Short Week. Busy Week.

With Thanksgiving days away I have a lot going on. Lucky for me, my work responds with kindness and flexibility. I can do as much or as little as I choose, or make time for.

Generally I'm switched onto hyperdrive. I keep Ivy stimulated, her parents feeling taken care of, life running smoothly and initiative flowing. Recently I've been creating an extensive booklist and menu for our upcoming days together. But this week, this week I'm moving slow.

Our Thanksgiving dinner will be at our house. We'll be nine total and I'll do the cooking. Our family and guests are bringing pie, bread, salad and one family favorite. Everything else falls onto me. I'm up to the challenge but it takes a lot of planning and organization. Earlier this week I created my menu, grocery list and organized my recipes. Today I'm going to shop, with Ivy, and tomorrow I'll cook, also with Ivy. Of course everyday life must continue on as well. Ivy still needs her naps, opportunities for tummy time and encouragement to sit. Not to mention meals, reading time and fresh air - which go without saying, right?

Alright - back to work!

Isn't she doing great?!

Ivy Days.

Ivy days are good days. I enjoy going to work and I enjoy her company. She's an easy-going, low-reactive, adorable baby girl. Ivy is an only child and her parents are the kindest, most thoughtful parents I've ever worked for. Well, except that dear mama in San Francisco. She ties with them.

Most days consist of three naps. These naps used to go, long, short, short. But over the past week or so we've moved up to two longish crib naps, 1.5-2.5 hours [often with a break in-between but only self-soothing], and one short nap that we share, her in the sling, me in the rocking chair, each evening just before Helena returns from work. This last nap allows Ivy to stay up until nine or 9:15 and get some quality time with Mitchell after he returns from work.

So far it's working well for everyone though I'd love to see Ivy get to bed a tad earlier and move toward giving up that sling nap, despite how much I enjoy it, I'd love for her to have a longer, deeper night sleep.

Current Position

The job-search process was brutal. I've never really had much trouble finding a position I felt I'd enjoy. But I doubt my standards have ever been so high. My last position was great for my resume and great for exploring new perspectives, but it was tough on me. Tougher than I was willing to realize for a long time.

Over the course of four months I talked with at least fifty families. I interviewed with about twenty, did trial days with two, was offered three and knew this one was for me.

Interviews are an intense thing for me, I know, so out of character. A quick interview, post phone interview, lasts about an hour and a half. Most take about two hours. Two families back, when I met with Clover, I stayed for three hours. No interview had come close. Then I met with Mitchell and Helena.

Initially we talked on the phone, post agency interview, and my being weeded out of fifty candidates. This specific agency requires video interviews as part of the application packet sent to families. It was my video that earned me the initial phone interview which led to the video interview and finally an in-person meeting.

We talked, the three of us, for about an hour and a half, then Mitchell had to get to work. Helena and I continued to chat for 3.5 hours longer! I was having such a great time, but we were half an hour from my house and my mother-in-law was due to arrive in an hour. I said my goodbyes - to Helena and her offspring - then headed home with the understanding they LOVED me and would call with an offer. The next day they called and the following Monday, two days later, I started working.

While I interviewed with a triplet family, 25-week-twin-family, twin families, sibling par families and everything in-between I ended up with a singleton. One, sweet, ten week old little girl. She was adorable-darling, the sweetest little thing. Just perfect. Ivy. Dear little Ivy. No health concerns, no issues, no reflux, no worries other than regular childhood concerns that every kid-parent-nanny trio deals with.

Honestly, I was kind of worried I'd be bored. Really bored. Mind-numbingly bored. But that's not really me is it? I don't really do bored. I do busy. I do productive. I do accomplished.

So what do Ivy and I do? We read. We work on tummy time and other gross motor skills. We sing. We get the [baby]laundry done. And [baby]ironing. And [baby] returns. And swim lessons. And grocery shopping. And when I feel like it I cook. When I don't, I don't.

It's really, really wonderful.

Lil' Ivy.

We've been together three months now.

Back to Potential.

You may be wondering what brought me back. There are quite a few reasons actually, but the biggest is that I'm happy in my work. I am. I made the best of my last position but I wasn't happy and I think that came across in my writing.

This new position may be the best I've ever had. I am so pleased with every aspect. There is so much good, so much pleasantness and infinite potential. Potential that's what always gets me high. Ahhh potential.

My newest bit of potential is food. Making babyfood. We're entering a whole new phase. I'm researching recipes and nutrition like it's the first time again. It always feels like the first time because each family is special. Each is unique and each has it own set of potential.

Right now I'm reading two books and making charts. When I have something substantial, I'll share. For now it's just the titles, Easy Gourmet Baby Food and Blender Baby Food. Remember I've just started and may not love these books, but so far so good.

Both start at six months - I love that, no need to rush things. Children will be eating for the rest of their lives! What I like about Easy Gourmet Baby Food is it actually has some new recipe ideas. Examples;
- Grilled chicken and Avocado
- Cauliflower and Chickpea Chowder
- Honeydew, Blueberry and Mint Puree
- Nectarine and Carrot Puree
I haven't tried any, but these are refreshing ideas! Each recipe also has a nutrition table, calories, protein, fat, sat fat, carbs, fiber, sodium, calcium, iron and vitamin c are all listed. I think the only thing I'd add is vitamin d content as that is a concern these days.

The other book, Blender Baby Food, is from Canada and I thought it would also have some new ideas. so far I see it's pretty similar to US books with fear and worry but I do like the charts. Examples of charts;
- what foods when
- how much fiber [calcium, vit c, iron, fat] at what age
And each recipe has nutrient info; calories, carbs, fiber, fat, protein and iron.

So far we're only drinking formula and breastmilk but as we move forward I'll keep you posted and share the bits that I find helpful.

I'm back!

This blog has been abandon for three hundred and fifty-five days. My last position, an experience as much as it was, became really tough. Or started tough. Or possibly, if I'm honest with myself, was always tough. Blogging about it gained me a lot of negative feedback and frustration so I stopped. But, for some reason, I couldn't delete this blog. There aren't enough nanny blogs out there. This entire profession has the quietest, faintest little voice.

I love what I do. I love working with families. I love spending my days helping children. I love parenting; as an idea, a theory, a concept and a practice. I am not a parent. I do spend my days child-rearing. I take walks, make bottles, do laundry, create weekly menus, plans and outings. I grocery shop and make T@rget trips. And I love it. Every minute of it. I. Love. It.

To wrap things up before I move forward I need to tie up a couple of loose ends.

First, the names on this blog are ALL fictitious. Not one real name has ever been used. At one point I did refer to the children via nicknames and their parents as "mom" and "dad" and this really bothered people. Somehow using these general terms felt personal to other "moms" and other "dads". As soon as I switched the terms I used I was accused of changing complete posts - a fun idea but not really my style. Doing this would have taken an eternity [of effort time and thought-process] whereas search&edit, a quick way to replace single words in a document takes minutes. Going forward know that each family's identity has been preserved and is special to me.

Second, I'm with a new family. This is a long story that I will share now.
My last family took an overseas trip in the Spring, right around my birthday actually. During their trip Norah and I took the opportunity to visit Europe for the first time. [the family was also in Europe but we were hours apart] We had a great trip. They had a great trip. But within that first week back I was informed that they'd be starting their children in daycare come summertime.

Okay, take a breath. This is my opinion and I realize every situation isn't the same.

I don't believe that daycare has more to offer than one-on-one personal care, i.e. a nanny. To some this may seem like self preservation and I can honestly understand why you'd believe that. But because I hate biases, especially in myself, I've tried to look at this issue from different perspectives. I've tried to imagine how I'd feel as a parent. And I've researched the topic.

First off I have to tell you, some families have no other choice. Nothing wrong with that. But if you can afford Peps! would you choose to buy S@st@ brand soda? Life has trade offs and individuals choose where to compromise, spend less on housing to afford more electronics, spend less on entertainment to afford organic produce, spend less on one car so you can have two, and so on. And I'm okay with that. If a family chooses daycare because it fits their budget better that is great. But daycare isn't the better choice. Daycare isn't worth paying MORE for.

Okay, I sat down with the family, [what were their names?], Jackson and Tabitha's parents, and told them I'd like to talk about their decision to switch to daycare. We planned a time and only Jackson & Tabitha's mother sat down with me. She listened to my perspective, I presented the hows and whys, including research [which is incredibly hard to find!] and we left it at that. She took almost two weeks and we sat down again. She told me that ALL of her friends kids were in daycare at two years old. [EXACTLY why the last family choose daycare at two.] She also told me that she had feelings for both, daycare would cost more, be more work for them and keep the kids fewer hours each day, but her gut feeling was that it was the right choice. And that was it.

I told her that it was their decision and I'd help them transition to the best of my ability. We made lists of school supplies, backpacks, lunchboxes, etc. I created meal plans to ensure the kids were able to get enough protein, the daycare didn't allow meat or nuts, two huge sources of protein for Jackson and Tabitha. We talked about quick dinners that would be easy to prepare after picking them up from daycare. And I started talking to Jackson and Tabitha about it. We read stacks of books from the library, tried out their backpacks, talked about how I wouldn't be there but that I'd always love them. And we started singing the ABC song. They loved that part.

Then, before I knew it, we were into transition week. They did great. The daycare workers said that Jackson and Tabitha were amazing [exactly what had been said about the previous set of twins when they started daycare]. They went on and on about how you'd never know this was their first organized daycare experience. They were good listeners, talkative, active and social. [Because kids with nannies are antisocial?!]

And that was it. I said goodbye on a Friday in June. I registered with some agencies and took a temporary position for the month of July. The family, great friends of Jackson and Tabitha's parents, had two daughters, one too young for daycare, the other, same age as Jackson and Tabitha, in daycare since twelve weeks old.

July sped past and included a week long visit to the southern United States with five teenagers from church. You'd think taking five teenagers, all sixteen and over, on a flight and week long experience away wouldn't be very tough. But they were someone else's children, just like my work. It was a lot of responsibility and Norah and I worked very hard. They were amazing and we had a great time but it was very much work.

August came and I still didn't have anything lined up. I worked an extra week with the temporary job and went to more interviews. I worked with two agencies primarily and continued to search on my own, meet with friends of friends and put my name out there.

Finally, I met my current family.
And that my friends is a story for another post.

Frustrating Ideas

Four days off work leaves plenty of time for surfing the web, relaxing at home and loads and loads of time to think, contemplate and assess my beliefs. This morning I've found focus and fuel for my thinking. A blogpost from a blog that my wife reads really caught my attention.

I'm sure you can guess the topic of conversation. One of my favorites, sleep. And there's not much surprise coming here - I completely disagree with the woman. She talks of the dangers of Ferber and sleep training because children are only children once. But I think that she's missing the point.

In an ideal situation no one would ever need to ferberize their kids. But using a cry-it-out method is the fastest and easiest way to correct negative habits that have been formed.

We've had one child in the past decade who slept perfectly and grew faster than a weed. She was massive and happy and unbelievably healthy. The day her mother returned from the hospital she handed her over and said, "I'm [40] too old for this." And that was it. The work day went from ten hours to twenty-two during that interaction. The two hours off were from 7am until 9am to sleep uninterrupted. But you know what? Feisty little Eleanor made known what she needed. Each little cue was met and responded to from day one. Around six weeks old her schedule seemed to take form and by three months old Eleanor was sleeping regularly, eating like a pack of wild mustangs and her growth was off the charts. She was happy, sociable and healthy. She slept all night long her her own bed every night and twice each day. She never cried it out one minute that entire time.

Now I hear the skeptics out there. I can quote them,
"Temperaments are different."
"Children are different."
"She was a unique case."

And my response?
THAT'S TRUE.
Temperaments ARE different.
Children ARE different.
Eleanor IS unique.

But you know what? There are consistencies across the differences. That is why a person who is good with children is generally good with EVERY child they meet. Despite their differences. Because along with differences come similarities. These same ideas work with potty-learning as well.

That's what I have today. Now back to work. I need to get things done!

Thanksgiving Eve.

Wow, I haven't posted here since July. That was such a long time ago. And the issues with my work environment feel like a lifetime ago. Things are great! I have so much to be thankful for here on Thanksgiving Eve.

Work is wonderful. The tomatoes are amazing. As I read through some of the posts just before the last I saw the post about Tabitha taking her first steps. That seems like decades ago. Now she runs. She jumps. She climbs everything - she can nearly climb into her crib by herself - she's just so much deeper than she was in July. 

And Jackson, well, he took much, much longer to begin walking. He discovered, just after Tabitha perfected her walking, that traveling on his knees in an upright position was just as good as walking. At least he thought so. He didn't want to stop. EI would come without suggestions. It was terribly exhausting and hard. Going to the playground meant he was stationary or covered in woodchips. I was worried about winter and taking him out in the snow. Then, with quite a bit of encouragement and persistence on my part, he started walking. Just a little at first. Like Tabitha he tripped easily and needed to be helped up often. But now, you'd never guess. The boy jumps like a madman. He 's light on his feet and loves to dance. He's started running. 

But this is all recap. The big news that I have for you, probably one of the main reasons that things are going so well, is that both tomatoes talk like crazy! The chatter like little monkeys incessantly. And they have at least fifty words - in TWO languages! 

They play games with each other. They've stopped biting. THANK YOU GOD! They still fight over toys and books (I can't tell you how many times each day I remind them to share) but they love each other! It is awesome. They play pretend. Pretending with objects and without. We color with crayons and have taken two classes. Next week we'll start our third. 

Oh! And we only take one nap now! Only.ONE.Nap.!. It was a tough transition, but two naps were more stress than they were worth. The quantity of sleep they get each day decreased significantly, something I was not pleased with at all, but overall it's been good. 

I'm so happy! They are so adorable! And there's so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving out there blogosphere.

"wait and see"

After a bit of talking I'm headed down the road of "wait and see" with my voice having been heard. Putting the blog back up as I give things a good go.

Last Post

After 226 posts I'm making this blog private as I think my stay here will be short. Currently things aren't going very well here and if I'm not here there is no reason to continue this blog. 

Thank you for your readership. All of your comments and continued visits have given a confidence in my writing completely new to me. Thank You.

Headed down the short road?

There has been a flurry of activity here lately. Visitors, activities and changes have invaded our calm little preemie world - that rarely feels preemie anymore. 

Tabitha can walk, she's taken loads of steps, cruises between people and furniture but for the most part continues to use crawling as her default. 

Jackson can't see what all the fuss is about and is mastering standing. He's still a bit smaller than Tabitha and such a compact little grape tomato. 

On the downside both tomatoes are fully established screamers. I take no credit for this whatsoever. Roger and Sara are the encourages, rewarders and purveyors of all things scream. Never have any of my kids (or babies) been screamers, ever. It is one of my least favorite things only beaten by biters.

Oh, have I mentioned? Jackson is a biter! Oh yes! Thanks to Roger, not me, not Sara, Roger is fully responsible for this wonderful new side of Jackson - Jacko the Biter. Of course poor Tabitha gets the worst of it because she doesn't even see it coming. Roger lets him do it so when Roger isn't around Tabitha has become his object of choice.

But you know how these things go, they come in threes. Double screaming and extreme biting are being followed by sibling aggression - which is gaining popularity quickly! By the end of the month this may become our favorite activity, punctuated with screams and biting of course as they never go out of fashion.

I can't say whether my job here is headed down a very short road, because I am a person who enjoys a good challenge. But I must be honest, the thought has crossed my mind more than a few times. One of the parents is going through a midlife crisis. They've quit their job and spend their days in and out, shopping and questioning every. little. thing. that. goes. on. To say it is exhausting would be an understatement. Having worked with so many families before this and only having biters in families with upheaval and inconsistency, once either Norah or I had left, I know that the road biting takes is a long and painful one. And the screaming. GOODNESS but the screaming. Roger and Sara encourage it. It annoys them and they encourage it, whether intentionally or not they know they are doing it. Yet it continues. 

The best part though?

These kids are SO smart. They get it. When Roger and Sara are out, when it's just me and them - they don't scream, they don't bite and we don't have trouble. But those times are becoming fewer and farther between. I'm a patient person but there is only so much one can take. There's only so much one should take. I may be reaching the end. I'm going to give it my best, but my time for parenting the parents was in the beginning, I shouldn't be expelling more energy on them then the kids at this point.

Stepping out with my baby . . .

Oh My Goodness! Oh My Goodness! Oh My Goodness!

This not blogging thing is just happening, it's completely unplanned, but I've got news that just HAD to be blogged this evening. (part of the trouble is I only blog at work and not during my free times in the evening)

Tabitha took her first steps!!!!!

Tabitha took her 1ST STEPS!!!

This evening, after a very full day, a long afternoon nap and some lone playtime with her brother, I invited Tabitha to walk between Norah and me. It was AWESOME! She only took three steps, right. left. right. at once, total, but she did it. I was thrilled.

Of course, I was SO thrilled that she began to prefer only me and stopped walking to Norah or even Sara once she joined us. I'd put her in front of the other person but she only wanted to walk to me. It was kinda nice to be the favorite for a minute as I make, enforce and get the most flack for setting limits and following through.

It was beautiful. Truly thrilling and wonderful. Both Tomatoes are thirteen months this week. Could you believe that twenty-five weekers could be SO average?!

Obviously they aren't average in any way. It is extraordinary that they can compete with their full term peers and keep up with the norms. I'm really very proud and impressed with them. EI has even said they no longer need services and when their evaluation comes up, a year from beginning services, they will no longer qualify!

Poor, forgotten blog.

It's true, as the days get longer and the Tomatoes become more and more mobile, I think less and less of blogging their trials and tribulations. It's actually pretty silly to stop blogging at this point as they are growing and changing at breakneck speeds and I can hardly remember everything they've done.

They are talking. Not sentences or infinite understandable words, but both are communicating. "More" is one of their best words. Although, in true twin fashion, they say it as differently as possible. Tabitha does the baby sign for more and Jackson says "mo" "mo". Both are absolutely adorable. They make eye contact before and after and then get this look of complete and total pride. It's perfect. Unless you knew, you'd never guess that they were born at 25 weeks. They are truly amazing.

As of last week Tabitha is cruising. Between furniture, along furniture, it is a very exciting development.

Jackson is pulling up with fury. He can do it as often as Tabitha and he gets down in the normal way, by bending his knees. Tabitha is still plopping down onto her bottom. She's gotten her technique down and rarely falls over onto her head, unless she lands on top of something and falls just so. This only happens once out of a hundred or so plops. I imagine she'll get tired of this method at some point, but I could be wrong. Luckily Jackson tried her way and much prefers the way we've shown and encouraged. We can only hope he sticks with it.

I'm working on a video of the tomatoes. It's been a long time since pictures of any sort were on this blog and I'd like to slowly change that. This video, once finished, will be the first step.

Happy Father's Day to all the daddies, granddaddies and baba-daddies out there.

Making time to blog . . .

Taking time to sit still and blog is getting harder and harder. While there are plenty of opportunities during each day to sit still, I rarely feel like using them for blogging unless I am annoyed and need an outlet to vent. That must make this blog really boring to read, although that doesn't seem to matter as most of my readers have disappeared anyway. Not that I mind much, it takes my self-inflicted pressure off, kinda.

With such mobile tomatoes I want to keep moving too. Or I just want to watch them. Watch Tabitha stand up. See Jackson crawl. I love the movements that are starting to look like dancing and the way crawling comes naturally and looks more like ballet than work.

Teeny-tiny bell flowers throughout this tree.

Lint.

Little Lily of the Valley

Full Bloom

The Public Garden is one of my favorite places in all of Boston. I especially love the tulips that bloom bright and beautiful around my birthday each year. 

Boston's Beautiful Public Garden

Duckling Day

Unique and Special.