies mouths. Samara's Pears have it!!

Finally, both babies were frustrated that I'd been away two days longer than a regular weekend.

Jackson refused to look at me this morning. Literally. He took away my eye contact as punishment for being away from him for so long. When I continued to talk to him, knowing he'd eventually get over being annoyed, valid feelings - his to feel, he started to cry. Without fail this brought Roger and Sara running, both to coo over Jackson, but mostly feel sorry for me. What a way to begin the day!

Then this evening, Tabitha decided that even though we'd had a great day together, she was angry with me too. Maybe her perspective is to think ahead to tomorrow, whether or not I'll be back, whereas Jackson thought about the past. As I told Roger and Sara about her beautiful, social mealtimes she started to cry. Loud. Strong. Sudden. Both Roger and Sara freaked out, decided there must be something wrong. She settled into Rgoer's lap, happy as a clam, we talked some more. As soon as I returned to the topic of her eating, she started crying again, just as she had before.

These are two very clever babies. Roger and Sara may not see it but I see more evidence of their intelligence everyday.

My time off was lovely. Lots of driving but wonderful family time, all with my in-laweos. There was only one tantrum had the entire visit! Sadly that was given by my sister-in-laweo who is in her thirties and still lives at home. I've suggested to Norah we buy Mr. Seahorse for she and my parents-in-law, but we've yet to agree on it as an option. Maybe "Santa" will leave a few copies in next year's stockings!

Early Intervention

EI came this morning to check up on Jackson and Tabitha. They came early because it is best for Roger and Sara and only interrupts Jackson and Tabitha's sleep a little. Both the PT and our EI nurse were impressed with the progress the tomatoes have made. Jackson was a little cranky, sleepy this morning but still did an acceptable job. He is a baby so we can cut him some slack, right?

We need to continue working on tummy time, floor time in general and some specific suggestions included side play, to encourage the separation of top and bottom, seated positions, to increase trunk strength, and putting toys in their hands, to increase grasping, opening of fists and toy transfer. Tabitha transfered a toy between both hands while they were here, I was very proud. Roger and Sara haven't even seen her do this yet! Jackson seemed stronger on his tummy, more of his chest and stomach were off of the ground. He was also infinitely more verbal but Tabitha saw plenty opportunities to share her raspberry-type spitting that I so loathe. Much as Sara and our EI nurse thought it was cute. I don't think either Roger or PT agree and I surely don't think it's cute in any way.

Tomorrow morning will be a weigh in and RSV for each baby. I'll come into work late but Norah will join me because she's on Christmas break from school, as of this past Monday, and today is her last workday before she gets a break from that too. I was telling her how the housekeeper received a Christmas bonus yesterday and hoping that meant I'd get one too, she was saying how she definitely won't get a bonus as her work is an unpaid internship. As she gets a three week break I told her, that is a pretty good bonus! Looking at it from that perspective she had to agree!