This blog has been abandon for three hundred and fifty-five days. My last position, an experience as much as it was, became really tough. Or started tough. Or possibly, if I'm honest with myself, was always tough. Blogging about it gained me a lot of negative feedback and frustration so I stopped. But, for some reason, I couldn't delete this blog. There aren't enough nanny blogs out there. This entire profession has the quietest, faintest little voice.
I love what I do. I love working with families. I love spending my days helping children. I love parenting; as an idea, a theory, a concept and a practice. I am not a parent. I do spend my days child-rearing. I take walks, make bottles, do laundry, create weekly menus, plans and outings. I grocery shop and make T@rget trips. And I love it. Every minute of it. I. Love. It.
To wrap things up before I move forward I need to tie up a couple of loose ends.
First, the names on this blog are ALL fictitious. Not one real name has ever been used. At one point I did refer to the children via nicknames and their parents as "mom" and "dad" and this really bothered people. Somehow using these general terms felt personal to other "moms" and other "dads". As soon as I switched the terms I used I was accused of changing complete posts - a fun idea but not really my style. Doing this would have taken an eternity [of effort time and thought-process] whereas search&edit, a quick way to replace single words in a document takes minutes. Going forward know that each family's identity has been preserved and is special to me.
Second, I'm with a new family. This is a long story that I will share now.
My last family took an overseas trip in the Spring, right around my birthday actually. During their trip Norah and I took the opportunity to visit Europe for the first time. [the family was also in Europe but we were hours apart] We had a great trip. They had a great trip. But within that first week back I was informed that they'd be starting their children in daycare come summertime.
Okay, take a breath. This is my opinion and I realize every situation isn't the same.
I don't believe that daycare has more to offer than one-on-one personal care, i.e. a nanny. To some this may seem like self preservation and I can honestly understand why you'd believe that. But because I hate biases, especially in myself, I've tried to look at this issue from different perspectives. I've tried to imagine how I'd feel as a parent. And I've researched the topic.
First off I have to tell you, some families have no other choice. Nothing wrong with that. But if you can afford Peps! would you choose to buy S@st@ brand soda? Life has trade offs and individuals choose where to compromise, spend less on housing to afford more electronics, spend less on entertainment to afford organic produce, spend less on one car so you can have two, and so on. And I'm okay with that. If a family chooses daycare because it fits their budget better that is great. But daycare isn't the better choice. Daycare isn't worth paying MORE for.
Okay, I sat down with the family, [what were their names?], Jackson and Tabitha's parents, and told them I'd like to talk about their decision to switch to daycare. We planned a time and only Jackson & Tabitha's mother sat down with me. She listened to my perspective, I presented the hows and whys, including research [which is incredibly hard to find!] and we left it at that. She took almost two weeks and we sat down again. She told me that ALL of her friends kids were in daycare at two years old. [EXACTLY why the last family choose daycare at two.] She also told me that she had feelings for both, daycare would cost more, be more work for them and keep the kids fewer hours each day, but her
gut feeling was that it was the right choice. And that was it.
I told her that it was their decision and I'd help them transition to the best of my ability. We made lists of school supplies, backpacks, lunchboxes, etc. I created meal plans to ensure the kids were able to get enough protein, the daycare didn't allow meat or nuts, two huge sources of protein for Jackson and Tabitha. We talked about quick dinners that would be easy to prepare after picking them up from daycare. And I started talking to Jackson and Tabitha about it. We read stacks of books from the library, tried out their backpacks, talked about how I wouldn't be there but that I'd always love them. And we started singing the ABC song. They loved that part.
Then, before I knew it, we were into transition week. They did great. The daycare workers said that Jackson and Tabitha were amazing [exactly what had been said about the previous set of twins when they started daycare]. They went on and on about how you'd never know this was their first organized daycare experience. They were good listeners, talkative, active and social. [Because kids with nannies are antisocial?!]
And that was it. I said goodbye on a Friday in June. I registered with some agencies and took a temporary position for the month of July. The family, great friends of Jackson and Tabitha's parents, had two daughters, one too young for daycare, the other, same age as Jackson and Tabitha, in daycare since twelve weeks old.
July sped past and included a week long visit to the southern United States with five teenagers from church. You'd think taking five teenagers, all sixteen and over, on a flight and week long experience away wouldn't be very tough. But they were someone else's children, just like my work. It was a lot of responsibility and Norah and I worked very hard. They were amazing and we had a great time but it was very much work.
August came and I still didn't have anything lined up. I worked an extra week with the temporary job and went to more interviews. I worked with two agencies primarily and continued to search on my own, meet with friends of friends and put my name out there.
Finally, I met my current family.
And that my friends is a story for another post.
