Madison and Addison, who are about Joanie's age, woke around 7ish and I got there around 8 am. They'd have had breakfast by then and fresh diapers. Since they'd be playing when I first arrived I tried to throw in a load of laundry right away. Then, ideally, it's ready to toss in the dryer just before we leave the house.
Once I'd come upstairs, I'd encourage them to poo, yes, in their diapers, while picking out their clothes and planning our day. Ideally I'd try to think of what we'd be doing that day the night before, while driving, going to sleep or relaxing. Then I could mentally go through their clothes and decide what would look best and/or be most appropriate. I have to tell you this, picking out their clothes, can be my undoing. I can spend wayyy too long doing it, the shoes, the socks, everything and that's after I've picked the basics.
So, if I can get them to poo then when I dress them for the day I can change them and not worry about wipes and diapers for our outing. Sounds silly but streamlining makes a huge difference, especially with twins.
Ideally, dressed, empty (already poo'd) children then follow me downstairs and play while I make a snack to take along. They continue to play while I choose outerwear. While they are engrossed in their playing I'd run downstairs and switch the laundry. If you have multiple loads, obviously, toss the next one in at this point. Then, once I've packed everything up, I put on their shoes.
Now, if Joanie is more independent and wants to, can or chooses to do some of these things by herself, they will take longer. But it's good because the more practice she has, the quicker she'll be at performing these tasks, the more confident and independent she'll feel and the better for everyone in the long run. Autonomy is an awesome thing and using it to your advantage makes your life easier rather than tougher.
Shoes on, snack in hand, I try to keep extra diapers in the trunk, we head out to the car. Since they can walk I encourage them to climb in on their own, this is key. The reasons are threefold. The climbing improves their gross motor skills and confidence, the physical aspect tires them out making nap time a lot easier later and the time it takes them to get in allows me the opportunity to close the door, load the extras, double check for diapers and finalize any plans I'm not quite sure of in my head. It also means I don't have to choose who gets buckled first, because they never end up ready at the same time. Autonomy is an awesome thing and using it to your advantage makes your life easier rather than tougher.
On an ideal day we are all buckled into our seats and I'm putting the car into gear around 9:30 am. Some days earlier, some days much, much later. Getting to places, like the children's museum, when they first open, helps us to avoid crowds. It also ensures a parking space, very important for me as I refuse to take a stroller once they can walk. Even though there are two of them I will not take a stroller. Why?
The walking improves their gross motor skills and confidence, the hand-holding and listening increases their attention spans. In a stroller most kids zone out and don't pay any attention. It makes me pay more attention because I look for opportunities to let go of their hands and keep them safe through interaction rather than physical restraint. The physical aspect tires them out making nap time a lot easier, activities more fun because they are stronger and their stamina is amazing (in the good ways) and they can play better and do more than their peers because of this strength and stamina. Plus the time it takes them to walk, pay attention or figure out what going on allows me to plan our next steps more fully and learn more about their perspectives as individuals. Autonomy is an awesome thing and using it to your advantage makes your life easier rather than tougher. Having them walk, rather than pushing them, does make getting places take longer. But not as much as you'd expect. And the more you do it, the faster they get, the more you look forward to it and actually realize the journey is as much (if not more) fun as the event.
Here's a HUGE benefit to no stroller - when we get into the museum we NEVER fight about leaving! By the time we've been there 25-45 minutes they are exhausted. Think of everything they've done already.
woke up
new diaper
breakfast
played
poo'd
dressed
climbed stairs
played
walked to car
climbed into car
relaxed, listened, looked
climbed out of car
walked
played
Another benefit is that we're never "stuck" if there's no elevator nor do we waste time waiting for elevators.
A good morning is 1/3 driving, 1/3 walking/climbing, and 1/3 activity/playing. Obviously the driving is broken into two parts, coming and going, as is the walking/climbing.
Ideally we'll go home, have lunch, climb back upstairs, change diapers (yep, they haven't been changed since their poo earlier in the morning), read a story, sing a song and go to bed.
I aim for a nap between 12 and 1:15 pm. Then encourage them to sleep until 3-3:45 pm. If I could choose I'd do 12:45 - 3:15 pm every day. But we need flexibility and they fluctuate just like everyone else. Since they only take one nap per day, I really push 2 hrs minimum. If they sleep less than that, say 1.5 hrs, they can't make it through the afternoon. 45 minutes doesn't count as a nap, if they wake at this point I just wait and they almost always go back to sleep. Of course there are times when they only sleep 1.5 hrs and we plan our afternoon accordingly.
While they nap I fold the laundry, clean up their snack stuff and straighten anything out of place from the morning. If I get everything done then I take time for myself. If it has been a really exhausting morning, lots of driving, fussy kids, non-eaters, my period, headaches, non-nappers, whatever, I try to take time for myself first knowing that laundry and "stuff" always ends up getting taken care of. If I put them down and they refuse to nap, then they have "rest time" during that period.
Now, I know that most parents don't do this and I'll tell you why it's bad. Not that it isn't ideal, but why it is actually bad.
Everyone needs a break. Babies need a break. Kids need a break. Adults need a break. Heck, dogs and cats, puppies and kittens need breaks. And everyone needs a break from each other. I'm one of the most extroverted people you'll meet and I need a break. For a long, long time I denied this. I'd complain about having them nap, especially if they weren't napping, and say it would be so much easier to just go do something with them then to listen to them complain. I was wrong, I was in denial. I needed a break. They needed a break.
Whether or not they take a nap, the afternoon is going to come. They are going to have to function in the world. They will have to eat again. And if they are so cranky they can't stand themselves at 2 pm, what do you think dinner and bedtime will look like?
Do you know that kids who get too little sleep are harder to put to bed? They are also more likely to have nightmares. They are more often heavier, to unhealthy levels, although not always. And, kids who don't get enough sleep, are sicker. Having a rest time, even without napping, makes bedtime easier.
Okay, end of my rant on sleep, it has taken years, but I'm an advocate for sleeping, naps and regular bedtimes. It is a big deal.
Alright, so, 2 hrs of nap time for self time and housework and/or busy-work. I try to always eat when the kids eat. This saves time, models proper etiquette, because they learn more from watching what you do than from listening to what you say, and keeps me from needing to eat, thus overeating, while they are asleep. I also eat healthier when I'm eating with kids than when I just grab something. For you it's even more important because it teaches Joanie that YOU are just as important as she is. Mothers who don't value themselves or their importance, raise kids who don't value themselves. By taking time for yourself you are telling her that you are an important person too. And you are, without you there'd be no her. Right?
Around 3-3:30 pm, I get them up, change diapers and while they play I put the laundry away. Then we do an activity. If they are cranky and still tired I keep it low key, if they've napped and gotten up pleasant and relaxed we do something a little more fun and exciting. If they've slept late and there really isn't much time left in the afternoon, we might stay home. No matter how perfect their naps are I make sure we stay home at least one afternoon per week. I've taken care of kids who can't get through an afternoon, 1.5-2 hrs, without needing to go out. While I'm a huge advocate for getting out and getting fresh air, being able to amuse yourself at home is just as important a skill.
Once the laundry is done we get a snack and then put on shoes, unless we're staying home, then we go downstairs for a snack and just hang out. Occasionally I'll pack a snack to take with us and we'll leave sooner. Making a point to have an "in" afternoon gives me the opportunity to catch up if I'm behind on anything. I use these afternoons to organize their drawers, take out clothes that are too small, sort toys that are no longer appropriate, lay out clothes for the next day or plan the next day, take pictures of them, make lists of needed items or groceries, etc. Whatever needs to be done.
Around 5 pm we go downstairs and I make dinner. If it's been an "in" afternoon I may have started dinner earlier, if we've been out I try to get back by 5 to get dinner started. Of course some nights we hit traffic or are just running late. Not a big deal. Five is what I like to aim for. They play while I do dinner and then get into their chairs and are eating when their mom comes home. I generally don't sit to eat with them at dinner but take the opportunity to finish anything up, emptying the diaper pail, straightening toys from playtime, organizing things for the next day, preparing a snack for the next day, more cooking, grocery list, etc.
Once a week I extend morning playtime to change their sheets. I also make lists of things that they need or do research about them, their development, special products, activities, etc. I try to fit these things into "me" time while they nap or rest.
If I were to stay late, some nights I've done this for whatever reason, then the rest of the evening would go like this.
Once they finish eating, or 6:15 pm, we put everything away and go up to the bath. I let them climb the stairs because I've already washed their hands and faces. The key to not having a hundred things to do when they go to bed is to do them as you go. When we head up to the bath the kitchen is done, bibs rinsed, chairs clean, food put away, dishwasher loaded.
Then I give them a bath, brush their teeth, and put on their pajamas. We'd read a few stories, four max, then sing a song and I'd put them to bed. Then say goodnight and close the door.
That's it, end of day, end of work because everything has been taken care of as the day went on.
