LateNight and SnuggleNaps

Yesterday was a VERY long day.
It started with such possibility. The tomatoes slept until 10:45am, when I finally woke them. I seriously hate waking anyone, especially babies, I think sleep is so important. But they needed to wake up with enough hours left in the day to fit four more bottles in.

Jackson, with his feeding frustrations, does best when the bottles are evenly spaced. But with waking up so late they ate later, this put their next two bottles pretty close together. Let's add Sara being there hovering to take in every aspect of how I feed Jackson (she just wants it to get better and if she can learn something that might work, she's willing to put in the effort), both Jackson and Tabitha being exhausted because after sleeping in so late their morning nap was tiny equals Jackson's tolerance being very low and him eating a bit less than usual. But pretty good.

Then the housekeepers came late. Sara was home to take a nap and we were pretty much shoved out the door to take a walk. I'm not complaining about the walk, I LOVE walking. Our location lends to visual interest and diversity. But my babies were tired before we started. They snoozed on the walk but nothing more than a fifteen minute stretch each. By the time our evening snuggle-nap* rolled around they were toast!

Exhaustion and feeding Jackson do not mix. Given the choice this tomoato would choose sleep over food in a heartbeat. So his evening bottle, with Roger and Sara both hovering over my every breath (what can I say? They are trying.), didn't go as well as I would have liked. An ideal bottle for Jackson is 200mL/cc. In the evening he takes between 30-60mL/cc for Roger and Sara. Last night for me he took around 160mL/cc. So he did alright. I wish I could say that I'm steadfast and what I do always works, but I'm can't. I do my best and sometimes it's just not as good as I'd like.

I believe in sleep and encourage it like crazy, but babies need to eat. Jackson needs to eat. Tomorrow Jackson and Tabitha go to get their 1st RSV shots. They will weigh them and as long as Jackson is growing we don't need to worry.

*Snuggle-nap; evenings are tough for many babies. Some call this period the 'witching hour' and it generally falls between 4-9pm. No matter what they do during the day my babies are tired around 4:30pm but have a tough time falling asleep. Because Roger and Sara won't regularly put them to bed in the evening we cannot establish a catnap. Our compromise/balance for this is a sling-nap when I'm there and when Roger and Sara are home one holds Jackson while he naps and they let Tabitha fall asleep in the swing for a short nap. I put on the sling, add one baby at a time then rock in the rocking chair for 30 minutes to an hour. Ideally they both sleep, if not they benefit from the body contact, being close to each other, navigating tight space with their twin and calm relaxation. On really great days they both fall asleep early on and as I rock I doze with them. But it is just as nice when one of them just looks around and touches the other during sleep. There's no crying during this time and we all enjoy the snuggle.

Early to Bed

Tonight I'm staying late so that Roger and Sara can meet with some like-minded folks and do some filming. In preparation for my long day today I planned to get to bed early last night, really early. Norah and I rushed home and immediately started dinner.
As we were finishing I received a call from Roger, Jackson was refusing to eat again.
Sara was exhausted from trying.
Jackson and Tabitha were already in bed.
Roger's reason for calling was to see if anything, anything was different during Jackson's feeds during the day.
As I had told him before I left his house an hour earlier, Jackson had a great day. Ate wonderfully. He possibly had an even better time eating than previously. I didn't know what the problem was.
Roger continued, pushed, rephrased the same question, asked multiple times.
I repeated myself, tried to remain calm and not push, although he was pushing like crazy.
Finally, I told him that although I couldn't offer any insight into Jackson's feed, I suggested they not start the 9pm feeding cycle again. If Jackson didn't want to eat, then don't keep offering him food all night.
Of course this frustrated Roger and he basically said that they'd feed him if he wanted to eat.
I told him that if Jackson thinks he can make it until the next feed why would he invest himself in this bottle?
Roger tells me, for the second time in a month,
"Samara, I don't believe Jackson 'thinks' about anything. He's smart but not that smart."
Norah reminds me to breathe.
I star again,
"Roger, you can choose what you'd like to do, I'm not telling you that you need to starve Jackson. But I think this is behavioral and feeding him again tonight will encourage him t repeat this routine tomorrow night."
"Samara, I doubt this is behavioral. You and I both know all those behavioral ideas are good in theory but when it comes down to it we need to follow our baby."
"We do follow the babies. When Tabitha needs to eat, we feed her. We adjust what we offer them, but I believe it IS behavioral because he doesn't do it during the day. You've given him the option to eat, now let him sleep."
"I know he doesn't do it during the day. That suggests we are doing something wrong..."

Okay, stop. This was where I reassured him, told him that didn't have to be the case and that it could be a habit they've all formed together. Parents have such a tough time, there is so much uncertaintity and doubt. It is not my job to add to this. I want to guide them and build their confidence. Parenting isn't easy and I never lie to my parents, but telling them they are the problem, true or not, when they are feeling terrible, out of control and like they are losing hope, Never helped anyone. I will continue to encourage them in the direction that I know works. they will continue to hear my perspective and choose. In this we will find a balance that best benefits these babies.

After all of this Jackson decided to sleep all night. Roger and Sara would have rested and started over today but Miss Tabitha decided 1am was playtime. She, Roger and Sara were up until 4am. I'm not sure what all of this is about but my gut tells me both Jackson and Tabitha are very smart and they are testing Roger and Sara. We'll see how this all plays out. Tonight I'm putting them to bed.

Today's Public Blog-o-vision

Yesterday was a rather perfect day, as far as days go. The tomatoes napped beautifully, ate ideally and playtime was relaxed but fun. We took a nice long walk and met this wonderful older lady who told me all about her two adult sons. One's a surgon and the other a lawyer. She raised them alone and was very proud to talk about them. The especially nice part was that although she knew I wasn't their mother, she asked, she asked about their mother, remarked on how beautiful the babies were and told me that it is important work I'm doing. It was very kind of her and I appreciated it.

Today has been a little choppier as far as naps go but with such awesome naps yesterday they likely have extra energy today. I'm glad the rain has stopped and we'll get another nice walk later this afternoon.

In other news, I can't stop thinking about getting pregnant. I'm dying to get started and be on that road. I love kids, parenting and Norah so much. We make a great team and I want us to have our family for Christmas. Maybe by next Thanksgiving.

Today's post is brought to you by the number 5, the letter B, for baby of course!

Hooray!!! Back at work!

I couldn't help myself, I had to dress them extra matchy-matchy today. Aren't they sweet? You can't see them, but they really are.

I'm back at work today! I'm so happy!

Last night I was dancing around singing, I'm go-ing to work to-morrow. I'm go-ing to work to-morrow.

It is a good day. It is sunny and crisp and beautiful. I'm so glad to be back to work.

The tomatoes are good. Their hands and feet have really grown. I hope that means they will be tall and not be held back because they were so premature. Starting life at less than two pounds each, you continually wonder how they will grow and develop. How long will they play catch up. I know that they should be caught up by three years old, but they missed and entire trimester in the womb. That is a lot to miss.

Of course, being back to work after missing five days, two were the weekend, comes with consequences. Jackson is having a tough time eating and feels thinner. Very worrisome. And Sara says Tabitha isn't napping for very long at once. I'm not sure if Sara thinks this is a good thing or not. I'm definitely a supporter of longer deeper sleeps over shorter, lighter ones. I'll keep you posted as the week progresses. Right now Jackson is having trouble turning over at the 45 minute mark, tired little tomato!

Worth a thousand words...

Since I'm not working, groan, I have a bit of free time on my hands. I've used this [opportunity] to add to my blog. While I can't go back and remember exactly what I was feeling on each day, I do have dated photos to remind me. As they say, a photo is worth a thousand words, too bad I can't post pictures. You'd definitely enjoy them, everyone does!

Home Again

Tomorrow I'm staying home - AGAIN! I'm so bored and ready to be back at work! They want to play it safe though and wait until Monday. Oh my goodness!! I miss those tomatoes! Basel is cute, see above, and I love Norah, but working is what I do! I'm busy. I'm efficient. I get more done in two hours than most people get done all day, when I'm at work. But when I'm at home, forget it! Tomorrow I will be productive, even though I'm not headed to work. I'll go and get my flu shot. No choice on this one. Pediatrician says we all have to have flu shots for the tomatoes' sake. I'm the last one. Sara doesn't believe in them either but she went first, then Norah, then Roger and tomorrow me. Yick.

Hope everyone else's weeks have been better than mine. Enjoy Friday.

Home sick today

Yep, today I'm at home, sleeping like I'm being paid for it. Oh wait, I AM being paid for it! The tough part of that is "what if I'm not sick?" I have some early sickness symptoms but nothing big and full-fledged. On the other hand, what if I am sick and I have to miss more work? As much as I love to sleep in, I hate missing work. Honestly. I get really bored at home and I seriously miss those babies!

Preemies make it extra tough on parents as far as sick/not sik caregivers go. They have to make the call, should we risk my tiny bit of symptoms so that the parents can go to work or should we play it safe so that we know the babies stay healthy. Add to that twins infants that most parents aren't sure they could actually handle for the entire day by themselves and you have a definite conundrum. My last family ALWAYS risked it. Unless I was really sick, I came to work so Clover could go to work. [Stephen wouldn't consider staying home, are you kidding?!] Today is the first time this has been an issue. I called this morning and after some debate, seriously, Sara decided I should stay home and rest. Maybe it's nothing but let's be safe. Sara's babies were also born six weeks earlier than my last twins and were on the cusp of life or death at birth because they were so, so early. That also mean that they are older now than Madison and Addison were for their first winter. This means they have better immune systems. And they are much more hearty too. Madison and Addison were always smaller and more tender little chickens.

Speaking of my hearty little tomatoess, I miss them. But I'm exhausted so I'm going back to bed!

Old & New

The end of September brought our farewells to visiting family. Grandmommie had been here for three weeks and as a means of saying goodbye and capturing the moment I set up our first real photoshoot. There are a few great shots, three generational photos, Tabitha photos and Jackson photos. Out of the batch the favorite is a photo of Jackson and Tabitha together. They are cuddled close and relaxed just being babies.

On Friday of last week, the very beginning of November, I thought we'd try to get another shot of the two of them with a similar feel. There are a few cute shots but nothing truly outstanding. I'd love to show you these two photos compared to one another but as I've had some bad press (read: UPDATE) I can't share with you our sweet tomatoes cuddled together. But take my word - they are adorable!

Activity on the baby front continues as usual. Tummy time is still a battle as is getting Jackson to eat. I'm not sure whether he's formed a negative habit, acting out to get the extra attention it always brings or just really frustrated. If indeed it were the last we'd want to do whatever possible to help him figure this out. Although it is hard to believe that he's having an actual problem when his issues are terrible with his parents and not so bad with me. It could be that my experience feeding babies gives me more confidence, persistance, patience or ways of feeding him that allow us to have more successful bottles thus increasing our likelihood of having having better feeds more often creating a pattern of success. But maybe not. I really can't give you the hard and fast answer, this isn't a precise science. It would be nice if is were though.

The only other news around here is that Tabitha needs the next size of diapers. She's leaking frequently and has gotten a very random rash. It is along the legs and waist holes of the back of her diaper area. Not anywhere in the middle but where the elastic is too close against her skin. So missy Tabitha will be moving up to size three diapers - a far cry from the teeny premie diaper she had falling off of her bottom in the NICU. Grow baby grow!

As far as our world goes I'd say life is plugging along quite well. We'll get past this feeding issue and come into something new, and it will continue, us moving from one thing to the next until I'm reporting new words, steps and more adorable personalities, at which point it will continue still!

This week

Jackson is still having lots of trouble eating for Roger and Sara. He took about half his normal amount each day, if not less. It is very defeating for them and I'm not sure how to make it better. He doesn't seem to be having the same issues with me. During the day he eats whatever I offer him, no problem. But in the mornings and evenings he eats 1/3 or less of his bottle for Roger and Sara. I suggested to Roger that maybe Jackson prefers the snuggle and being put to sleep that they do. Which looks like this; he eats enough to take the edge off then he fusses/refuses to eat, they snuggle him, sing to him, rock him, do whatever it takes to calm him, which ends in him asleep on them nearly every time, and then the bottle is over. If he fusses/cries a little while later they will start the process completely over which means instead of a 7pm bedtime he's been going to sleep in his bed around 9-9:30pm lately. When I suggested this to dad he looked me square in the eyes and said, "Samara, he's smart, but he isn't THAT smart."

Yeah. Okay.

Tabitha is doing wonderfully. Eating at mealtimes, burping at the end of her bottle, and sleeping, for the most part, during naptimes. She's getting more demanding though which I find exhausting. Roger and Sara say they want the kids to be patient yet never give them any opportunities to learn patience. They themselves aren't exactly models of patient-people.

This week EI is coming with a Gross Motor Consultant. I'm not expecting that to go very well. These tomatoes don't do much. We play on the floor during the week as much as we can but during the evenings, their biggest awake stretch, and weekends they don't do much playing on the floor. Tabitha would much rather be held. But we'll get there eventually. I hope.

Exhausting weekend.

Friday, the weekend and Me!

Thursday turned into an exhausting but awful day. Honestly. Tomatoes were exhausted and needed much more sleep than Roger and Sara said they should have. They ended up having the two one hour naps Mr. Pediatrician had suggested. Is he insane? They were basketcases. When Roger and Sara tried to do their nighttime routine, Jackson refused to eat. He finally took 50ml (almost two ounces) and promtly threw it all back up. Awhile later they convinced him to take 50-70 more and he kept that down. But all he realy wanted to do was sleep. They had an equally tough time feedimg him Friday morning.

On good Fridays Norah joins me at work. Oftentimes there are other more interesting things to do and she tries to get out of it, occasionally succeeding or compromising and only doing half the day. Because of Thursday she stayed all day Friday without the tiniest complaint. The reason I couldn't blog yesterday, are you ready fo this?

The day was awesome! Jackson caught up on his sleep. He ate wonderfully except one tough part of one feed. Tabitha slept, played and caught up a bit too. Norah and I grabbed lunch from this deli around the block. It was a really great day! I was so busy enjoying it that I didn't have time to blog! And we had a photoshoot. Photoshoots are always better when Norah can help. She has different ideas, perspective and her own set of hands. She's also completely willing to just do as I ask if I have something specific in mind. An opportunity to work with four hands?! Who wouldn't love that?

And today we are having a party in our tiny apartment. I'm very, very excited about it. We moved here over the summer and it is really, really small. This may sound awful but quite the contrary. I love it! There are only the two of us and Basel and it is perfect. We haven't really had many people over since we've been here, still settling, organizing, etc. So tonight is our big debut. I think the place looks good, the menu is perfect and now to decide what to wear...

Have a great weekend.

Expectations

This pediatrician thing has been stuck in my mind. I can't stop thinking about it. Norah can't understand why I'm so bothered by it, there are many people in positions of power with low expectations. Why do his low expectations bother me so much? And then it came to me, the reason it just gnaws at me. It was as if he said,

"Roger and Sara don't have a clue anyway. Why bother to teach them? You can't help everyone so do the minimum, expect nothing and you'll get by."

How can anyone that knows infants and children feel that way?! If caregivers, parents, grandmommies and pop-pops, aunties, uncles, friends, neighbors, nannies, etc, are willing to put in a little extra work followed by consistancy then the benefits are infinate.

The parent or caregiver of an exhausted child gets less alone time which means fewer opportunities to think, reflect and consider their children, actions and large number of possibilities.

The parent or caregiver of a picky eater spends more time worrying about food [how to get the child to eat, whether the child has eaten enough, what if they stop growing?] than about how to have fun, relax and try new things.

Children who get too little sleep get colds more often.
Children who don't get enough fruits and vegetables aren't as prepared to deal with illness as those who do.

The list goes on. So why, WHY would a pediatrician say it doesn't matter? Who cares? Why bother? It is very, very frustrating to me and it's nice to be able to vent about. I apologize for going on and on though.


On the schedule front, we're back to 'Roger and Sara's rule.' Jackson and Tabitha take a bottle before bed because they can't imagine putting them down without food, who cares about their teeth? Breathe Samara. In. Out. We'll change it later. No 5-6pm nap, they can make it, we're expecting too much of them, "they deserve it" is what Sara says.

I'm not sure how long I'm going to last at this job, with Roger and Sara being so inflexible. They are gone 5/7 of the week and want me to do things the lazy, no-forethought way. Which isn't the way that I work. If it's better for Jackson and Tabitha, even if it's harder now, then we should do it the best way.

As a follow up to this post, we're back to napping on blankets around the house. We're definitely having a transition period, but I'm excited about the product and think the benefits far outweigh the short-term re-learning curve.

Halloween 2007

What a long day.
Norah and I went trick or treating with our dog. It was great and relaxed and fun. After a bit of wandering through the busiest trick-or-treating area in downtown we decided to grab a bite, at our favorite pizza by the slice place. Like other nights before we leashed Basel to a parking meter and went inside, always keeping an eye on our spoiled puppy getting loads of love from passers-by. As we were relaxing into our second slices in trots Basel. No lie. He'd pulled free of his collar and thought he'd come in for a slice. The best part was, he walked right inside to us. We were tucked back in a corner because the place was so busy and he knew right where we were. As appaling as it was to have Basel in the pizza place we were both secretly proud and glad he'd came straight to us instead of wandering off in search of friendly folks with candy. When I took him back outside, sans pizza, to leash him back, there was his collar dangling from the leash, I can't imagine how sad I would of been had we come out and found that rather than having him come in and find us.

On the nanny front it was a very long and very exhausting day - in all of the best ways.
Roger, Sara and I took Jackson and Tabitha to visit the pediatrician. He said they looked great and then prattled on some crap low expectations, generalizations and complete lack of insight. He really annoyed me today and I disagreed with 90% of what he said. Aside from that, Tabitha is up to 13lbs4oz and she grew two inches! Jackson is up to 12lbs even. They both gained double what we'd like to see - way to go babies! He increased Jackson's z@nt@c because he has been having a tough time connecting to the bottle but not really spitting up. I don't know if he needs more medicine but we'll see how it goes.

The afternoon was even more exciting than the morning. While the tomatoes slept, Tabitha on Norah and Jackson, good boy, in his bed, Roger and Sara carved their first pumpkin!!! We'd been talking about it for days and I tried to prepare them for as much as I could, the shell is hard, the insides are goopy, it is fun, messy and an experience. You can do it.

It was excellent. Sara cut open the top.
"This is hard work."
Roger came in, saw the pumpkin was dirty.
"Can I wash it? Can I use the sponge?" (we had a very clean pumpkin!)
They scraped out the insides - saving the seeds for baking and eating later. Then worked together to choose a face. Sara wanted heart eyes, Roger thought that would be too tough, so he made circles. Sara wanted a trianlge nose, done. They wanted a smiley mouth with teeth, tough but excellent work. Their process and final product looked like a first experience and it was PERFECT! I'm very proud of them and impressed with the work they did. I took loads of pictures and but lost a huge chunk in the middle too. I was extremely disappointed, but as I'm the one who knocked my camera off the table I can only be annoyed with myself.

It was a great day, a wonderful Halloween and now I'm beat!
Hope tomorrow is quiet and boring. :)

Follow-Up, Routine Change

The Talk about the television issues I was having went about as I'd expected. I stated my perspective and frustrations, Roger said we'd never agree on this issue because they are an everything in moderation type family and my view on this is extreme, but that he does respect my opinion and Sara was the peacemaker, as she has been in the past.
" Samara we respect your view and will talk to eachother to see where we stand. If you have some websites or the reseearch you've mentioned I'd love to look at it. We haven't really researched this and what happened over the weekend was more of an experiment than a plan."

I'm hoping that we can find a balance that suits us both. As noted by yesterday's post I do not see any benefits to babies watching television. I think they miss out on other things and the parents use it as a default and miss excellent opportunities to use their imaginations to come up with suitable activities for the babies and themselves. They think that twenty minutes each week, which will become forty before two weeks have gone by, is fine. The main reason they think this is fine, both Roger and Sara said specifically, is because I'm here all week and I do such a great job with them that on the weekends they don't have to try so hard. Hmmm, and how does this make me feel?

Frustrated.

I understand this perspective and can see it's validity. But I'm here for a few years max, they will be with thier children FOREVER. And shouldn't the best quality time be spent as a family and not with their nanny?!

Unless something changes, I will try not to bring this up again. I'm not using this blog as an outlet for my frustrations but as an opportunity to share what I do. Most folks don't understand, respect or value nannies and I'd like to see that change. I've been doing this long enough to know what works and what doesn't and I feel I have a lot to offer. I work very hard and put 100% into my job. I also love my job and make a pretty good living considering that until Norah finishes her doctorate I'm the primary breadwinner.

UPDATE: Jackson and Tabitha haven't watched television since this event. Sara had no idea about all of the research and has told me it was more of an experiment than anything. We all joke about it from time to time, "it" being my extreme response. I think because I responded so seriously they stepped back and re-evaluated. I'm very happy with the outcome and the discussion made us into a stronger, better communicating team that trusts each other more.

All that aside, you may be wondering how scheduling and naps are going, at least I'd like to think that you are. Things are changing again. Jackson is having a really hard time eating. He screams at his bottle before starting to eat. I've noticed that this is worse when he is tired. Which makes sense, tolerance is lower when we are tired. They are both eating less at certain times and we've been having trouble with the last two bottle of the day running into each other. Roger and Sara have decided the third nap of the day is optional. They decided to skip it all weekend. I think that this is contributing the the sleep issues, both babies being overtired. Because one, a nanny, has to choose her battles, I'm letting this one go. I can't control what they do on the weekends and have other concerns surfacing.

If we drop one of the bottles we can make an actual dinner-bottle and drop the going to sleep bottle. This opens up the bedtime routine to actual together time. Right now it focuses on food. They don't need that and once they start getting teeth that would need to change anyway. Since they are five months that could start happening anytime. It is unlikely because they were three months early, but it is indeed possible. Changing the bottle schedule and bedtime routine opens a lot of doors and only closes the door to needing a bottle to go to sleep.

The bedtime routine looked like this last night;
6pm Samara leaves, playtime begins
bath, bottle, snuggles before bed at 7-ish, this is always variable because playtime, bathtime, feeding time, burping time, etc are all variable. Removing some of the parts of the equation should make this period more predictable.

In turn the wake up time would become more reliable. On an average day they wake between 6-7am to have a bottle then go back to bed. The later they go back down after this bottle the less likely they are to actually sleep, the more likely they are to start their day tired and short-tempered.

With the last bottle of the day happening before I leave, at the same time each evening, the morning bottle should follow in line behind. We'll see how this goes. If this works then the evening catnap is gone and morning predictably reigns.

I'll keep you posted!

Yesterday I photographed the babies bottles because there were so many and after I took two out the pattern surprised me. It was also the end of their little square containers. Now there are fewer bottles because we are now at four per day. Wish us luck!

Precious Time

During this weekend my little tomatoes were subjected to Baby Einstein.

Sara's justification to me, went like this,
"I said Roger don't tell Samara! ... I know that you don't think they should watch tv but it isn't like we let them watch four hours of television like some people. ... I think in moderation it is okay. Just twenty minutes a few times a week isn't a big deal. ... I watched it with them. ... " And so on.

If something needs that much of a confession followed by six justifying reasons from Sara and a few thrown in by Roger - do they really think it is okay?

I'm really, really upset about this. Babies have so much to learn, so many experiences to have while they are making those synaptic connections. Their rate of learning drops off significantly at six months, then stays steady until three years when it slows considerably. Why would you waste any of those precious moments on flashing pictures and good music simplified into annoying bits of noise?

People have to work, I can understand this. But your baby only has so many waking hours each week. If I'm spending the bulk of those hours with your children, shouldn't you cherish the 25 awake hours with them? Especially considering that during those 25 hours you subtract twelve for napping? That leaves 13 hours each week that these parents can spend with their TWO infants and they threw away half an hour on nothing? I'm shaping these kids five out of seven days and their input is sitting next to each other and not thinking? Setting up habits and patterns that could lead to speech delays, psychological disorders, sleep problems, irritability and obesity?!

What a waste.

I looked up some more info on the internet. If you are interested, it supports my views that watching television with babies is a waste of time, energy and brain power.
ADHD

Basics:
No child under age two should watch television at all, the Academy of American Pediatrics advised in 1998. Doctors blame TV for increasing aggression and obesity in children, now they add ADHD risk to early TV use.

Babies brains grow rapidly
Even a child playing with its own fingers has the neural patterning that comes from bending, flexing, stretching and grasping. Scientists tell us that the brain develops in completely unique ways between birth and three years. As a kiddie viddie baby sits "mesmerized", neural paths are not being created. This is crucial brain development that stops by age three.

Delayed Language skills.
The Seattle team surveyed more than 1000 families in February 2006 and found that — on parents' reports — infants between eight months and 16 months who regularly watched Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby videos knew substantially fewer words — six to eight out of 90 — than infants who did not watch them.

Less time spent interacting with others.
Researchers fear that excessive exposure to media among very young children may lead to problems of attention control, aggressive behavior and poor cognitive development.

Aggressiveness.
We know from studies of newborn rats that if you expose them to different levels of visual stimuli ... the architecture of the brain looks very different."

Watching TV can become a habit for your child. Help your child find other things to do with his time, such as the following:
• Playing
• Reading
• Activities with family, friends, or neighbors
• Learning a hobby, sport, instrument, or an art
The following people and places can provide you with more information about the proper role of TV in your child's life:
• Your pediatrician may have information about TV or can help you get it through the American Academy of
Pediatrics. Ask for the AAP brochure Understanding the Impact of Media on Children and Teens
• Public service groups publish newsletters that review programs and give tips on how to make TV a positive
experience for you and your child. Check with your pediatrician.


ADHD Link.
TV watching "rewires" an infant's brain... 
Even a child playing with its own fingers has the neural patterning that comes from bending, flexing, stretching and grasping.

ANGRY!!

I am so ANGRY!! Mondays can be tough, especially when it comes to transitions between parents and nannies with infants - toddlers and children as well. But what happened this weekend has just had me fuming all morning. I'll post as soon as I can get some cohearent thoughts together.

Lizard

There was a lizard in our kitchen sink when we came home last night. Norah freaked out and climbed up on a bar stool - should have taken her picture rather than the lizards - she's 5'9" and was petrified in such a girlie way! It was a teeny-tiny lizard and so scared! I think it must have came from one of the two plants she'd bought earlier in the day and put up over the sink.

Poor little lizard! I caught it in a vase and took it outside to a tree, across the street rather than the one nearby that Basel likes. I apologized to it, poor little lizard, it was a tree in the middle of downtown - not really getting back into the wild! At least it is back outside!

My "Aha!" moment

Yesterday afternoon I said forget it. I'm stressed. They're stressed and maybe a schedule isn't right for this family. I cannot explain to you how unlike me thing this is to say. I love a nice schedule. Routine suits me. And I get to lead on this front. But everyone - I man - EVERYONE was having a hard time. So who could it hurt to back off and relax a bit? I have to tell you, the fact that Sara argues/questions/discusses just like Norah could have a little to do with me doubting myself here.

Afternoon nap was spent mostly in my arms, in a sling, in the rocking chair with me holding 28.2lbs of baby - this being the combined weight of both babies. It was very relaxing and rest was had by all - including me. Afterwards I didn't push the evening nap, Sara insists they might not need this one and they never go down easy at this time in the evening. Of course as much as I've doubted the rest of the schedule I KNOW that they NEED this nap. But sometimes stepping back and letting go helps others to understand more. So, after a nice afternoon nap, I decided to skip the evening nap. They were playing happily on the floor until two minutes before Sara, along with Norah, came in. At this point Jackson was screaming because he wanted to be held but I was washing bottles. I'm short and not thin which makes it impossible to wash anything while wearing a baby in the sling, my arms just aren't long enough to reach around my belly, the baby and into the sink. Needless to say the rest of the evening they were exhausted and went to bed early. No one doubts they need the evening nap now.

Today I came in relaxed and ready to go with the flow. Sara left and babies continued to sleep. Five minutes before their bottle was due Jackson woke up. We chatted a bit, I changed him and started his bottle. Not far in Tabitha woke, same. After an hour of being awake Jackson looked tired so I put him down. Same happened with Tabitha. When Jackson woke a little early from his nap I took him in my arms and we rocked in the chair. He went back to sleep and I dozed. Much of the day looked like this, one hour awake and then sleepy. A nice long nap, Jackson needed extra snuggles to prolong his in the morning, Tabitha needed extra snuggles in the afternoon. Great, no problem - snuggles are nice for everyone.

Duing these two lovely, calm, slow snuggle periods I had time to think. Lots of time. And the more I thought about it the more I felt like I'd missed the forest because I was looking at a tree. I was so excited to have a schedule that even though 1:15hr seemed like a long awake time, it was what Sara wanted and what the book suggested. But it was too much for my tomatoes. They could do it the first day because they were rested from the weekend. But after that it was too much. That is why Tabitha was waking at 45minutes, she was overtired. I know this. I've seen this at least twelve times before, what was I thinking?! Waking up at forty-five minutes ALWAYS means over tired. I felt like I'd lost my marbles forgetting something so ingrained in me.

Now life is good. My tomatoes are sweet and well rested. Sara says Jackson is saying "boo" as of this evening. They are too cute. And now it is the weekend. I'm so freaking happy!!!

Growing stronger, lungs that is!

As the battle of the naps rages on I get through the days with email, photos, activity and as of this morning, books on cd. Today, for the Jackson and Tabitha, I've added a bit more playtime, just in case we weren't getting sleepy enough between naps. And the babies have added extra fussing during their early morning sleep period and now for the morning nap. Ahh the days of adult noises and sleeping babies have morphed into no adults, aside from myself, and determined, strong babies. My but how far they have come!

Update on Schedule, naps and life.

So much has happened since my last post. I wasn't slacking but working my bottom off. The babies' grandpoppie was ill so Roger flew to be with him while he was still lucid. He was away for a week and I worked late every night plus all day Saturday, so that Sara could make it through the week.

Roger made it home and settled in. Just about the time things were getting back to normal the call came that grandpoppie had passed. Now the debate, should Sara go with Roger for the funeral? Roger would stay a week but Sara could come home early. Debate, debate. can Noragh and I help, debate. Then reality struck. Sara didn't have her passport. She couldn't fly internationally and know she'd be allowed back home. Debate ended, Sara stays home.

Roger left on Saturday and thank heavens other grandpoppie calls and offers to help for the weekend. I'm off the hook! That was last weekend. It was my first break in two weeks and I really enjoyed it. No babies, no blogging, no diapers and the only naps I had to worry about were my own. It was lovely. There were kids though, the high schoolers from church put on their yearly pancake breakfast and Norah and I were the adults in charge. It went very well, we were all exhausted after three hours in the kitchen. But we plugged through and supervised Sunday School as well. It was a very long morning followed by a trip to the park for Basel. Ahhh the fall. Basel swam, he's getting better but still learning and still unbelievably funny every time, and we brought him homejust as exhausted as we were. We all went to bed, seperate beds, no furry Basel-butt on my pillow!, and slept for three hours! It was the best.

Of course during that lovely restful weekend I decided to give up coffee and caffiene. [Norah is pushing for this winter pregnancy really hard and I'm yeilding.] So Monday, what a day, I head to work caffiene-free and ready, oh boy, for an extra long day and the start of our new schedule! Oh joy!!

Side note,
Tabitha can now sleep through the night and is doing so regularly. Jackson has been doing this for weeks now. Both go to bed around 7pm and wake around 6am for a bottle. And they do this each night. Good news, wonderful. But about the time this became predictable, they started having issues with our daytime routine.
Now, side note within the side note;
coming home from the NICU both babies were on a three hour schedule. Of course that was thrown out the window as soon as they were home. Roger and Sara had been listening to NICU nurses for long enough and now they got to choose, or more precisely Jackson and Tabitha chose. They ate whenever they wanted and slept on who ever was closest. And this worked well because their [young] auntie was visiting for three weeks, I was there, both Roger, Sara and my Norah, not to mention visiting nurses, lactation consultants and when auntie left grandmommie arrived, also for three weeks. You try telling the grandmommie that lives a twelve hour flight away she can't rock them to sleep every-single-time. I will cheer for you. I made it through 2/3 of her visit before I had to step up. This is when we instituted the routine they had up until last week, about three weeks total. Eating every three hours, they can do it, they were doing it six weeks ago when they came home from the NIC, and sleeping by themselves within every three hour cycle. There was patting and soothing and touching and talking and it was a small step but a step nonetheless.

So, every three hours easily merged into a suggested daytime feeding schedule, spaced of course, three hours apart. Some days this was very tough for Tabitha. She likes the bottle to go to sleep. But I persisted, the routne prevailed and we were on our way. They started to become more aware and more social. No longer were they just sleeping when the opportunity arose. Then last week they missed a nap. They dozed while we were out but they were miserable later and took two days to get back to normal. [We'd been at Children's Hospital having some blood work done as a follow up from the NICU] We kept close to the schedule but stretched their awake times to see what they could handle, let them know there is time for socializing and seperate sleeptime from awake time.

We found that 1:15hr is about all they can handle. At an hour and a half they get overtired and have trouble going to sleep. We also found that for them this is total awake time - including the diaper/bottle/feeding/burping time. Since this last part takes 45 minutes max, 35-40 on average, we added 30 minutes awake time before each bottle because if they play after a bottle we're always worried about bringing the bottle back up.

Figuring out wht they need and getting them the sleep they need is crucial. 25 weeks is way too early to start a life. But they are thriving and I believe it is because they sleep. Children and babies release growth hormones during deep sleep, if they never get into that deep sleep or only get their irregularly they will never reach their potential. Starting life so early we need to give them every opprtunity possible to reach their potential. We've also seen that being tired affects the way Jackson eats. He has reflux and when he doesn't get enough sleep he spits up more, both in frequency and volume. He also has a really hard time connecting to the bottle when he's overtired, his latch is off, he can't get started and he gets really, really frustrated.

Taking what we found into account we looked to Sara's favorite sleep book, Healthy Sleep Habitsetc. He suggested, for a 4-6 months old baby, bed between 6-7pm, check, early wake up [with or without bottle, ours is with] around 5-6am, check, wake up around 7am, um no, nap #1 at 9am, nap #2 at 1pm and nap #3 at some point in the evening. Of course we modified this to fit our needs, more specifically the babies needs. 7am wake up is too early for them. They get up around 8:45am, bottle at 9:15am, nap #1 at 10am. Good. Wake up 12:45pm, bottle 1:15pm, nap at 2pm, okay. Wwake up at 4pm, bottle 4:30pm, nap #3 at 5:15pm. Tough but we can do it. Finally, wake up at 6pm, bottle by 7pm and bed.

Monday, without any caffiene, we embarked on our schedule-changing journey. I am pleased to report - it was perfect! I told Sara the plan, she liked it and agreed, then headed off to work. We had a tough first feed and were 15 minutes off all day, but that is AWESOME!! Tuesday I headed in bright and early and mom headed off to work [this is a new thing, she's been home with me on maternity leave until this week] morning went well and then during nap #2 Tabitha exploded! She refused. She was mad and not having it. 45 minutes and she was toast. No sleep. No. I'm not doing it she said in babyspeak - waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! [only much, much louder] Of course I finally get her to stop and BOOM!! Jackson has to put his thoughts in. I give in, I have a caffiene headache and I can't take anymore crying, we're only 30 minutes early at this point so we just go for a walk. Today, same deal. 45 minutes and she's done, mad, telling the world. Of course I know, ten years of doing this has taught me, if I keep giving in, it will keep happening. So I wait. And wait. And wait. She settles down and is quietly going to sleep. Of course this is the point at which the housekeepers show up [4hrs late and right at 45 minutes] to clean, vacuum and mainly, be really, really noisey. So cry, cry, cry. Calm, snooze, cry. And so it went, but today Jackson didn't sleep through it, he joined her. And as a baby chorus sang on and on I held strong - much to the housekeepers chagrin. You know this means that today I didn't have a headache. We'll see what tomorrow brings. Today was better then yesterday and tomorrow will be better than today, I can only hope. I'm also going to try tweaking the schedule just a little even though it worked o well on Monday. Maybe the morning nap is so refreshing after that nice long overnight sleep that Tabitha isn't getting sleepy enough in between the two naps. Jackson definitely likes this schedule and only cried out of frustration today because his sister was keeping him up.

In other news, today Jackson and Tabitha are five months old!! Technically they are more like two month olds but literally they have been here for five months. Very exciting. They are getting big and are unbelievably social. Today I saw the beginnings of their sennses of humor. Completely different from each other, of course. It is very exciting to see them changing and growing each day. Jackson's nose is changing and Tabitha's forehead is changing. They are both getting stronger, eating faster and making new sounds. Jackson tries to say hi, not really but it sounds lie he does. Tabitha can mimic almost any face you throw at her, tongue out, curled tongue, crinkled nose, she's a pro!

All in all life is pretty good right now. I'm exhausted and I know that once the caffiene headaches are completely gone I'll dip into a low. Norah and I have each given up caffiene before and seen it happen, it sucks, but if I am to get pregnant at the beginning of December then it's better now then later. And I can do it! I'm also losing weight. The idea was that I'd work really hard to look good for our ten year reunion in April, just before I turn 30, but now that's out of the window if I'm pregnant, right? I'll be just as chubby as I am now. Oh well, I'll keep working on it, I'm doing pretty well and I feel good so either way it is good for me.

Sorry for all the detail but I thought having it written down might help me later or someone else, having twins can be challenging but the benefits far outweigh the extra work at times. Two babies, together to share the good, the bad and the naps - it's all worth it!