Multiple nights found she and her parents up at 3am, listening to screaming and wearing densely packed bags under their eyes the next day - all three of them. Helena admitted that a great deal of it is Ivy testing them and we talked about compromises. Doing things that communicate to Ivy this is how we do things, while still parenting in a way that feels loving and nurturing - never sliding down that road of doing things they don't believe in that can later lead to guilt-parenting.
With all of my heart I believe that parents should do what they believe in. But with just as much conviction I believe that children are very behavioral in their learning. If you bend one time, they are going to expect you to bend every. single. time. Consistency is key and regular sleep helps babies and children to grow.
One of the SIDS reports out there states that babies who sleep in the room with their parents until six months old are less likely to die of SIDS. Ivy takes every nap in her crib, in her room. I leave the door open, cover her lightly and she naps - going to sleep and waking up on her own. every time. Every night Ivy sleeps in a travel crib next to Helena & Mitchell's bed. She gets overtired, cries and has a hard time going to sleep. But she does sleep, in the crib,almost every night. At least once or twice each week she "can"t" make it through the night or becomes inconsolable and sleeps in the swing. It isn't a perfect system, but it is a system that is working for everyone.
Until this week.
I think a lot of things have come into play here. The biggest being the return to routine after four days off. Another variable is Ivy's level of health. Now Ivy is a healthy girl, eats well, sleeps well, grows predictably, etc, but after a visit with a lot of extended family she generally gets a stuffy nose. I'm sure it gets worse at night, but during the day, awake or asleep, you can't really tell. So there's that. Then there's another biggie, Ivy is creeping up on six months old. She is an astute girl who generally seems pretty quick. Want an example?
During the day it's generally just Ivy and I here. If she's feeling challenging or fussy she whines or complains mildly in her crib. It almost always passes. Now, occasionally Helena stays home from work or leaves later in the day. On days when she is here, even if Ivy doesn't see her, if she is feeling challenging or fussy she coughs. Now if Mitchell is home, late day, working from home, etc, when Ivy feels challenging she cries. A lot. And - if this doesn't illustrate enough, I have one more. Twice each week the housekeeper is here. How Ivy knows this from her bed I don't know, but on these days, when she feels challenging or fussy she talks and laughs. Not kidding. Every. time.
So, at night time, when she wants to play or have someone put her to sleep or snack or get a ride in the swing or just feels challenging or fussy she screams. She screams and screams and screams. And she stays up until after 9pm every night. Otherwise she'll scream.
She's working it. Helena knows it. Mitchell knows it. Norah isn't even here and Norah knows it.
Within the next two weeks Ivy is going to sleep overnight in her crib.
She's never done that.
We've never asked her to do that.
I wonder what she'll think about that?
