Making time to blog . . .

Taking time to sit still and blog is getting harder and harder. While there are plenty of opportunities during each day to sit still, I rarely feel like using them for blogging unless I am annoyed and need an outlet to vent. That must make this blog really boring to read, although that doesn't seem to matter as most of my readers have disappeared anyway. Not that I mind much, it takes my self-inflicted pressure off, kinda.

With such mobile tomatoes I want to keep moving too. Or I just want to watch them. Watch Tabitha stand up. See Jackson crawl. I love the movements that are starting to look like dancing and the way crawling comes naturally and looks more like ballet than work.

Growth and Opportunity

Hello out there! I've been consumed by another project, alright, there are a few, and neglecting this blog. But I'm here to give you an update and hopefully jump back on the blog-wagon.

The Tomatoes are doing great!
Tabitha crawls everywhere and has recently become obsessed with climbing people. She'll climb other objects but prefers people. She's been enjoying a good crawl over, grab hold, then she lifts onto her knees. Over the last week we've regarded this as her favorite position. But Tabitha, she is a-changin'. Knees aren't enough, now our eleven month old missy wants to be all the way up on her feet. And this girl is tall! She's still in the 50th percentile for height and weight for her actual age - we're only correcting for developmental assessment purposes - otherwise missy Tabitha is jamming along! How one tiny little-grape tomato born an entire trimester early can just catch up in a matter of months is beside me, but she sees to be doing it. And make no mistake, she's HUGE!! Depending on the article, manufacturer, and cut of clothing she can wear a size 18 months or a 3T, oh yes, I said a 3T!!

Jackson is still quite a bit smaller. Being a boy he is just barely on the chart, just. barely. But he's definitely growing and looks AMAZING. He still has trouble with ref1ux and with all of the food he eats has some terribly stinky spit ups. But he does eat, loves the solids and the ref1ux doesn't seem to hinder his sleep. His crawling is less traditional, it's more of a seal crawl then a hands and knees crawl. It seems to take quite a bit of work, effort + energy, and he was only using it when he really wanted something for about two weeks. As he's perfected his skills and increased stamina and determination, he's gotten faster. Now he does a seal crawl on hyper speed which looks a lot like this in action. It's unbelievably cute, especially next to his perfectly determined to do it perfectly crawling sister. I've actually taken a video of them racing and hope to get it on our sister site this week or next. They really are too cute.

Now both Tomatoes (and of course when I say Tomatoes I mean it in the most beautiful and endearing way, much like this) can get down from a seated position and each has put themselves into a seated position, Jackson by chance and Tabitha purposefully just this week.

They are babbling like crazy, mama, dadad, bababa, variations of my name - especially Jackson, Tabitha prefers to crawl over and pull on my pant-leg, and doing it all the time. There are loads of High5's in the house, clapping and saying "Yay!" are equally prevalent.

Our PT continues to come every week. Soon we may begin climbing stairs.

Roger and Sara seem to be doing well. Although as more developmental growth occurs more discipline related issues arise and I can see more concerns regarding the future. Norah has come across some research regarding preemies-parent interactions based on believed vulnerability. And while both Roger and Sara are doing great jobs I'm trying to find a polite way to suggest they go into therapy. Having a traumatic birth story and NICU stay is a lot harder than most parents are willing to admit. Research has found it may cause PTSD in one or both parents.

Parenting is tough work. Taking care of yourself, your children, your spouse, your career, finances, life in general is a lot of work. Taking regular time to stop and have another person only think about you - that would be great for every parent (nearly every person if you ask me), imagine how stress-relieving it could be for a parent who has even more on their plate. Going the therapy doesn't imply that one is broken and needs fixing, it just allows one an opportunity. The opportunity itself is variable and differs from person to person. But if one has adequate healthcare and can make and hour every other month, month, week, why not give oneself that opportunity?

Physical Therapy and us.

We've been working on our physical therapy. My goal is three times per day - per baby. I did this three days out of five last week. This week I'm having a good day if we can get in once per day - per baby. But, as luck would have it, all of our work last week was good. Tabitha can now raise herself into the all fours position, before this wasn't possible. She could get onto elbows and knees but not support her weight on her hands. Not only can she support herself up there - but she can put herself into that position!

Jackson can hold himself in the transitional position once you get him into it.

Both tomatoes can rock back and forth when on their hands and knees.

Jackson regularly moves himself backwards, kind of a reverse commando-crawl, and has explored quite a bit of the house.

Most exciting, as far as development goes, we've passed our nine month milestone!!! Yes it's true - the Tomatoes are nine months old!!! Soon we'll have our last RSV shots, two each!, and be ready for a brand new phase, I just can't wait!

Way to go!

Jackson has gained a pound since his last visit to the specialist! He doesn't need to go back until his birthday!! Hooray for Jackson!!!

Of course there was no napping this morning. Tabitha thought 45 minutes would suffice and Jackson decided 35 was plenty. I don't need to tell you that they were extremely fussy until their next nap when they slept a whopping 2.5 hours!!! Oh yes - they woke up the cutest, snuggliest little tomatoes you've ever seen!! It was a great afternoon! (that is if I leave out the part about Tabitha's new trick, called manipulating adults!!! she focuses on Roger but feels confident enough to put everyone through the wringer!) We even enjoyed some great floor time - have I told you how awesome they are getting with gross motor skills??? Oh wait around, that post is coming!

Reflux Theory.

Alright, I'm not going to make any friends with this post, but so far, despite any efforts on my part, I've made few friends with my opinions. This blog is not for anyone else. It is for me. To chronical my days, help me make better sense of my experiences and if it can help others BONUS. If it make you angry then it is your choice not to read it. 

Reflux.

Over the last five years I've encountered 500x more reflux than I did during my first five years of nannying. This makes sense as reflux cases are on the rise. There are literally more cases of reflux now than there were ten years ago. 

Right now, I'm taking care of twins, Jackson and Tabitha. Both born at 25 weeks, both the same size at birth and both adorable. Only one has reflux. Jackson spits a lot.  Tabitha spits the normal amount but it never affects her eating, attitude or growth. Jackson is smaller because of the amount that comes back out. He has trouble with some feedings and at time refuses to eat at all. 

This was also the case with Madison and Addison. Little Miss Madison is tiny, she spit a lot and ate significantly less. Food was always an issue with her, bottles were a struggle and weight gain was slow.

Before them there were another set of twins, just like Jackson and Tabitha, where the little guy had pretty bad reflux. A set of identical twins that also had tough reflux without the weight gain issues. And a sibling pair, not twins, Ethan and Ava who both seemed to suffer from reflux.

Of course after seven children with reflux issues, all different gestations, locations, different people, I've seen similarities. I see one particular stereotype with Jackson regularly. I've verbalized this to Roger and Sara to be poo-poo'd and have it forgotten/disregarded. Yesterday though, it was pretty blatant.

The more tired Jackson becomes, the more he spits. I've noticed this on many occasions. Roger believes the spitting comes from quantity, position, activity, excitement, many other things, but that it isn't predictable and/or avoidable. Because Roger is Jackson's father, we get to go with his theories first, always. Fine. I'm a rather patient person.

About a month ago, Jackson was spitting quite a bit. He was also overtired and having trouble sleeping regular, long periods. But don't think about that, his numbers were up. For me he was taking 220 - 240 mL. Roger decided, convinced Sara, this was the problem. They told me to cut Jackson off at 200 mL. Above that was just too much for him. I did and the spitting continued. Because my theory was just that, we continued limiting Jackson's bottles to 200 mL. After two weeks he visited the pediatrician who said that he wasn't getting enough total volume for the day. We needed to increase his over-all quantity. Sara thought about it and decided the only way we could do that would be to let him eat as much as he wanted at each bottle. About a week ago I was allowed to increase his per bottle volume again.

Surprisingly enough, his spitting didn't increase. But on the nights it was huge, he was really tired. Now, the original decision to limit his volume was based on this late evening spitting. Just a side note. There were no large spits during the day when he was well-rested. 

Alright, now you have the background.

Yesterday Jackson decided that I needed to know when he was ready for bed. Apparently I hadn't been responsive enough on his schedule. After his breakfast he played for a few minutes then let out this terrible screaming-cry. It was awful! I told him it was too early for bed and tried to distract him. He wasn't having it. After almost five minutes of trying, I gave up. This cry was truly awful. I took him to bed. He was asleep within seconds and slept for almost two hours, rather unheard of for this morning nap. 

He woke up, hung out, played, got annoyed, but didn't use that painful cry again. He ate his lunch, played more and BAM! there it was again! So, so awful. I looked at the clock, figured this was late enough and put him to bed. Exactly as before, he snuggled in and went to sleep immediately without complaint. 

He slept another two hors and forty five minutes! While a long nap isn't out of the ordinary for my tomatoes, two long naps, right after each other, are. Jackson woke up happy, relaxed and calm. We had a great time playing. He ate and played for another fifty minutes. 

Of course after two amazing naps he was hungry. He took 240 mL twice, also unheard of for our little dude. But no spits. Even dry burps. I'm not sure if you know anyone with reflux, but dry burps and spit-free post bottle sessions are pretty rare. Then, at five o'clock, he did the screamy-cry. It was so bad! But it was five, too late for a nap. I told him, apologized, but I couldn't put him to bed, it was too late. 

Then, it happened. And happened. And happened. He spit and spit and spit. He'd eaten an hour before and hadn't spit at all, but as soon as he'd become over tired, he started spitting. The spitting continued the rest of the night, well, it had lessened just before I left, but it's likely it continued after I left. He took a bath and fell asleep almost immediately. He was so tired.

Ethan, my other little guy with terrible reflux, never slept. Seriously. This little boy broke his leg as a young toddler and spends most of his life sick. He never sleeps. His diet was outstanding but his growth slow and stunted. He was breastfed well into his first year, actually he was closer to two when his mom weaned him, and fed on demand. But he had the worst case of reflux. Then his sister, also breastfed, had trouble with reflux too. 

From my experience, reflux increases as sleep decreases. As the number of average reflux cases has increased the average amount of sleep has decreased. 

Obviously just having a good sleeper doesn't keep your kid from having reflux, but my best sleepers have had the least trouble with reflux. Sleep increases their growth potential, increases mental health and stability, improves their appetites, refreshes and rejuvenates their bodies, improves and increases their attention spans and brain power plus allows their bodies time to just be, what's wrong with just trying?

Mursday

Yep, it's true. I had to do it. I've created a new weekday name, couldn't help myself. It fits perfectly.

This morning was tough, super tough. It was a Monday morning. Cranky, yelling babies, short naps, over-tired fuss-pots who weren't pleased with anything. Of course we just had to deal, so I pushed their bottle a little later and took them for a walk. Both fell asleep immediately and slept soundly the duration of our walk.

Still tired and hungry when they woke up, we plodded through the feeding and off the little tomatoes went for their second naps of the day. After some strong and loud protests both were sound asleep.

And BAM! it became like a Thursday afternoon. 

Both took beautiful naps and woke up in the best moods. 

Better yet, they woke up 25 minutes apart so I actually had the opportunity to enjoy their awesome moods with some relaxed one-on-one. Giggles, smiles and cuteness prevailed and the afternoon was wonderful.

My first Mursday, I love it.

Evening Excitement

We had quite an even this week. A neighbor tried to make a fire in her fireplace and smoked us out! It was pretty rough. I called Roger and Sara to ask about their location and Roger seemed to be trying to tell me that things weren't as serious as I was suggesting. The funny part of this is that I'm at least 60x more relaxed about emergencies than most. Honestly. I approach things calm, cool and collected because if I were to freak out everyone around me would too.

Roger ended up calling me back a minute or two later to try and learn more. Apparently when he'd hung up the phone Sara told him exactly what I just explained to you. She said, "If Samara is calling it's probably pretty serious."

A few minutes later they arrived home and Sara freaked out. Her babies were born pretty early to be risking the health of their lungs over someone's stupidity. 

Apparently this neighbor has done this before. She knew she'd screwed up and unplugged her fire alarms. Our place was full of smoke and she didn't think she should even check on us our mention it. She knows there are two babies here. And I kept telling myself to relax because there wasn't a smoke alarm, it must have been a neighbor using a wood burning stove. 

Sara called 911 while Roger talked with the neighbor. There was a lot of excitement and a lot of drama. The entire place reeks of smoke. They opened everything up despite it only being in the thirties and colder overnight. We had three fire engines here and at least five fire fighters came tromping through the house. There wasn't a fire just lots and lots of smoke. The babies were tired, it was the end of their day, but held up pretty well. Because we visited with another neighbor while the house was aired we got to see something we probably wouldn't have otherwise. Jackson is developing some stranger anxiety. Tabitha not so much. We'll see how it develops. 

For now though, we're all fine, the smoke smell is decreasing and we're all looking forward to a quiet remainder of the week. Hope yours are equally calm, relaxed and uneventful.

 

Making Baby Food

I love making baby food.

Choosing the food, 

making the grocery lists, 

organizing the supplies.

Cutting, cooking, tasting.

Keeping as much as possible. 

Knowing what's inside.

Putting the clean, 

fresh food into the food processor.

Cooking unripe fruits, vegetables, 

mixing everything together.

Seeing it go from big to small, 

untouched to ready for babies.

The entire set up, 

everything ready to be made for little mouths.

Putting everything in, attaching the lid, 

then pushing that little button.

And BAM! what was once a pear is now pear puree, 

nearly ready for little peanuts to eat.

Going from coarse to chunky.

Then from chunky to smooth in seconds.

Then freeze and organize, ahhh, choices.

I love making babyfood. 

When I first started making baby food I was excited but intimidated. What would I make? Would there be enough time? Could it really be as good as those tastey bites in the jars? Would the kids eat it? Was it better? Worse? How would it travel? 

The more I made, the better it was. I started with a blender then Clover bought me this awesome food processor, just like hers, for Christmas last year. I do it while the kids nap. Finding new combinations is the best part. 

There are loads of books out there. Super Babyfood was what I started with. But I love, Love LOVE Annabel Karmel. She comes up with the most random and yummy combinations. Her books are beautiful just to look through. And she's a mom. I also look at store brands, Ger6er, etc, for combination ideas. There are loads of websites out there and the possibilities are endless. Right now the tomatoes only eat about ten foods or so, but we've had at least twenty to thirty combinations. It's fun to make, we know what's inside, it costs so much less and having parents buy ingredients is a great transition. Going from formula to jars of food keeps parents from moving around the grocery store with baby in mind. They go to one aisle and done. Baby is compartmentalized. When I make a grocery list, introduce new foods and talk with parents, they begin thinking about foods and baby. Before long they make suggestions of their own and this proliferates itself when finger foods enter the picture. 

By dragging my feet just a little, parents get the opportunity to take initiative. This empowers them and involves them more in baby's development. It starts small, and grows out of control. I know I've done a good job when the parent thinks they no longer need me at all.

This sounds harsh, and when, in actuality, it happens, I feel frustrated and slighted. But consider the reverse.

A family of three is becoming a family of four. They invite Norah to come help when the new baby arrives. Planning to start her doctorate Norah asks if I can tag along. After a brief discussion both parents agree (I too was starting my doctorate this gave them two part timers). I'm not a conceited person, but Norah and I are amazing nannies. 

So here we are, new city, new family, new schools, the nicest mother you've ever met, an absolutely adorable two year old little boy and a father that just seemed to go with the flow (and travel a lot). Did I mention mom pampered us? 

It was awesome, we gave it our all. Mom ran around like a crazy person toting us with her while dad traveled. They never had to think about anything. Everything was done before they could let the tiniest part of the thought of it enter their minds. We all got along wonderfully. The kids were happy, we were happy, etc. 

Then, things started to happen.

Family would go on vacation, without us, why not? things were SO easy. And two year old would get hurt. They all got sick. Another vacation, again, things happening. Standing outside of the house, lil'dude falls and has to go to the emergency room.

We didn't know it at the time but we, Norah and I, were so helpful that mom and dad had just checked out. They never needed to think about the details, so they didn't. 

Things were off, but we couldn't put our fingers on it.

Then we went on vacation.

We were gone for a couple of weeks around Christmas. We had a great time and felt ready to go back to work. While we were gone though...

Apparently infant-girlie had been in bed and become so far buried under the down comforter that she couldn't breathe. When they found her she was blue. 

She was fine, but needless to say it was a wake up call. 

Things like this never happened when we were around but they were happening more and more when we weren't. Both having undergrad degrees in psychology we wondered if it could be Munchausen by Proxy. The type of accidents didn't seem to fit, but there was definitely something amiss.

Within a week we gave our notice and moved back to the East Coast. Not sure of the best course of action we kept in touch with the family and lived our lives. Within six weeks they were getting things back on track. No more random emergency room visits, less sickness, fewer accidents. And that's when we realized, we had been too helpful. Mom and dad were checked out and these accidents were caused because no one was paying attention. As soon as we were gone they had to get back in the game.

While we miss that beautiful city, we've never regretted our decision to leave. We still love the family and each of us has visited the other multiple times since our departure. All are well and we've remained close friends. I've intentionally left their names out of this because everyone makes mistakes and no one needs to be defined by them. You'll hear about them in regards to other things, but we'll not associate their names with this example. Suffice to say a nanny's job requires more than making the parents' lives easier. It is important to empower parents because they are the ones kids will spend their lives with, not the nanny.

Easy Tuesday Post and Update rolled into one!

Lucky for me Norah is bored at work today. She's stuck there waiting with the tomatoes on her mind apparently. A few months back, okay, that's not true, quite awhile ago, she tested Jackson and Tabitha using the Bayley. (see this post if you are curious)

Today, because she's bored, she's done it again, although not as completely. The first test she actually did for practice and this one she did from observation and memory, not exactly precise, but it gives us a great idea because Norah is rather observant. This is what she has to say;

I looked at the bayley for gross motor and both Tabitha and Jackson are at 6mos! That's good since they are 5mos corrected!  okay, actually from my guessing it put Jackson at 5:10 and Tabitha at 6... but still, close enough.

4:20 and 5 for fine motor
8 for expressive communication
6 for receptive
5 for cognitive

I think, based on the test items, that they would have more chances to practice these skills if they were frustrated more often, not having toys given to them... Still, they're doing really well! I guessed for fine motor and that puts Jackson a little bit behind corrected age, but not much, and everything else is right on target with corrected age, so not too bad.  A lot of the things I said they couldn't do had to do with getting objects that were out of reach by manipulating the world around them, more than moving themselves or fussing... receptive vocab stuff they peaked out at understanding "no" (since they never hear it) and social routines like peek-a-boo and pati-cake (also not a part of their world)... so they should be showing more understanding of how to stop something, or themselves, or how to ask for something or show they like it (which is measured by requesting social routines)...

And there you have it! Later this week I'll have some weights and heights to check out where they are on their growth charts. 

PEAS, day 1.

Yes! We tried peas today! Both Jackson and Tabitha seem to really enjoy them. I'd say that Jackson likes trying new things and Tabitha likes eating. Both were a little hesitant with pears and apples initially and love them now. Next week we'll find out about next foods, I'm looking forward to proteins and whole grains. I know I'm going to have to wait for both, but they'll be worth it!

PT and EI came today. Both tomatoes are progressing normally. Nothing to worry about, continue with floor time and work specifically on sitting with as little support as possible. Both interventionists acknowledged improvement but neither let on that they were impressed at all. They did acknowledge both Jackson and Tabitha are behind, but learning in the regular, expected order. This is good to know, but being 25 weekers, their development is ONLY delayed. That is AWESOME! Why not mention that? They'll come back again, next month, no need for anyone new to come just continue on.

I am very proud of Jackson and Tabitha as well as Roger and Sara. I think they are all doing an amazing job rolling with the punches, developing themselves and growing like crazy. Too bad I'm just the nanny and people expect me to say that, little do they realize how high my standards and expectations are and what a compliment it really is!

On my own and yummy solids.

Back to work for real today. No Norah, no staying home. It's all me after nearly a week of being away. Our day has been great! Both tomatoes are sleeping well, relaxed and happy. We've taken nearly six hundred pictures, had tummy time, social time, floor time, made formula, bottles, prepared peas for tomorrow, napped, talked, sung - we are on it! If they'd clear the sidewalks we could have a nice walk, but since they haven't and it was a little slippery when I came in this morning, I don't see that happening today. It is supposed to get warmer as the week progresses, maybe we can count on clear sidewalks at least one day this week.

It is truly amazing how strong and opinionated Jackson and Tabitha are getting. They are enjoying tummy-time play more than being on their backs. Both are getting frustrated that they are just stuck on their backs. Each can raise their hips to the side and roll from back to front with help, but without help - they are Stuck! Jackson is super smiles today, all light and friendliness. Tabitha is Mrs Chatty-Pants. So unbelievably cute and loud!

Tomorrow we're having peas for the first time, hooray for new food! Our list is getting big! I'm looking forward to having well-rounded meals with all the food groups. We can't start proteins yet, but definitely by Spring. I'm really looking forward to giving them yogurt and cottage cheese - YUM!!

Finally, back to work.

Today I played with the tomatoes! I missed them SO much! And they've grown! I can't believe how much Jackson looks like a little boy! He's so cute. While it wouldn't seem possible, Tabitha's cheeks have gotten bigger! Both of them seem taller and even more active. Rolling over is seen more often, although not predictably so, and Jackson is moving backward! He is intentionally trying to move toward things but going backward - the first step to crawling! I can't wait!

Today Tabitha rolled over during naptime and couldn't get back to sleep. It was coming someday but it didn't make any less painful that she's gotten so big, loud and opinionated first. We'll get past it, but like everything it will take time. Jackson is all over his crib and spending a lot of time against the bars. It seems that once he's there he can't figure out how to move away. Although his timing today was impeccable. He burped, spit and then rolled over looking very proud and completely avoiding a face full of spit. It was extremely impressive.

While I was away, five full days, Roger and Sara not only managed but thrived, even taking an entire day and having an adventure. It was the first time the tomatoes sat inside of a restaurant! (I wish Roger and Sara hadn't taken them inside during RSV season, but I'm impressed at how relaxed they are feeling.) They sat near the door so there was a constant supply of fresh air and weren't around any other people. Both said they felt relaxed and enjoyed themselves. The tomatoes were calm and social. Aside from very little napping, which happens, it sounds like the perfect day. I'm glad they are feeling so comfortable and up to taking adventures. They are really enjoying being parents and having fun with their tomatoes.

Tabitha has moved into the next size of diapers and they are onto another new food - carrots - yum! The GI says Jackson is doing well but to continue as we have been, increasing his pr.losec because of his weight gain, which was adequate. We're working toward a minimum of 22 ounces a day for him, Sara says they get close to that on a regular day and I always pass it so no worries. If we didn't have cheeky-Tabitha to compare him to he'd seem perfect, which he is.

I'm still not 100% myself, but my cough is gone, energy levels are up and (sorry if this is tmi) my mucus is clear, all signs that I'm on the up and up. Because I'm still runny I'm a walking advertisement for Pure11 and I can't kiss the tomatoes. It's really hard not to. Which is kind of funny. I never used to kiss the babies I cared for, honestly. I worried it would make the parents uncomfortable (I worked for a mom who spent so little time with her child that when the child would get hurt she'd prefer me, this was without giving her loads of physical affection and not being allowed to hold her, mom was also pretty insecure). Then I worked for this awesome family in California, Nick and Bree, who lavished love on each other, Ethan and Ava, Norah and me. It was wonderful and Bree wouldn't hear of Norah and I not bathing her children in hugs, kisses and endearments. She knew Ethan and Ava loved her and them showing us affection or the other way around, couldn't threaten that. Ever since working with them we've sought out confident families with parents that don't fear affectionate, loving caregivers for their children. It is hard for some to understand, but if you think of it in terms of extended family; an only child doesn't have more love to give than one with many siblings and cousins, there's always enough love. Thus, not being able to kiss and snuggle the tomatoes is really, really tough.

All ready to go back...

Roger and Sara gave me the go ahead and to return to work this morning. It was completely their decision, despite everyone's lack of certainty on the matter. It seemed this was great, we were all on the same page, but I couldn't sleep. I was worried all night about the tomatoes. Coughing, I didn't want them coughing. More and more ideas came to me about ways to be sure they'd be okay, but none seemed definite.

Then, this morning, I woke up with a wetter, deeper cough and the solution. I called Sara, she agreed, hope I feel better.

Home again, I'm feeling relieved that we know this is the right choice. And the tomatoes are healthy. Tabitha's tiny cough is gone, neither have fevers and they are eating and sleeping well. Good job Jackson ad Tabitha! Stay well and have a good weekend.

Uggh.

Uggh. (you know what that means, don't you?)

I'm home sick today. I missed an opportunity to have one on one playtime with Tabitha while Jackson was at the doctor's with Sara because I'm too (cover your ears) damn honest. I have a tiny sore throat, I could totally work today, instead I'm home in bed. Roger and Sara and I have an agreement that if I'm at all "off" I give them a heads up and they make the call. So I do, I call them, they talk it over and call me back. Of course this is only the second time it's happened, but telling them almost guarantees my staying home. I hate it, but I still do it.

I really could have used the extra sleep earlier in the week, but I made a point to go to bed early last night. No lie, I was in bed by 9:15 pm. Norah had some school work to finish up, put me to bed and stayed up. I hate being home sick. Hate it! The worst part is not knowing if I'll have to be stuck here again tomorrow. And, and I didn't get myself sick! I don't know anyone who is sick. I've been avoiding Addison and Madison, much to everyone's disappointment, all winter. every time we plan to get together they are sick so I cancel. (it's like they are in day care or something) Sara told me everyone in her office is sick, Norah says the same is true of her office, although she hasn't been in two weeks. My theory is that Roger and Sara are transporting the germs. I'm susceptible because my immunities aren't strengthened regularly because I stay home with the healthy little peanuts. We never go anywhere in order to keep them healthy. The down side is I'm never exposed to build immunities either. So I'm stuck here at home through no fault of my own, it would be one thing if I were getting something out of this, but all I'm getting is multiple hours in a row to think about missing Jackson and Tabitha, so unfair.

Tuesday that follows Monday...

Ahh, Tuesday, well, maybe not quite.
Yesterday there was a lot of diaper dirtying going on which may have affected regular napping. Today there has been a bit of crib-traveling, to the tune of heads pressed against the crib bars. Poor little tomatoes. Roger and Sara really don't want to put the bumpers all the way around, right now they are two sided, because then Jackson and Tabitha won't be able to see each other. But now that they can move they are both having trouble staying on the bumper sides and end up smushed along the unbumpered sides. When we help them it annoys Tabitha and over-stimulates Jackson to the point they both have trouble getting back to sleep. When we leave them to figure it out, they stay pressed up there and cry themselves to sleep along the bars. Neither way is working, we're all talking about our possible options. Roger has suggested making the bumpers three sided as they usually end up along the front long side rather than the short top side which is the one that faces their twin's crib. Sara wasn't sure this was possible, I assured her that it is, but she'd still like to try it this way a little longer.

Not really having strong feelings either way, I'm going to keep my mouth closed. I think they have a handle on it, Roger and Sara, whatever we decide Jackson and Tabitha will get used to and there's no danger to having the bumpers all the way around or not at all. Either way the tomatoes are safe so whatever is decided will work fine. Not sure if I'd mentioned this, but we've lowered the cribs. With all of this rolling ability we couldn't have the possibility of either tomato falling out of their crib. While Tabitha doesn't lift her head high enough for this to be an issue, Jackson gets his high enough that his chin could have cleared the railing. Neither minded the change although I'm sure they both noticed as the first time we put them in, after the change, there was a lot of looking around.

Speaking of changes that haven't been mentioned. Things are really, really good here. We've moved beyond that transition of Roger and Sara going back to work. We've, okay, Roger has created an awesome method for me to give them the pictures I take. (more about this in a minute) Tomatoes are thriving. And, oh you aren't ready for this. but here it comes...

Today Jackson tried to crawl!!
Now he is nowhere near crawling, but he's starting to try some new gross motor skills out that could lead to his crawling. In addition to lifting his entire chest and stomach off of the floor, he lifted his waist up. I know, not much different, but for him, HUGE! Then, when that didn't work, he was trying to get a toy just out of reach, he let his chest down, arms out to sides, and tried pulling his knees in! How smart is this tomato!

Tabitha has started hip-thrusts. She lies, on stomach or back, and thrusts her hips to the side. I'm not sure if she's trying to roll over, show her frustration or move her body but she's getting better at it and stronger.

They are both just so amazing. I can't believe how wonderful they are doing. Hoping that the EI and PT will be impressed when they come in a week or two.


---

Not really following up on many posts, getting it out I feel better and forget my frustrations, I've inevitably left some things out. Because my pictures are labeled by date, Roger and Sara know exactly when they were taken. I never hide pictures from them, but I also don't give them everything because I take way too many shots of the same thing. Sara took all of them once and was completely overwhelmed. Each time I give them new ones, and there are more than sixty in a batch, she asks, "You went through them right?" She really doesn't want all 300 of them, it's just too much.

Anyhow, one of the sets of pictures I gave them included pictures of auntie Laverne and auntie Shirley holding the babies. They were thrilled to get these! Because one of the aunties was sick for the beginning of their visit, there aren't as many pictures of her with Jackson and Sara, inevitably everyone takes more photos at the ends of a visit than in the middle. Both Roger and Sara were glad that I took some when she was dressing and feeding the babies. As it happened this was six hours before they removed the ban on auntie getting too close. Roger said they knew that morning that she was probably fine, but didn't think to say anything. That's why he noticed the date. I'm so glad I included her, it worked out really well and reinforced my judgement, experience and instincts when Roger mentioned it. While I never said so, just assured him that "of course I took pictures," it still felt good to be appreciated.

Monday, Monday.

It is Monday! How did this happen? Both Jackson and Tabitha were perfect this weekend. I don't use that term loosely, but they were. Completely adorable, sweet and schedule-loving! I actually came in over the weekend, spent the entire day with them and it couldn't have been better! 

Incidentally, as soon as I arrived Sara says,

"Samara! We LOVE the schedule!"

Not taking credit for something we've all worked on together, I told her that I'm glad that it works for them as well as Jackson and Tabitha, fitting a daily routine to four people plus meeting my expectations isn't easy and secretly I loved the praise. 

But I can't explain why today things have been so bumpy. Naps were a little shorter than usual and both Jackson and Tabitha were more sleepy than usual. At the end of the day, when I explained this to Roger and Sara, they were thrilled.

"So this means it isn't our fault?!"

Aww! Poor Roger and Sara! I assured them it couldn't be as I'd been here over the weekend and followed the schedule close enough without trouble, there must be something about Monday. We'll see how the week pans out. I'm hoping that Norah and I just wore them out with so much fun over the weekend that they were a little over-sleepy on Monday.

How could I forget the best part of the day?!?

Jackson rolled the ball to me! Intentionally! Six or seven times while lying on his back! Each time took awhile, but he was concentrating and definitely doing it on purpose. When I told Sara she said they'd been rolling the ball with him! Roger and Sara taught Jackson to roll a ball - and he learned! How brilliant is this family?!

Solid Food - Yum Yum!

You wouldn't believe how much the tomatoes enjoy their food. They love solids! Today we started oatmeal - Jackson is in love! He ate and ate the oatmeal until it was gone. It was adorable! He's generally cranky during the morning snack because he's getting ready for his nap, but today he was all about the oatmeal. Little cutie.

Good news? or Bad news?

Good and bad day. Tabitha was especially adorable during her awake periods but terribly fussy during her naps. She was overtired and kept waking at the 45 minute mark. I think she'll sleep better tomorrow, I'm looking forward to it.

Jackson had an extreme day. Despite his old issues with eating he's been doing especially well since beginning solids. He eats in a more relaxed manner and protests the bottle less, until this week. He's getting more opinionated and seems to be figuring out his autonomy. It's exciting to see his brain working so well and frustrating to experience his levels of autonomy. Right now what can he control? He's seven months old, has rolled over but doesn't seem to remember how, Roger and Sara have yet to see him do it, he eats, he sleeps, he poops. Pretty much he can control when he sleeps, how he sleeps, what and how much he eats and when he poops. Obviously he can choose when to be social, as he showed with his response to my being away, when he cries, laughs, smiles etc. But these are things most people realize right away. What I'm getting at is that Jackson is controlling his food intake, bottles mostly. Yesterday he showed us two extremes, early bottle, with Roger and Sara, he only took 60 mL, opposed to his regular 160 mL. The next bottle, my first of the day with him, he took 250 mL! Neither he nor Tabitha has ever taken that much. It was shocking! Then the following bottle he completely refused. I tried for thirty minutes, he'd take the nipple into his mouth and chew on it. Maybe, maybe 10 mL dribbled down his chin, maybe. The crazy part was his attitude, he wasn't uncomfortable or angry or even annoyed, he was happy, sweet and smiley - but not overly so that he was choosing social over eating.

Each time I'd try again he'd kind of whine at me as if to say, "Really? I really don't want it. I appreciate the offer." Of course after that nap he was hungry and extremely sensitive. Poor guy. He chugged down his snack bottle and ate solids like an addict, an adorable addict, but an addict nonetheless.

Roger and Sara are really growing as parents. They agree that he may not be hungry or is just becoming more opinionated. They aren't stressed or anxious which is awesome and wonderful. Next week he'll visit the GI again and we'll know if he needs his pr.losec increased, he's definitely grown.

Speaking of growing - you wouldn't recognize Tabitha! Her had has gotten rounder, she's darling! Huge, chubby cheeks, massive hamhocks and sparkling eyes. She smiles all of the time. It is great, they are truly thriving.

Drama Summarized

It's surprising to me that so early into the new year there are folks out there looking to start trouble. But it is a year, just like last year and folks will do what they do. Because of one or two women there has been a change in my blog. I've removed all of the photos, two unbelievably cute babies made them very uncomfortable. I'll still have these photos online so if you are a regular reader just drop me an email and I'll let you know where to find them (per Norah's suggestion, thank you Norah, you are right, most people really enjoy the daily photos with their updates).

Different perspectives are appreciated; disrespect, threats and hostility are not. While my opinions may not be the same as yours, when I disagree with Roger and Sara my blog gives me an opportunity to collect my thoughts, step outside of my emotions and review the situation(Aha!). So if my thoughts seem frustrated at times or emotion-laden and hastily collected this blog is not the extent of my expression. My blog is in no way a secret, hateful critique of Roger and Sara that I use to mask my actual feelings. I talk with them about each and every issue that arises and we each trust one another completely. Our relationship is built on honesty the same way I've built this blog. It is possible this honesty makes some uncomfortable, the reader may have felt personally critiqued by my use of general terms. The use of these general terms and nicknames may have also portrayed a feeling of secrecy and collusion. Neither of which I could have predicted nor expected. Shattering these feelings and aiding in separation, I've replaced my general terms with specific names.

Whether or not it has come across I've really appreciated this bit of excitement on my blog. It has increased my daily viewers, something I couldn't figure out how to do, opened different perspectives and given me the opportunity to read through my old posts, make connections, tie up lose ends and increase my dedication to this endeavor. Oddly enough it has also brought in more than a few job offers from other preemie parents. So thank you Aimee (at bad mummy dot com, interesting perspective of self) and Bree, you've really started something great here for me!

Roll While You Play! She can do it alll day...

Just roll while you play
Push up that tummy and turn like it's funny to roll far and wide
Just roll over now
Just do your best and take a rest and roll to on your side

When there's too much to do
Don't let it bother you, forget your troubles,
Try to be just like a cheerful chick-a-dee

And roll while you play
Come on get smart, gear up and start
To roll while you play

You guessed it! Tabitha rolled over today for Roger and Sara! They said she rolled and rolled and rolled (in between rolls they turned her back to her tummy so each time was from tummy to back over her left shoulder)! Hooray for Tabitha!

(yes, her song is shorter than Jackson's was, but it took more work and I haven't actually seen her do it yet so I'm singing off of Roger and Sara's excitement rather than my own this time!)