Saturday with two, two and two!

Norah and I spent Saturday morning with three two year olds, it was AWESOME!! Madison and Addison arrived first. Having seen them last at their birthday party in September (!) they looked completely different. Their faces are such big kid faces. They are still teeny, tiny little tots, I don't use that word lightly, tiny-tots, with more individuality than I could have imagined. Each has their identity and plays into it as much as possible. It was cute, frustrating and at times just plain surprising. While Addison had no trouble bidding Clover and Stephen farewell Madison was a bit more hesitant and clingy. Once they were gone she was perfectly fine with Norah but seemed aloof and downright annoyed with me. Norah suggested that Madison trouble might be frustration with me for leaving her. Quite likely because the girl undoubtedly knew who I was and after a bit was all about me. Which worked well for walking to the pizza parlor as Addison has always had a bit of a crush on Norah and this day was no different. Norah had actually been Cameron's nanny for his first two years, so no question who's hand he wanted to hold, those weekly get-togethers of ours pale in comparison to his love for Norah!

Cameron's mom, Vanessa, is always running late. By the time he was dropped of we only had time to walk over to the pizza parlor before our little children would turn into pumpkins because of naptime.

As luck would have it, the rain held off for our three block walk. All three kiddos were agreeable and chatty. We had a lovely, silly, relaxed and fun lunch. It was a perfect rainy-Spring-weekend-morning. Our walk back was a wet one, rain can only hold off so long, but none of us minded. Clover took Madison and Addison home for their naps and we took Cameron back to our house. He napped in our bed while we dozed on the sofa.

Later I shared photos with Clover, hmm, forgot Vanessa, I'll have to get on that, and received this email from her;

they seemed to have a very good time. they told me, "i had a good time." and "i drank brown milk." and "i ate pizza and salad." and "i just ate pizza." and "i play with letters." and "we don't put it in our mouth." next time hopefully the weather is much nicer!!

Normally we don't give them chocolate milk i.e. "brown milk" but Norah thought they could have a taste for fun. Of course Madison refused to try it, she was appalled that we'd do something so terrible to her milk. Cameron has already had it because Vanessa thinks chocolate is one of the basic food groups, he loves it and kept trying to drink everybody else's! Although, Madison not wanting to try it really bothered him and he wasn't sure he wanted it after she refused it. Of course, being two, he got over that pretty quickly! Addison will eat anything once so he tried it and wished there was more. Of course they ate salad, pizza and regular milk before this brown milk even entered the scene. What a great day! I'm looking forward to seeing them all again soon. Such little cutiepies!

These Growing Tomatoes

Coming around on three weeks I think we may have finally established a regular nap routine. Maybe.

Both tomatoes had established habits of napping 45 minutes and then shouting to the world that they were all set. Knowing them, and babies, as I do, I was pretty sure they were mistaken. Of course getting Roger and Sara on the same page took a bit of discussion.

Working with parents, children and babies leads to theories, ideas and insights that aren't as obvious when your doing things with your first or second child. Maybe if you are Michelle Duggar, mom of seventeen children, you can ay that you have your own theories, ideas and insights that are proven. And I'd be extremely interested in getting any tips, ideas or suggestions. I'm not averse to learning, or trying new things, when there's a chance they come from a tried and tested source.

Back to the napping topic. With a little compromising Roger, Sara and I found a balance between what I thought was best and what they thought they'd be able to do, and agree with. Every morning they go down at the same time and get up at the same time. We have regular meal times, three solid meals per day now!, and an afternoon nap that begins and ends at the same time each day. If they are tired or their naps have been choppy or short they have an optional third nap which, despite what time they fall asleep, must be done with by 5:15 pm. Then we have dinner and as we finish Roger and Sara return from work.

It's taken awhile for everyone to get used to. In the last two days both Jackson and Tabitha have slept more than forty-five minutes during both nap opportunities. It feels good to think we might be on a good road. Of course, everything could change tomorrow, but with two great days under our belt I thought I could share where we are and enjoy being here, if only for today.

Other news . . .

Jackson had his follow up with the urologist. The hole that his pee comes from is still smaller than the doctor would like to see. We should put vasel!ne on it a few times each day and remember to pull his skin back regularly. Luckily Jackson doesn't mind either thing at all.

Tabitha seems to have developed a cold. Her nose is runny and drippy. So far only clear snot, nothing green and for that we are grateful. I've heard of the flu going around as well as some stronger stuff. Of course we want to keep Jackson and Tabitha as far from these germs as we can, but were they to contract something more severe I think they'd come out of it pretty well.

I know this is hard for other preemie moms to hear, but these babies are doing well. I think they are the exception to the rule. Sara jokes daily that Tabitha has forgotten she was a preemie. And yes, Sara says "was a preemie". Tabitha is in the 50th percentile for her a.c.t.u.a.l a.g.e ! She was born at twenty-five weeks gestation, that's unheard of! She's big, she's beefy and she's jolly. Our Tabitha is one amazing baby. Jackson is smaller but still within the realm of normal. His weight gain is slower, although he's been gaining at the same rate these last two months, and was slower because of his reflux. Obviously if you can't keep it in you can't get as many nutrients, calories and fat as someone who does keep it in. He'd also eat smaller amounts because of his reflux. Being smaller and more social this smaller volume doubled itself when Roger and sara were involved. A pattern of not eating became their norm. Luckily, as he has grown, Jackson has realized that he doesn't mind eating and will get just as much love and affection whether he eats or not. He still eats less for his parents but only mildly so and keeps a pretty consistent daily intake amount.

Life is good here and I'm looking forward to the change of seasons, upcoming holidays and life with these growing tomatoes.

Round here . . .

Physical Therapy and us.

We've been working on our physical therapy. My goal is three times per day - per baby. I did this three days out of five last week. This week I'm having a good day if we can get in once per day - per baby. But, as luck would have it, all of our work last week was good. Tabitha can now raise herself into the all fours position, before this wasn't possible. She could get onto elbows and knees but not support her weight on her hands. Not only can she support herself up there - but she can put herself into that position!

Jackson can hold himself in the transitional position once you get him into it.

Both tomatoes can rock back and forth when on their hands and knees.

Jackson regularly moves himself backwards, kind of a reverse commando-crawl, and has explored quite a bit of the house.

Most exciting, as far as development goes, we've passed our nine month milestone!!! Yes it's true - the Tomatoes are nine months old!!! Soon we'll have our last RSV shots, two each!, and be ready for a brand new phase, I just can't wait!

Just a picture . . .

Almost-not-quite-Spring

Things are progressing along today. Headed out earlier, enjoyed this closer-to-Spring weather. I can't wait until it's actually Spring and the days move past rain to warmer and sunny. Jackets or sweaters and maybe scull caps, how cute will we be?! Today I exposed their hands and shoes for little bit. Not much though as it was pretty chilly. We even wore skull caps under our snowsuits, it was a real treat!

After today I'm hoping to mix up the blogging. Maybe aim for twice each week instead of 5/wk. Then I won't have to just drop off once it gets warmer out. Possibly Tuesdays/Thursdays as I don't do laundry those days and should have a little more flexibility.

visitors

Blurred with little focus as I imagine the tomatoes remember our recent visitors.

Update on Tomatoes

With one week behind us and two more until we see our PT and EI person again - we're doing great with the physical therapy! We've added it to our daily charts/logs attempting to remind me, my suggestion, that I should work on it with them multiple times each day rather than multiple times each week. Seems silly and pretty straight-forward but making time to sit still and do a few simple exercises - with-each-baby - takes planning on top of everything else.

There hasn't been much time to blog this week for a few reasons;
1) I'm completely over winter and spend every free moment wishing for Spring. Blogging about what's going on now just reinforces where we are now - getting more snow and wearing heavy winter coats, still.

2) Despite our debates about going outside this winter, I have respected Roger's fear of them getting too cold, despite how silly I think it is, and have kept our outings to a minimum. Meaning we've gone on walks two or three times each month - this in itself has added to my frustration with winter and cold weather. Now that Spring is approaching, however slowly, I'm making a point to get them outside every day. We've been outside more this week than most of the winter! Adding that time into our days, on top of physical therapy three times per day, has removed a lot of my computer time.

3) Our new schedule, as agreed on by Roger, Sara and me, has been tough. there has been more waiting, planning and fussing than most people can take. It is exhausting. Terribly, terribly exhausting. But after an extremely dry spell we've hit on a few good naps and I think we're only at the tip of the iceberg. Aside from the patience necessary to get through this time, I've been trying to be more precise. Instead of getting them up (or putting them down) with 30 minutes leeway, I've been setting the timer and sticking to it. The consistency is helping their bodies adjust and giving us some more regularity.

4) The main reason that I haven't had time to blog is that I've been making myself sit still during the first part of their morning naps. This is the time I'm guaranteed quiet and I'm at my best in the morning. the problem is I start my day on hyper drive and it's just not relaxing or good for me personally. so, no matter how much I want to get everything done in the first 30 minutes after I put them to bed, I make myself relax. And it's really, really hard! This has been my best time frame for blogging, without it I feel like there's not a good time to get to blogging so I haven't been.

I only have eight minutes left before my timer goes off, I've added cooking and laundry to today's agenda, MWF are our regular laundry days but I didn't get to their sheets yesterday, so I must run!

Quickly though:

Both tomatoes are doing well. Tabitha's face is really changing. Jackson can hold one of our physical therapy positions on his own! Neither are sitting but both are moving backwards. Both can rock on their hands and knees although Tabitha prefers knees and elbows. This week she's started crossing her ankles while she lies on her tummy, too adorable! And, AND! Tabotha has started making consonant sounds! Norah was getting a little concerned but then, as if on cue, Tabitha began da-da-da and ba-ba-ba and yesterday I heard la-la-la followed by ya-ya-ya! It's very, very exciting! Jackson is growing and eating. The screaming, that was so terribly painful, has all but stopped, now rather than Tabotha doing it Jackson does occasionally. And the spitting during meals is nearly gone as well thanks to consistent time-outs by both Sara and I. 

cry, cry, cry.

Built the tomatoes the coolest fort today. They didn't enjoy it, at all. Pretty defeating. Made me want to cry, much like the Johnny Cash song . . .
I wasted my time when I would try, try, try.
When the lights have lost their glow, you're gonna cry, cry, cry.

just a photo . . .

Ei progress

It's been six weeks since we've seen EI. 6! In that time they have made some excellent progress. I'm not exaggerating when I say they were impressed. They were! Both Jackson and Tabitha have improved their sitting. While neither can sit by themselves each can hold the sitting position for about a minute unaided.

The biggest excitement of the visit was Jackson's rocking. The boy loves being on his hands and knees and just rocking back and forth. Being the thoughtful little tomato that he is, he waited until PT put him into that position to show that he could do it. As if to tell her, "I learned what you just taught me!" Norah might have a run for her money there - Jackson seemed smitten!

Tabitha on the other hand, was the opposite of smitten. She wanted nothing to do with PT. She was fussing and cranky throughout the visit and at times down right uncoroperative. It is unclear whether she was having stranger anxiety or just being fussy. She wasn't especially soothed by anyone so I'm voting fussy, especially since it started before EI arrived. She's also yet to show signs of stranger anxiety whereas Jackson has entertained the idea on two or three occasions.

Weighing in are Jackson and Tabitha!

Napping continues to be challenging but after amazing afternoon naps yesterday I'm feeling encouraged. If only the morning nap would fall into line... we're planning to get to bed earlier for the morning nap because they just start thier day overtired. Did happen this morning though because of appointments needing to be kept. RSV shots - two per baby - our second to last of the season. Hooray for Spring!! Jackson weighs in at a beautiful 16 lb 4 oz! He's gained nearly a pound since last month! Good job! Tabitha, solidly on the chart for her actual age, comes in at 18 lb 12 oz! Again, nearly a pound in a month, way to grow!

Both are doing great although Jackson seems to have his first runny nose. Clear and mild, doesn't seem to be bothering him, plus he could be about to get teeth. The boy can't be awake without something on his gums; his finger, a toy, his sister's hand, as long as there's something there he's happy. Last night, after dinner, he wouldn't let me brush his teeth. We've been doing this every evening for the last six weeks or so and they both LOVE it. No matter their mood, they LOVE it. But he was not having it! The funny thing is Tabitha's the drooler. The girl produces as much drool as her brother produces spit up! Speaking of, most recent GI visit has us continuing along the same path, adding third meal, done, and getting ready to start proteins! Hooray!

Side Note: the tulip photos are recent. I took them earlier this week. The blog was too empty and we need to encourage Spring along as much as we can. They were a gift from Norah for Valentine' day. They are from a potted plant and absolutely gorgeous!

Camera Link for Newest Posts

Yes, the camera is there but it isn't linked yet because I need time to upload the photos. Our internet is down at home so I'm doing this as fast as I can. I apologize for the inconvenience.

A reminder to those of you who can't see the photo blog - there's an explanation of this on my profile page.

Back on track - link there-link back! Plus bonus weekend post by Norah, too funny!!! Read it here.

Wednesday:Update

Life here is hard, really tough, when babies don't nap. We're trying to get things consistent enough that there's no starting over every Monday. Getting parents, even intelligent parents, onboard is tough sometimes. Sara can see it one way and Roger another, of course being a third and separate person, I see it another and Norah comes in with an opinion of her own. What we've ended up with is a team of very helpful, invested and determined adults and two very sleepy children.

Change takes time, regularity and persistence. It's been three days and while it's tough now I know it will get better. As much as I love and respect Norah I've asked her to back off a bit because I feel like I'm trying to convince her as much as Roger and Sara when what I need from her is support. Unluckily for me Sara questions much like Norah does and causes me to doubt myself. This doesn't benefit anyone. We flip and flop and end up going in circles. With Norah's support, rather than help, I can remember that I do it this way because it works, and we can all move forward.

It may sound obvious or a little odd, but if your nanny doubts herself you'll doubt her and everything else. It's important for the person in the experienced position to be confident and help those around them feel that confidence until they find their own.

Tuesday:Shadow Play

After some fresh air, Jackson and Tabitha tried a new game: shadow play. Tabitha caught on right away, if she moved, her shadow moved. Jackson was more distracted but eventually noticed and considered his shadow. It was an interesting insight into the mind of nearly nine month olds. I'm looking forward to games we'll play together as they get bigger. Right now our repertoire is limited. We roll the ball back and forth when we have another adult here, we sing or talk back and forth, Jackson is doing his version of "high-5" during bottles and we're drinking out of open cups. Of course it's all very rudimentary but engages their bodies and minds.

Monday:Here we are.

(WARNING: extremely long post, maybe skip to the end, you'll get the gist.)
It's a new week and we're onto our new napping plan. Some of you might not enjoy this post so feel free to leave at any time.

If you give a mouse a cookie...
or
if you explain your expectations...

If you explain your expectations,
kids are going to listen.

When kids listen,
they understand more.

When kids understand more [of the expectations],
they'll know what you want.

When they understand, they'll practice.

Then they'll expect more from you to make sure they know what you want.

When they're sure they understand,
they'll want to practice some more.
They'll probably ask again what you want from them.

When they hear it again,
they'll want to try some more.

They'll start doing what you expect.

They might get carried away and start guessing what you want.
They may even act on these assumptions without your permission.

When you restate the expectations,
they'll probably want to practice again.

You'll have to be patient while they try each part again.

They'll try on the same shoes you showed them before and jump around a bit.

They'll probably ask you for clarification.
So you'll explain to them again what you expect,
and they'll start to practice.

When they've practiced themselves silly,
they'll get so excited to show you they understand.
They'll ask for an opportunity to show you.

They'll do exactly as you expect.

When they've succeeded once,
they'll want to do it again
with you encouraging them.

Then they'll want you to tell everyone.

Which means they'll be hearing again what you expect.

They'll file away what you say
and take time to consider it.

Considering what you expect
will remind them that
they love you.

So...
they'll ask you to explain [your expectations] again.

And chances are
if they ask you to explain again,
they're going to want to practice getting it right.

[When they know how to please you,
they generally will.]

Working with children in different capacities one of the biggest constants is noticing how much more they understand, at all ages, than people think they do. Little bits are smart!

When you run into a frustrating situation with a child, sometimes you can step back and see it from their perspective. If you can truly step back you might realize that you've never actually explained to them what you expect.

Example) When little Madison sees birds she bursts into tears. At home this may seem amusing, surprising, but funny. Without thinking you might laugh or smile. Madison takes this as positive reinforcement of her actions, i.e. see birds = cry.

Next time Madison sees the birds she begins screaming as if being tortured. This time you aren't at home and it isn't funny. You are at the museum and she's scaring the other children. You are embarassed because the birds are outside barely visable and the other parents are staring. Nobody knows Madison sees the birds. It's frustrating to see her screaming and carrying on over birds outside a glass window. You reprimand her. You both feel frustrated. She's confused, last time you encouraged this. Now you are angry? How could she have known?

Going home you let it go. The next day, before you leave the house, you get down to Madison's level. Calmly and slowly you say to Madison,
"Madison the birds aren't going to hurt you. We don't cry when we see the birds."
She looks at you. Thinks about what you said then goes about her world. Later, when you see the birds, she starts to cry and you remind her that we don't cry when we see the birds. She stops. Maybe she sticks close or holds your hand, but she doesn't cry.

This applies to our current napping situation. Meaning we aren't napping and Sara is ready to throw in the towel. But I'm sure if we just tell them what we expect and reinforce what we're looking for, they will get it and all will be well. Man, little tinies are so much easier than these big thinkers! all they want to do is explore their worlds and practice and be out there, but without sleep they won't reach their growth potential, brain potential or keep their nanny - cause I'll lose my mind!

Friday:Rock & Roll

He's rocking regularly back and forth on his knees. Can you believe it? It's AWESOME!! No sitting yet, but preparing to crawl - go big boy, Go!

She's rolling like crazy. Onto her back to check out the world, kick her heels and do what she feels when she feels like doing it! Still just practising the sit, but moving to her own tune! Roll baby Roll!

Roger and Sara have been moving right along as well. Planning activities, keeping things at home in motion and feeling over all on top of things. Hooray for a healthy family!

Next week will likely have some shaking it up symptoms. Naps have been terrible this week ad we're going to make some changes. More on Monday!

Long Day.

Today was a very, very long day. Neither Jackson nor Tabitha felt they should nap longer than 45 minutes at a stretch. Of course this didn't mean they weren't tired, oh no my friend. They were crank-kee! Finally after much patience shown by Sara and I slept about an hour and a half - you wouldn't believe it - they woke up completely different children! It was a much better evening than it had been morning or afternoon. I was glad for that! Sara and I had a long talk about naps and scheduling and expectations and such. It's great to work with someone who 1)appreciates your intelligence, opinion and experience, 2)respects your opinion even if she doesn't agree with it, 3)asks questions about your perspective to try and understand it better, and finally tends to agree with me on most things (that's just a bonus). 

Speaking of bonuses...anybody been clicking on the camera link???

Way to go!

Jackson has gained a pound since his last visit to the specialist! He doesn't need to go back until his birthday!! Hooray for Jackson!!!

Of course there was no napping this morning. Tabitha thought 45 minutes would suffice and Jackson decided 35 was plenty. I don't need to tell you that they were extremely fussy until their next nap when they slept a whopping 2.5 hours!!! Oh yes - they woke up the cutest, snuggliest little tomatoes you've ever seen!! It was a great afternoon! (that is if I leave out the part about Tabitha's new trick, called manipulating adults!!! she focuses on Roger but feels confident enough to put everyone through the wringer!) We even enjoyed some great floor time - have I told you how awesome they are getting with gross motor skills??? Oh wait around, that post is coming!

Babyfood to be cleaned, cooked and cubed (ice cubed)!

Didn't mention it, but I've got a bounty, seriously, of food to cook this week. I should stay pretty busy (read: I won't really have time for blogging)!

They can eat everything pictured except the beets and the melon - those are their new foods this week.

Beets, yummy! Both Sara and Norah LOVE beets! They are thrilled for Jackson and Tabitha to try them. Not as much of a fan, I'm excited that they are moving on to more vegetables!

Beet greens are supposed to be very healthy. I've never eaten them but waste not want not, I'm going to prepare them for the tomatoes. I'll let you know what I think, hopefully they aren't too bitter.

Beet stems, they are so colorful, aren't they? I think they look like licorice! planning to cook these also, they feel so much like celery.

Now that everything is cleaned and chopped I can start cooking!

Carrots first as they are my favorite.
Mmmm, carrots, yummy! Alright, putting the lid on...

Now I can puree the snap peas I just steamed...
Asking Roger for snap beans I ended up with snap peas. He tries and we aren't going to give him a hard time - okay? At least these were gorgeous snap peas - they looked like edamame! Not really a fan of either myself, we'll see what Jackson and Tabitha think.

I actually threw these in first, planning ahead, but saved their picture for last...
Aww, squash. A few weeks back we had company at our house and I made a squash mix that I called "squashers mash." It had butternut and acorn squash, baked then pureed with nutmeg and cinnamon. It was really tastey. Because it was something new I made a few cubes for the tomatoes even though they'd never had acorn squash. They LOVED IT!! Roger requested I make more, the beets are wrapped up here too, I hope they don't leak beet juice all over!